Why We Suck

There are no words.

In defense of some of the people in this video, many appear to be tourists from out of state. That’s what happens when you do “man on the street” interviews at a tourist attraction like the Tennesseee Aquarium, and the Chattanooga newspaper staff should have known better than to ask a “who’s the governor of Tennessee” question at a place with a high concentration of tourists. They should have taken this bit to Kroger.

But clearly not all of them are, especially the idiots who think Phil Bredesen is still governor. And to those people I say: if you can’t fucking pay attention, then you deserve all the wingnuttery you get.

You know who benefits from ignorance, complacency and disengagement? The status quo. The plutocracy. The powerful. The people in charge.

TN GOPers Root Out Creeping Sharia In Capitol Bathrooms

Tennessee State legislators Bill Ketron (R-CooCooForCocoaPuffs) and Judd Matheny (R-TinFoilHatsRUS) are still focused like a laser on crazy crap no one really gives a shit about:

Building managers and legislative staffers have sought to reassure some concerned Tennessee lawmakers that recent renovations at the state Capitol did not install special facilities to support Muslim prayer rituals.

The new sink is instead meant to make it easier for custodial staff to fill buckets and clean mops.

Senate Clerk Russell Humphrey said he had been approached by a House and Senate member to inquire about the basin, which replaced a utility sink that had been mounted higher on the wall.

Sen. Bill Ketron of Murfreesboro said he had asked about the change after being approached about it by fellow Republican Rep. Judd Matheny of Tullahoma. Ketron said the answer dispelled any potential concerns, while Matheny denied being involved.

Ha ha ha … Love that Matheny is all like, “Huh? Waddun’t me!”

SO GLAD WE GOT THAT CLEARED UP FOLKS! Now back to your regularly scheduled wackadoodle.

Fer crying out loud … Who in their right mind sees a dang sink and immediately gets all scared about ZOMG ISLAMOFASCISM!? Get some help, guys. Like, of the medicinal sort? Maybe?

I do not want to know what reality looks like to these guys.

Rep. Steve Cohen Pwns TNGOP

Have you heard this crazy story about Rep. Steve Cohen, a progressive Democrat from Memphis? He was caught sending Tweets to a young college girl during the SOTU and the TNGOP jumped all over what they were sure was a scandal-in-the-making. They even called Cohen “The Weiner of the South” in their official statement, and devoted a hefty chunk of their Twitter feed to milking the “scandal.”

Funny story, turns out the girl Cohen was Tweeting was his daughter. What? You didn’t know he had a daughter? Cohen didn’t either, until three years ago.

So now the TNGOP has egg all over its face (and Twitter stream). Not surprisingly, they’d like everyone to just move along now, please! Bygones! And also, Tweeting during the SOTU is very bad, except if you’re a Republican trying to disrespect the President, which in 2009 they all did.

And then we have this priceless message from former TNGOP spokesperson Bill Hobbs, who wrote:

“Not knowingly, but still”? You gotta be kidding me.

Maybe Tennessee Republicans can pass a law requiring men to set aside a chunk of money on the off-chance they might have unknowingly fathered a child. Nah, that would just be silly — though not as silly as half the stuff Republicans have put forth in our legislature this session.

Also: I Don’t Think Freedom Of The Press Means What You Think It Means

Any Resemblance To Tennessee Republicans Is Entirely Intentional

Oh you guys Tennessee Republicans are so mad! They are simply fit to be tied, tamping their widdew feet at the news media which had the absolute gall to report on all of the crazy, wackadoodle, loony legislation coming out of the Republican Supermajority.

And they are doing something about it!

Dunn, a leading member of the House leadership team, says he’s voting for legislation requiring the Transportation Department to advertise bids for contracts by publishing notices on the department’s website instead of in newspapers around the state.

That’ll cost newspapers $250,000 a year. At a House Transportation subcommittee meeting, Dunn said it serves them right.

Tennessee Republicans in the legislature want to retaliate? Oh, shock me. What else do they do up at the state capitol these days except retaliate against perceived grievances? Their entire existence is devoted to sending a giant “fuck you” to every group they don’t like, starting with the cities of Nashville and Memphis.

These are the same people who got in a fit of pique when the Nashville school board denied Great Hearts Academy their charter (for reasons I outlined here); now they’ve decided to pass a law saying charter schools could bypass the school board and go straight to the state for approval — but this law only applies to Nashville and Memphis!

This is the same group who got so offended when Nashville’s city council passed a non-discrimination ordinance which included GLBT people that they passed a law which effectively overturned it.

This is the same group who, when Memphis renamed their Confederate parks a week or so ago, put forth a bill banning the renaming of Confederate parks and monuments in the future.

This is the same group who, upset at the private Vanderbilt University’s anti-discrimination policy affecting campus organizations, actually passed a law against it, prompting our governor’s first veto. This is the same group which has brought that bill back, this time limiting it to just state schools.

And I haven’t even started on the crazy crap, like “Don’t Say Gay,” “We Love Guns Rights More Than Property Rights,” and “Let’s Shame & Torture Slutty Ladies Who Want Abortions,” not to mention “Hey The United Nations Is Really Scary” and today’s doozy, “Let’s Celebrate Black History Month By Banning Affirmative Action.”

So no, don’t blame the media for reporting when y’all act like the nation’s crazy uncle.

I can’t decide if Tennessee Republicans are on a mad little power trip with their supermajority, or if they’re just little children who have to legislate their way over everyone they disagree with. Memphis and Nashville are the economic drivers of this state, but the Republicans just hate they’re we’re also more liberal than they can tolerate. And by God if they could pass a law making it illegal for a city to be more liberal than their narrow-minded, petulant, petty little hillbilly selves, they sure would.

This is headed for a big-time showdown. Nashville’s mayor and Chamber and CVB are all-in on branding Nashville as a creative center, a place not just for all kinds of musicians and artists, but as a center for the technology industry. They are trying to draw young people, creative people, innovative thinkers, entrepreneurs. And the crazy crap coming out of the state legislature is definitely sending the opposite message. It sends the message that Tennessee is a place for knuckle-dragging racist Neanderthals and Bible thumpers, and if there’s one blue spot in the middle of this sea of red they will rub it out.

I do not know which side will win out in this battle, but I have to think it’s the side with the money, and that would be our cities.

I Don’t Think Religious Freedom Means What You Think It Means

Do you want to know what’s funniest about the brand-new Tennessee Religious Freedom Caucus? Not the fact that we have one — after all, Tennessee is the state where people have actually filed lawsuits to stop construction of a mosque, and where a Nashville mosque has been vandalized not once but twice. So you can see how religious liberty is still an issue here.

Nope, it’s the people who are in the Religious Freedom Caucus.

From the state House we have Representatives Charles Curtiss, D-Sparta; Rick Womick, R-Rockvale; Bill Dunn, R-Knoxville; Judd Matheny, R-Tullahoma; Mark White, R-Memphis; Joe Pitts, D-Clarksville; Harold Love, D-Nashville; John DeBerry, D-Memphis and Jimmy Matlock, R-Lenoir City.

On the state Senate side we have Senators Brian Kelsey, R-Germantown; Dolores Gresham, R-Somerville; John Stevens, R-Huntingdon; Mae Beavers, R-Mt. Juliet; Charlotte Burks, D-Monterey and Reginald Tate, D-Memphis.

Let’s look at a few of these folks, shall we:

• Rick Womick, of course, was last in the national news for wanting to bar Muslims from serving in the U.S. military, saying they should just “go back where they came from.”

• Judd Matheny was one of the geniuses behind Tennessee’s infamous anti-Sharia law bill two years ago.

• Jimmy Matlock last embarrassed himself by getting foamy-mouthed when the president of the Tennessee Transgender Political Coalition dared wish him a “happy holiday,” not happy Christmas:

Apparently, Rep. Matlock doesn’t appreciate other groups usurping his Christmas, “…this is not a holiday season, it is a Christmas season. We celebrate Christmas, not the holidays. This is a Christian Nation!”

When Dr. Richmond explained that it was the first full day of Hanukkah, Matlock retorted, “This is a Christian Nation! We celebrate the Christmas season, not the holiday season. And I don’t want to hear anything about transvestites. That is against all that I believe.”

Sigh. And I didn’t even get into Bill Dunn’s whole “Monkey Bill” nonsense.

Seems some folks have confused “religious freedom” with “promote Christianity.” Shocked, I know.

The Amazing Jeremy Faison Exemption

[UPDATE]:

Jeremy Faison says he “misspoke”:

“What I was saying is routinely I have a gun in my car, and that’s not illegal in Tennessee,” he said in a phone interview. “It just came out wrong. I have a gun in my car we weren’t talking about me carrying a gun.

Oh. So when you said,

“One day I’ll probably get caught if I don’t get a permit, and I’ll get in trouble”…

… what exactly did that mean? If you weren’t doing anything illegal then why would you get in trouble?

I’m calling bullshit on Jeremy Faison. He’s a coward and a liar.

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I find myself increasingly intrigued by the heretofore-unknown Jeremy Faison Exemption. I’d like to thank Rep. Faison for letting us know this exemption from state laws we don’t like exists. I feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted from my shoulders.

For example, it’s such a relief to know that I don’t have to worry about Jim Kyle’s Jim Tracy’s slut-shaming bill becoming law. Slutty ladies, if you need an abortion and don’t have time or money for a state-mandated ultrasound, just claim your Jeremy Faison Exemption! Grocery stores, you can start selling wine right now! Gays, go to the county clerk and demand your marriage license — and tell ‘em Jeremy Faison sent you!

Isn’t this fabulous? You can even hold a seat in the state house and no one will care that you’ve bragged to the press about openly ignoring state laws! Amazing, ain’t it? Which begs the question: if even members of the Tennessee General Assembly admit they’re violating state law and the leadership doesn’t seem to care, why the hell are you folks wasting our money and your time making these laws to begin with? Go home.

Horrible Idea Of The Day

This:

A bill proposed by East Tennessee Republicans calls for U.S. Senate candidates to be nominated by the Legislature’s partisan caucuses rather than in contested primary elections.

Sen. Frank Niceley, R-Strawberry Plains, proposes that the new system take effect on Nov. 30, 2014. That effectively “grandfathers in” incumbent Republican U.S. Sen. Lamar Alexander’s re-election under the present system “because he’s doing such a good job,” said Niceley.

Humphreys writes that this change would,

avoid the huge fundraising and spending in primary elections and open the door for more qualified candidates with fewer financial resources to seek the nomination, Niceley said.

Bullshit. It would neuter the Tea Party, whose only power right now is in threatening to primary any candidate who doesn’t sufficiently bend and scrape and spout the crazy they need to prove they’re the “real conservative.” It would end the kind of stuff currently causing Mitch McConnell the vapors in Kentucky. It would take the power away from the most dedicated voters, the ones who vote in primaries.

I get why they want to do this. It’s not just the money. Primaries force candidates to say stuff necessary to win the base that they then regret in the general election. To which I say: Awww. I’m sorry that the GOP base is so extreme that it turns off most sane voters. Really, I am!

Tennessee’s Democrats aren’t immediately nixing the idea, either. They well remember the disaster that was the Mark Clayton senate candidacy. Again: Awww. Sorry, but your inability to do your damn jobs and sufficiently vet the candidates and sell your candidates is no reason to take the power away from voters. Sorry to make you guys actually work for a change.

I understand that people don’t vote in primaries (well, I do. But I’m one of those crazy people who thinks voting matters). But whose fault is that?

What The Hell Is Wrong With Stacey Campfield

[UPDATE]:

Check out this hilarious exchange wherein Campfield (or someone posting as him) defends his “out the gay kids” part of his legislation.

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Fresh off his “suffer the little children” legislation, State Senator Stacey Campfield, R-Sociopath, has brought back his “Don’t Say Gay” legislation for the third time, this time with an extra helping of hate:

The bill, SB 234, still bars Tennessee teachers from discussing any facet of “non-heterosexual” sexuality with children in grades K-8. But the newest iteration also includes a provision requiring teachers or counselors to inform the parents of some students who identify themselves as LGBT.

What could possibly go wrong! Gee, I think if a kid felt safe talking to their parents about issues of sexual orientation, they wouldn’t be bringing it up with a school counselor in the first place, now would they? Dumbass.

Look, three things need to be said about Stacey Campfield:

1- What the hell is wrong with you, son? Did you not get enough titty when you were a baby? Were you born without a compassion gene? Are your shoes too tight?

2- The culture wars are over. Republicans lost. Give it up.

3- Finally, rumors about Campfield’s own orientation have been rampant for years. If they’re true, then dangit I sure wish someone would please just out Stacey Campfield already.

You know what? I’m only half joking here. Good grief, but I’ve never seen a straight man so obsessed with all things gay who didn’t eventually end up on the wrong end of a rentboy scandal. Certainly not these guys. There has to be a reason Campfield is focused like a laser on all things gay, and self-hate seems as good a reason as any.

Campfield’s hate is damaging GLBT kids. And no, teen suicide is not “a lark.” Just ask the family of Jadin Bell. If Campfield thinks it’s perfectly fine for the state to mandate outing gay or possibly gay or maybe not even gay but confused kids to their parents — to leave these kids with nowhere safe to go to talk about what’s happening in their lives — then I hope someone returns the favor.

Also, thank you very much New York. Campfield is yours, he’s from Binghamton and didn’t move to Tennessee until he was 25 years old. I’m tired of Tennessee getting blamed for his fuckery; we’ve got plenty of our own home-grown bigotry, please don’t saddle us with the blame for this asshat. I spent a summer in that part of the world and let me tell you, there are as many rednecks in upstate New York and Pennsylvania as in Tennessee.

And finally, hope you’re enjoying your Republican super-majority, Tennesseeans. This is what you get when you vote Republican: a bunch of bullshit about gays, and constitutional amendments banning stuff we’ve already banned three times before, because Tennessee Republicans are too lazy to vote unless the General Assembly uses the ol’ carrot-and-stick approach. So much for the important stuff.

Strange Bedfellows, TN Gun Loons Edition

The local news is all abuzz about the Franklin City Alderman who actually wants to loosen gun laws and allow CCW permit holders to bring their weapons into City Hall and other municipal buildings. (For my non-Nashville readers, Franklin is a city just south of Nashville.) Meet Alderman Dana McLendon:

McLendon said there should be more people with guns everywhere.

I beg to differ. But, whatever.

Dana McLendon was last in the news about, oh, three days ago, when he appeared in BFF James Yeaeger’s apology video as his attorney. That’s right, the Tennessee gun loon who garnered us national embarrassment attention for his “I’m gonna start blowing shit up because of Obama” YouTube rant is represented by Dana McLendon.

McLendon is apparently working hard to get Yeager’s gun permit reinstated. What’s weird to me is that none of the news reports I’ve seen regarding McLendon’s pro-gun advocacy as a Franklin Alderman have connected the dots to his infamous “I’m going to start shooting people” client James Yeager. I wonder why that is?

RIP, TNDP

Meet the guy who just got elected chairman of the Tennessee Democratic Party.

They just don’t get it, do they? And they’ll just keep losing. If the Tennessee Democratic Party is going to look like the Tennessee Republican Party I really see no reason to support them.