Another Old, White, Male, Republican Explains Female Anatomy To Me

Oh wow, I totally missed this info in health class:

“First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare,” Akin told KTVI-TV in an interview posted Sunday. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

News flash! The female body is this amazing, mysterious thing that totally knows when a rape is “legitimate” or not! Oh wait, maybe not. Rep. Todd Akin, Republican of Assholedome, Missouri — you’ve just met your Macaca moment!

Akin now claims he “misspoke” but he hasn’t apologized to the thousands of rape victims in the United States whom he just metaphorically raped again by calling them liars. Not to mention the old wive’s tale he just perpetrated that potentially puts other women at risk. Rep. Todd Akin, you’re an asshole. The only cherry on this shit pie would be the discovery that Akin serves on the House Committee on Science, Space & Technology. Republicans, let’s make a deal: we’ll stop making fun of you when you stop being so mockable.

Here’s some advice to all the old, white, male Republicans who are still sucking on the teet of their old, white, male Republican privilege: Go fuck yourselves.

Oh yes, please keep telling me how the “war on women” is all in our pretty little heads. And remember the whole “forcible rape” bullshit from last January? Remember that? How the House Republicans — primarily old, white, males — tried to redefine rape? Yeah, I remember that. Let’s remember that Paul Ryan was part of that little hateful cabal, too.

The Republican War On Women continues apace. Carry on.

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17 Comments

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17 responses to “Another Old, White, Male, Republican Explains Female Anatomy To Me

  1. democommie

    It is difficult to undertand how any of these assholes have famililes or were even themselves conceived. I sincerely don’t get how women can live with these assholes, never mind vote for them.

    • ThresherK

      I’m gonna chalk that up to the modus operandi of marrying (and having kids) at so young an age one doesn’t know what one wants from life. (With a side dish of strong man-on-top authoritarian teaching and no real sex ed.)

      Isn’t part of the proverbial “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” syndrome starting the process out before a woman knows what a good relationship entails, before she discovers she has a say?

  2. Any female in Missouri who even thinks about voting for this bastard should have to visit a rape crisis center and hear the TRUTH. And as I ranted on FB and online, the only answer for his profain and total hatred of females in his god-aweful opinion of what it feels like to be raped, in my opinion, is to be shipped off immediately to a hard-core prison and be forced to experienced the joys of RAPE for one week.
    And if he has a wife or daughters, they had better pack up and get the hell out of that house now…before they are ‘legitimately raped’…

  3. deep

    But what about teh babbys? How is babby formed??

  4. Randy

    +1. And is it just me but does the whole “misspoke” defense go up in smoke when one cites medical evidence to support ones’s misspeaking? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The intellectual gymnastics necessary for any thinking person to continue to support the GOP border on psychosis.

    • I think the operative word in your comment is “intellectual.” GOP is the part of anti-intellectualism, after all. They’re the ones who turned going to college some kind of wacky “elitist” thing to do. So, you know, “intellect” ain’t exactly high on their list of positive attributes.

      And yeah, he’s on the House Science, Space & Technology Committee. Which I found appalling until someone reminded me that Michele Bachmann is on the House Intelligence Committee.

  5. Sounds like a real shitstorm brewing around all of this. Even trickster coyote Rove has jumped ship on Akin. Just in time for the convention. Might I suggest a Ron Paul candidacy on the second or third vote? He would never deny a woman an abortion as long as he could get some car repair or construction work done in exchange. Republican women, we are all standing for you!

    So a Romney-Ryan White House, (Goddess forbid! Shudder!) would not oppose abortion in the case of a rape? Forcible or otherwise? How magnanimous! Why bother overturning Roe v.Wade? Declare a nation-wide moratorium on abortions. Set up an abortion board.for potential candidates. This could be Ryan’s special area of national service. After purported rape victims had endured the vaginal probing machine, they could appear before Paul Ryan at a federal courthouse and plead their case.

    • Might I suggest a Ron Paul candidacy on the second or third vote?

      You mean Ron “Honest Rape” Paul”? Yes, do, let’s. We’d love to carry this War On Women conversation on through to November. And hey, GOP: good luck finding a Republican who doesn’t agree with Akin’s Neanderthal views. His sin, as we all know, was not in holding these views. It was in speaking them out loud.

      • Holy Shit! The guy calls himself a libertarian? Liberty for the ruling white males. After all, our country was founded by the rich, landed, male ruling aristocracy. shouldn’t we return to our roots???

        Public street signs on major thoroughfares in San Diego and Pacific Beach claimed that “Ron Paul has the Weed” with a big picture of a leaf. His stupid son voted against making dangerous fake marijuana illegal. Freedom to make a buck is apparently the most holy of freedoms.

  6. Randy

    Damn. Now I’m conflicted. After 3 3/4 years BHO finally sounded like a liberal. Sound bite from this mornings drive to work… “a bunch of men don’t need to be making health care decisions for women.” On behalf of my daughters I may have to vote for Obama after all.

  7. Min

    It’s not only anti-woman, it’s anti-science. Which is pretty much the far right refrain these days.

  8. Susan

    When I was in law school I was in a class with 40 guys and 10 girls. In Criminal Law Mr. 4.0 in the class summarized a case and said there was no such thing as rape. He was 6’4” tall, blond and athletic and said that if a girl didn’t want the sex she could just keep her legs together. Being a girl, I made the argument that rape occurs ten times more than what is reported. I gave the example that almost every woman I knew at that time had experienced some kind of rape encounter from drunk “date-rape” to rape by a family member or family friend or violent rape. I gave physical situations where a girl would be totally overpowered–more than one guy; in a car; dragged backwards by the hair; flatout beat-up; pinned down by the shoulders with the guy on top. All the guys joined in together and said bullshit. Then I stood up and said every girl in this room that has personally experienced what I am talking about, stand up and tell these guys what you did to try to prevent it, and whether it was about power, control, violence or sex. All but one girl stood up. There was almost a riot. We didn’t convince the guys. I did get the Book Award for Criminal Law.

  9. thomas

    There are and have been, throughout the world, cultures in which women are subjected to violence and the women allow this violence and they themselves commit violent acts on their own female children which often leads to infant death if not a life of abuse. In our country, subjugation has been allowed and even encouraged by mothers against their daughters… We would like to think we are enlightened modern humane people, but we have a large segment of our nation that are warmongers who want to perpetuate their way of life and even take it to other countries and enlighten them, too. In this culture men must be warriors and women must bare them sons who are warriors.. Sorry, no evolution or enlightenment on this planet… move along, nothing to see here.