Tag Archives: Guns

Congratulations, Jason Paul Bryant! You Are Our 2nd Amendment Hero Du Jour

One of our safest, most responsible gun owners ever exercised his Constitutional right to conceal-carry a gun into a Texas convenience store because Freedom and also Self-Protection and Stand My Ground, whereupon he hitched up his shorts and promptly shot himself in the leg:

“He walked maybe six feet in the door when he pulled his shorts up, something caught the trigger and the gun discharged into his leg,” Vanover said. “People immediately rushed over to help.”

By the time Officer Shelbye Alemeida arrived at the scene a women in the store had secured a tourniquet made of a belt around the shot leg and was applying pressure to the wound.

Chief Vanover said the accident could have most likely been prevented if proper gun safety had been observed.

“If you’re going to carry a gun it needs to be in a safe holster,” Vanover said. “It’s dangerous to stick a gun in your pants. No one was hurt besides him.”

No charges were filed against Bryant for the negligent discharge, and no word on his condition as of Monday morning.

No, filing charges would be wrong. Taking away his concealed-carry permit would be wrong. Even though Chief Vanover said the accident was preventable, Bryant was not practicing proper gun safety, and was in fact carrying his gun in a dangerous manner, no charges were filed.

Because Texas.


Filed under gun control

Congratulations, Unidentified MI Woman! You Are Our 2nd Amendment Hero Du Jour

At this point, these folks have descended into self-parody:

FREMONT TOWNSHIP, MI — A 51-year-old woman accidentally shot herself in the face after she slammed the butt end of a shotgun on the floor, causing it to discharge, the Tuscola County Sheriff’s Department reports.

Deputies were called about 10 a.m. Monday, July 14, to a house on Waterman in Fremont Township for a report of a gunshot victim.

Upon arrival, deputies found that a family dispute had taken place and the victim, a 51-year-old woman, told officers that she had taken a shotgun out to “make a point.”

She told police she slammed the butt end on the floor, the gun discharged, and she was shot in the face.

This could only have been better if she’d shot herself in the foot instead.


Filed under gun control

Congratulations, Unidentified N.C. Man! You Are Our 2nd Amendment Hero Du Jour

A Friday evening trip to PetSmart for a man and his wife resulted in a trip to the ER thanks to what police say is likely an accidental gun discharge by some nervous Nellie too askeered to hit the local mall without his or her fireams:

A man and his wife were going into the PetSmart when someone’s .22-caliber gun discharged somewhere near the building, police said. The shot hit the building and then hit the man’s shoulder, police said.

Several nearby stores were locked down just in case the incident was serious. However, police don’t believe there is any threat to the public.

A trip to PetSmart to buy some goddamn dog food now involves risk of bodily injury, possibly even death, because of Freedom! Second Amendment! Constitution!

Everything I’ve always said that’s wrong with open carry, concealed carry, guns-in-cars, guns-in-restaurants, guns everywhere, etc. is realized all across America every single week. Some innocent person going about their life is put at risk by a gun-humping yahoo who for inexplicable reasons (*cough*cough*FOX NEWS*cough*cough*) has been led to believe the streets of America are not safe for ordinary, unarmed citizens. You people are crazy. If you can’t see you’re being manipulated by a corporate interest that profits from fearmongering, you’re also stupid. Please just stay home if you’re that scared.

By the way, we have a Second Amendment Hero runner-up this week, this one in South Carolina, though our Hero is from North Carolina (what are the odds!):

Orangeburg County Sheriff’s Office

A 2-year-old child was inside an Orangeburg hotel room that was struck by a bullet when a guest’s gun went off early Thursday.

Investigators were sent to the Holiday Inn Express about 7 a.m. where they spoke with a Virginia couple who said they were awakened by a gunshot. The man said when he got up to investigate, he found a hole in a glass door and what looked like a bullet on the floor.

At that point, a North Carolina man began knocking on the couple’s door to explain and apologize. He said he was staying in the room next door and had been putting his .45 caliber Colt pistol in his luggage. As he did, the handgun fell to the floor, discharging a round through his closet and into the Virginia couple’s adjacent room.

No one in the room, including the 2-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy, was injured.

Management and the North Carolina man reached an agreement about paying for the damages, the report states. No charges have been filed.

No, filing charges would be wrong. /snark

As more people carry their weapons out in the world where the populace congregates, we will see more incidents like this happen. Not all of them will have such happy endings. I predict we’ll look back on this era of loosening gun carry laws as a particularly crazy period of American history, a time when America capitulated to the forces of fear over reason. We’ve been here before (Red Scare, anyone?). The people who led that charge have not been remembered well by history. The gun loons won’t be, either.

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Tennessee Gun Report

Two accidental shootings reported this week. Freedom.

• July 8, 2014:

Donate $10 to Robert Dalton’s campaign for Lewisburg public defender, and you have a chance to win a pistol. Needless to say, the fundraiser appears to run afoul of state laws regulating raffles and games of chance. Oops.

• July 7, 2014:

A Chattanooga four-year-old is in critical condition after being shot in the chest by a BB gun owned by a teenaged neighbor. BB guns are not benign, says the hospital’s Pediatric Injury Prevention Coordinator Coy Ellis:

He says the emergency room sees between eight to ten children a month with similar injuries.

“Well they can be as severe as you can imagine,” Ellis explains. Over the years he says BB guns have developed, becoming more powerful.

“Handheld firearms have a muzzle velocity of about 850 feet per second. Some of these non powdered guns, BB guns and things like that, they travel about 50 percent of that. You’re talking about 450 feet per second,” says Ellis.

At that speed a shot from a BB or pellet gun can be fatal. Nation wide BB gun shootings average four deaths a year. The Consumer Products and Safety Commission advice those under 16 not use them. “However, there’s no regulation as far as that goes,” Ellis says. Most of the responsibility must lie on the parents who allow their children to have them.

No regulation. Because, Reasons.

• July 5, 2014:

A Nolensville man learned the hard way that what goes up must come down:

Authorities determined a weapon discharged into the air, ultimately striking the unidentified man ni the upper calf.

Yeee-haw. Also, “a weapon discharged into the air”? Really? All by itsownself? Someone didn’t fire it into the air? Heh. Guess guns really DO shoot people? Yes, or no? Nice use of the passive-voice gun dodge there.

• July 1, 2014:

Nine guns were stolen from a Chattanooga pawn shop, and are now on the black market, available to be used in violent crimes in Chicago and other places around the country. Brilliant.

This happens ALL the damn time, people. Why is there not a requirement that guns be kept in a safe overnight? Jewelry stores do it all the time.

• June 27, 2014:

A responsible gun owner responsibly forgot their gun in a carry-on bag at Memphis International airport.


Filed under gun control, Tennessee

Congratulations Unidentified Pennsylvania Man! You Are Our 2nd Amendment Hero Du Jour

More guns on the black market thanks to our 2nd Amendment Hero of the day:

PITTSBURGH (Reuters) – Robbers attacked an elderly gun collector in his western Pennsylvania home and escaped with an arsenal of 31 firearms, at least 14 of which are still missing.

Three armed men wearing masks kicked in the door of the 71-year-old man’s house in Sharon, 75 miles northwest of Pittsburgh, at around 12:30 a.m. Wednesday and took firearms including an AK-47, handguns, rifles, shotguns, other semi-automatic weapons, ammunition and historic pistols, police chief Michael Menster said Thursday.

The robbers tied the gun collector up, ransacked his house and locked him in a closet. They also stole a television and stereo. When they left, the man was able to escape and call 911, Menster said.

Gosh if only this man had some guns at home for protec- … er, never mind. If only he’d been collecting stamps instead.


Filed under gun control, Guns

Tennessee Gun Report

Down in Georgia, gun loons celebrated their new “guns everywhere” law going into effect by almost shooting each other. Huzzah! Here in Tennessee we have some new gun laws that went into effect July 1, too, notably the “guns-in-cars” bill. Expect to hear more stories about road-rage incidents escalating into gun violence, gun injuries, and guns stolen from cars. Not that we don’t have enough of this shit as it is. But Republicans are morons and refuse to learn from their mistakes because Reasons.

This week’s gun report has one accidental shooting and the usual amount of stupid.

• June 30, 2014:

1- A Nashville man playing with a gun accidentally shot himself in the arm.

2- From Memphis, this headline wins the Gun Report:

Two men with only three working legs between them try to rob gun store

They were unsuccessful.

3- A Weakley County man was arrested for stealing guns, specifically guns

“…stolen from cars and homes in and around the city of Martin.”

I don’t get the stealing guns from cars thing. If you’re leaving your gun in your car then you’re an irresponsible asshole and you should be cited. What kind of moron is to fucking lazy to remove their gun from their car in the first place? Oh, right, the kind who is so chickenshit he can’t drive from point A to point B unless he’s armed because PARANOIA. Can’t tall you how many of these idiots leave their guns in their cars unlocked, too. Dumbasses.

• June 27, 2014:

Check out this Jonesborough wackkjob with a messiah complex. He’s a real piece of work.

• June 26, 2014:

Despite Facebook’s claims to have shut down its gun trade, Tennessee’s Tri-Cities Gun Swap group is still going strong. This is where you can trade an AK-47 for a jet ski, no background checks required, because Freedom.


Filed under gun control, Tennessee

Congratulations, Unidentified Texas Man! You Are Our 2nd Amendment Hero Du Jour

Two Texas men went to a gun show. Only one came home:

CEDAR PARK, Texas (AP) – Police say a man fatally shot his father-in-law in an accident while both were in a vehicle outside a Central Texas gun show.

Cedar Park police are investigating the weekend death of 59-year-old John Glover Warden of Jarrell (JEHR’-uhl) but say they do not suspect foul play.

Warden was shot on Saturday and died later at an Austin-area hospital.

Police say the son-in-law had reloaded a gun and was handling the weapon when it fired.

No charges filed because these things are always tragic accidents, not accidents waiting to happen. Also, note the clever use of the passive voice gun dodge here: the son-in-law reloaded the gun, but “it fired.” All by its ownself, I guess.

By the way, this wasn’t the only gun show accident this weekend: a Pennsylvania woman was shot in the leg by a vendor demonstrating a concealed carry holster. Again, just another “horrible accident.”

I’m just curious: when “horrible accidents” result in death and injury, wouldn’t the logical thing be to try to reduce the number of said “horrible accidents”? No?


Filed under gun control

Tennessee Gun Report

Sorry for the light posting, folks. My schedule should calm down in July.

We had one accidental shooting with injury this week, and a whole lot of gun crazy, which I don’t even bother to post about. Not Tennessee related, but I’m nominating WingNut Daily founder and creator of “birtherism” Joseph Farah as our Second Amendment Hero du Jour: Farah oh-so-responsibly forgot he had a loaded .38 in his carry-on bag when he went through security at Dulles airport in Washington D.C. That’s so responsible, you guys, to forget where your loaded guns are! Dumbass. The guy is coo-coo for Cocoa puffs, finding conspiracies and boogeyman under ever rock and tree (especially ones in Kenya!). Knowing he’s walking around armed does not make me feel safer.

Without further ado:

• June 24, 2014:

A Centerville man has been charged with pulling a gun during an argument about religion. So much fail on that one.

• June 23, 2014:

A Murfreesboro man accidentally shot himself when he dropped his duffel bag, according to police reports. Our unnamed Second Amendment Hero was shot in the leg but will be okay.

• June 19, 2014:

1- A Rutledge man shot his 70-year-old father in the face during an argument over why the son had a gun. Sounds about right.

2- A Robertson County man’s protest against gun gets personal:


Very sad.

• June 17, 2014:

You know, stories like this make me wonder what the hell people are thinking. A man in his 70s saw what appeared to be burglars at his granddaughters’ house, so he grabbed his shotgun, called 911, and attempted to stop the burglars. For his trouble he got shot in the face and nearly killed:

Don Grubb: “Just as quick as I said, ‘Hold it there,’ they shot, and like I said I didn’t know they had a gun and had no idea they was gonna shoot me.”

He returned the fire. In total, they along with the second suspect Tyler Trivett, exchanged 11 shots.

Don Grubb: “It was pouring blood. It was blood all the way down to my knees.’

Grump was hit in the face and shoulder by buckshot from a shotgun shell. The suspects ran off but left the car they came in. Grubb went inside to get more bullets and then waited until Webster returned.

Don Grubb: “And I stayed behind the car and squatted down until he got close enough I knew I could catch him, and when he took off I run him down.”

He held them at gunpoint until deputies arrived. The Sheriff’s Office found Trivett three miles away.

Every report I’ve read about this incident has a “clap louder for the big hero” ring to it, but I think Don Grubb is a fucking moron. He got shot in the face, nearly killed, and for what? To stop some people from taking some stuff? It’s just stuff. You can buy more stuff. Plus, chances are, the burglars are gonna be caught and you’re gonna get the stuff back anyway. It’s not worth dying over stuff, people.

In the meantime, a 73-year-old man has been shot in the face could have died. And what is the lesson Don Grubb got from this incident? Maybe don’t go all Clint Eastwood over something as dumb as material possessions which can be replaced? Nope:

Don Grubb: “I should have done different, I should have fired first and the next time I will.”

Idiots. It’s not worth killing people over stuff. People completely lose any sense of perspective once they get a gun in their hands.


Filed under gun control

Congratulations, Greg Philip Winnick! You Are Our 2nd Amendment Hero Du Jour

Someone please take his guns away before somebody gets hurt:

A Wind Gap man said he dozed off with a loaded firearm on his lap and was awoken when it fired just before 3 this morning, according to court records.

Greg Philip Winnick, of Oakwood Drive, was watching YouTube videos on a new trigger for his Rebel Arms AR-15 after installing it on the gun, when he fell asleep at the computer with the gun on his lap, according to court records.

Winnick told Pennsylvania State Police with the Belfast barracks that he woke up when the rifle discharged and that he did not realize the gun was loaded, according to records. The 37-year-old told authorities that he had been awake since midnight Sunday, records indicate.

Ah, brilliant. The bullet entered the bedroom of Winnick’s neighbors, who were asleep at the time. The neighbors’ two small children were asleep in the apartment, as well. Apparently the bullet entered right above the neighbors’ mattress.

This happens so often I can’t even count: some idiot in an apartment building discharges a weapon and it narrowly misses an innocent neighbor (or doesn’t miss them, tragically). “No guns” clauses in landlord agreements are going to become more common, methinks.


Filed under gun control, gun violence, Guns

Tennessee Gun Report

I thought we might make it a week without an accidental shooting but, alas, no. Also, I haven’t really checked the reports this week, so there may be others I haven’t heard about which will have to wait for next week.

• June 18, 2014:

A Murfreesboro woman accidentally fired her gun inside her apartment while trying to put the safety on. The woman’s baby was asleep in the same room, but fortunately was unhurt.

• June 17, 2014:

Someone shot up a Murfreesboro judge’s home, and no one knows why.

• June 12, 2014:

A mass shooting plot at Volunteer High School in Rogersville was discovered and thwarted. The alleged plotters were teenagers obsessed with the Columbine shootings.

• June 10, 2014:

File this one under no good deed goes unpunished:

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — A good samaritan is assaulted by an elderly man while trying to help him change his tire in Nashville.

The victim offered to help the 65-year-old man change his flat tire at a local Walmart parking lot in Nashville on June 6. However, according to Metro police, the elderly man, due to his intoxication level, began to argue with the victim and make insults and threats.

The suspect, John Bowers, then grabbed a 9MM Smith and Wesson handgun from his car. The victim saw this and lunged on the elderly man, grabbed the pistol from his hand and slammed him to the ground, according to the police affidavit.

Armed society, polite society, lather, rinse, repeat.


Filed under gun control, gun violence, Tennessee