Tag Archives: Rants

Your Modern American Sweatshop

Oh how I love these people who post ads on Craigslist (click to enlarge):

CraigslitEBook

Wow, the chance to write a 10,000-word eBook for a whopping $50 bucks! Who could turn down such a lucrative opportunity, especially since if they like your work, there’s the opportunity for more such wonderful assignments!

/sarcasm

I mean, cripes: when I ranted about this four years ago the going rate was $5 bucks for a 500-word blog post. My how things have totally not changed. You do the math.

Used to be sweatshops were places in China where they made cheap T-shirts sold at the Gap and Old Navy. Now, it appears sweatshops have entered the white collar job market.

Just, fuck you all very much. Write the damn book yourselves.

[UPDATE]:

Ha! This guy has the right idea!

musicians

8 Comments

Filed under media

Lost In Spaces

Oh, hello. Can someone tell me what day it is? You see, I’ve been underground for so long, I seem to have lost all track of time.

Seriously, TriStar could not have built a more sprawling, confusing, pathetically-lacking-in-wayfinding medical complex than its Nashville headquarters, Centennial. I got hopelessly lost on my way to my annual “X-ray the titties” ordeal and then afterwards toured the poorly-lit parking garage for a full 40 minutes trying to find my car. I was finally rescued by a valet. I’d probably still be down there if I hadn’t run into him. And it wasn’t just me! There were two other women down there trying vainly to find their cars, as well.

I mean, there’s an entire army of lost souls down there, wandering around like they’re searching for Charon to ferry them across the river Styx. Metro Police could probably solve all sorts of missing persons cases if they took a quick trip down there. I’m serious! This was truly the fifth circle of hell. WTF, people?

You want some insult added to that injury? How about this: somewhere along my journey I stumbled across a marble wall with that insufferable Frist family quote, “Good people beget good people,” emblazoned in ginormous silver letters. Savvy liberals will remember this as the title of the family genealogy Bill Frist penned. It got repeatedly hijacked in the Amazon “reviews” section by people offended at the quote’s pomposity, and the fact that then-Senate Majority Leader Frist was making an ass of himself by video-diagnosing Terri Schiavo and helping lead Americans into Iraq. (By the way, the faux reviews are still there.)

“Good people beget good people”? Really? How about, good people know how to design a fucking medical complex so that good people don’t lose two hours of their lives just trying to get to and from their damn appointments. Fuck you, Bill Frist.

I’ve been to a lot of medical complexes in my life, from coast to coast, and have never seen anything as poorly designed as this one.

Major fail.

8 Comments

Filed under Nashville

Next Time Keep Yer Yaps Shut, Tennessee Republicans

Uh-oh, looks like Sen. Bob Corker has embarrassed himself and maybe cost the entire South some jobs:

Reuters reports this morning that Volkswagen’s “top labor representative” has threatened to block any future expansion plans in the South, citing conservative interference in the United Auto Workers vote in Chattanooga.

Quoting an interview with a German newspaper, the news service reports Bernd Osterloh, head of VW’s works council, as saying he can imagine further expansion in the United States, but it probably won’t be in the South unless some sort of labor representation is established in the Chattanooga plant. Workers in Germany have representation on corporate boards, giving them a say in citing decisions.

Osterloh’s remarks seem to contradict statements by U.S. Sen. Bob Corker and others that Chattanooga would get another vehicle if workers rejected UAW representation. Osterloh describes such talk as conservative “interference.”

Hey, Senator Corker: Thanks for nothing, asshole.

Interfering in a manufacturing plant’s business, is that how this “small government” stuff works? Is that how Republicans show they’re “pro-business” and “pro jobs”?

Let’s be real, “small government” and “pro-business” are just Frank Luntz-crafted slogans used to dupe the rubes. As always, when reality collides with conservative ideology, it’s the ideology which wins. “Unions are bad, nobody wants ‘em, corporations hate ‘em, they’re anti-business and kill jobs, whasthatyasay?”

Man, everything you guys touch just turns to shit, doesn’t it?

What’s so funny is that when Corker said VW would really move their next expansion to Mexico if Chattanooga workers approved the UAW he forgot to mention that Mexico’s VW plant is union. Dumb and dumber.

I suppose this means Tennessee Republicans will go back to looking for jobs in ladies vaginas. Aw who am I kidding, they don’t care about jobs, they care about making themselves and their friends wealthier.

Major FAIL, Senator. Major FAIL.

8 Comments

Filed under Bill Haslam, Sen. Bob Corker, Tennesseee, unions

There Is No Santa Claus, Idiots

Jesus effin’ Christmas Tree. This explains what’s wrong with your modern conservative, in a nutshell. Arguments over whether Santa Claus was white, black, orange or green are completely ridiculous when you dial back a bit and remember one crucial thing: Santa isn’t real!

You know, I’d love to use this nonsense to point out all of the other fictitious things conservatives believe in: the free hand of the market, trickle down economics, tax cuts create jobs, Obamacare death panels, Conservative Jesus, etc. Seems like I’ve had to remind conservatives about the difference between fiction and reality before, back when they were pretending Jack Bauer was a real person and torture was the best defense against terrorism. But that’s not what’s going on here.

That conservatives are divorced from reality when it serves them is not news; that they will go to the mat in defense of Santa’s “whiteness” speaks to something deeper. This is about race and identity and the pathetic need to hang onto the idea of white superiority. It wouldn’t matter what race a mythic figure like Santa Claus is if conservatives like Bill O’Reilly didn’t feel so insecure about their cultural position in the first place. It’s another manifestation of the conservative inferiority complex, broadcast on Fox News for all the world to see.

There is nothing more ridiculous than a privileged old white guy arguing that no, black people cannot have Santa Claus. He’s ours. Do you people even hear yourselves?

And they wonder why the rest of the world laughs at them.

21 Comments

Filed under Bill O'Reilly, racism, rants, Republican Party, War On Christmas

Today’s Rant: Do NOT Correct Me, TwAppGoogleSoftBook

[UPDATE]:

I finally figured out how to disable the universal autocorrect. You open System Preferences, go to Language & Text, click on the “Text” menu, and there’s a box which you can uncheck which says “Correct spelling automatically.”

Here ya go:

AutoCorrect pic

See, this is why I love Apple. No other product gives me that sense of satisfaction and well-being that comes from figuring out how to make it stop annoying the hell out of me.

You are hereby absolved from reading the rest of this post. All is well.

—————————————————————–

I do not update my technology very often, not because I’m a Luddite, but because I find every new incarnation of a device or app I use contains some horrible new “improvement” which invades my privacy or does something I don’t want or no longer functions as it once did. But as you all know, last week my creaky old MacBook went kaput and I had to buy a new one.

This one is about three generations more advanced than my old one. Instead of being gently lulled into that Brave New World with successive OS tweaks and software fixes, I’ve had to leap headlong into the modern era, and it’s like jumping into a pool of cold water. This laptop has a click pad which inexplicably makes things bigger if I rest my hand on it the wrong way. Also, as I’ve mentioned, WordPress no longer gives me a scroll bar to select “categories” and “tags.” That’s not so bad for tags, since you can just type them in, but for categories you really need to be able to scroll down the list. Inexplicably, the scroll bar appeared maybe twice? I don’t know what made that happen, but regardless, I can’t seem to repeat that scenario. Yes, FYWP.

But by far the worst “improvement” is the universal autocorrect, which I have yet to figure out how to disable. In the new Macs universal autocorrect will correct your typos as you type, regardless of what application you are in. Whether I’m on WordPress, Twitter, Facebook, Pages, Scrivener, mail, or commenting on someone’s blog, my Mac will autocorrect me as I type along.

While this may sound like a good thing on paper, in reality it is the most evil fucking thing ever invented. I type really fast and I do make mistakes but I also 99.99% of the time correct them, because under the old system a typo was very obvious. Now my Mac corrects me as I go along, based on what it thinks I meant to say, and the misspelled word is no longer underlined so I haven’t even realized I’ve made a typo. Sadly, more often than not it picks the wrong fucking word. So, for example, last night I sent an email to someone and used the word “reply” but universal autocorrect changed it to “replay,” something I only noticed when my correspondent replied back to me. I look like an idiot.

Even worse, I use a lot of different language in my writing, neologisms and expressions like “whaaaaa!” or maybe even a French or Spanish word or two. When I’m writing fiction I write dialogue, and that means things like “Whi-” (stage direction: interruption). And no, MacBook, that was not meant to be “whig.” Thanks for caring, though.

People, I would much rather have an obvious typo in my copy than the wrong fucking word. Dear God but this is awful. I now look like an illiterate asshole, not an asshole who can’t type.

The absolute last thing anyone wants is their computer telling them what it thinks they meant to say. Make it stop. Please.

19 Comments

Filed under rants, technology

Turn Off Your Goddamn Cell Phones In The Theater, People

Hey you young kids up there — yeah I’m talking to YOU. The ones two and three and four rows in front of us and beside us and all around us at the Ryman Auditorium tonight? Maybe it hasn’t occurred to you but when the house lights go down and you’re Tweeting or texting or emailing or burping or farting those pearls of wisdom that simply cannot wait two hours, it’s like fucking laser beams in the eyeballs of every person sitting behind you. Because in case you hadn’t noticed, the rest of the room is dark and your phone is not. So all we can see is the screen of your phone.

And let me add, those pearls of wisdom are pretty fucking lame and most definitely can wait until the show is over or at least the 15 seconds it would take you to walk out into the goddamn hallway.

Seriously, I’m so over people being rude. It’s this Randian notion that I’m the only person in the world that matters. It’s destroying this country.

Offa my damn lawn.

7 Comments

Filed under Nashville

Things That You Can’t Buy Anymore

John Cole nailed it last night:

I find this whole “Obama lied” about keeping your plan nonsense to be quite distressing. The only reason people are not able to keep their plans is that insurance companies no longer offer them. This may because the companies have decided they needed to alter the plans to be more competitive with other plans, or if the plan was so shitty that it covered nothing and the ACA requires the plan to actually do something. That’s it. Obama isn’t running around kicking people off their insurance for shits and giggles, it’s that people can’t keep their insurance plan because the companies ARE NO LONGER OFFERING IT.

There are a ton of things that used to exist that I would love to have back. The original Boomslang Razer, for example. But it doesn’t exist, because the company NO LONGER MAKES IT, so I can’t have what I believe was the best feeling mouse ever. I’m not blaming Obama for that, either.

This is exactly right, and it’s annoying the shit out of me that the news media is picking up the whole “people were kicked off their plans” language. This is what we call technically true but collectively bullshit. If your health insurance was so crappy it doesn’t pass the minimal standard, then you will need to get another one. Cry me a fucking river. Because Congress decided it’s not in the national interest for you to saddle the rest of us with your medical debt because your “insurance” is really just a scam and doesn’t cover jack when you actually need it. That’s the fucking point, people.

If you liked insurance that is basically ripping you off then you’re a moron. You’re probably one of those people who thinks a Nigerian prince wants to send you a million bucks. Guess what, that’s a scam, too.

And can I tell you how annoying I find this national pearl-clutching over what Obama said about people who like getting ripped off by their health insurance company? Jesus effin’ Christmas Tree, people, where the hell was this national pearl-clutching and word-parsing when Bush-Cheney-Rummy et. al. told us Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction and we invaded and occupied Iraq and then it turned out he didn’t have them after all? My God, this “but he said it!” bullshit is gonna give me an aneurism.

The discourse in this country is so fucking annoying. Why is it Democratic presidents are always held to a higher standard than Republican ones? So President Obama said if you like your health insurance you can keep it, and then the insurance companies no longer offer these plans, and Obama is a liar and impeeeeach??! Grow the fuck up, people.

Okay, end rant.

There are a lot of things that have gone the way of the dinosaur which I miss. For example:

1- Free matchbooks at restaurants. I loved those things. I loved them as souvenirs of places I visited, restaurants I liked. I used them, too, because I love matches (not lighter wands) for things like candles and incense. I love that smell of sulfur as you light a matchstick. But no one offers them anymore because people don’t smoke anymore.

2- Public laundromats. I don’t know about where you live, but pretty much every public laundromat in Nashville has closed its doors. I use public laundromats for washing dog beds and large quilts. I don’t know what I’m going to do when the last one near me closes (which is going to be soon, I hear).

3- Liner notes. It was bad enough when liner notes shrunk down to microscopic levels to fit in CD jewel boxes. You needed a magnifying glass to read them, but they at least existed. But now with digital music, you just don’t see them at all. I miss that.

4- Neighborhood speed humps. Metro Nashville Public Works used to put them on residential streets to keep the damn speeders from roaring through our neighborhoods but now that we really really need them on my street I’m told they aren’t building them anymore. Not only that, they’re actually ripping out ones they’d already built. That kinda pisses me off.

These are things I liked and, dangit, I can’t keep ‘em. Whaah. What are yours?

30 Comments

Filed under health insurance, healthcare

Boycotting The Ritual

So here we are, another deadly workplace shooting, another gunman with a history of violence, another chance to offer prayers to the victims’ families, to find the silver lining in individual acts of heroism, yada yada.

Honestly, I’m over it. I’m tired of the national ritual. I’m not feeling sorry for anyone anymore. I’m not doing it, I refuse. I simply don’t have the energy to go through this fucking ritual every three months.

America, you have a problem. You have a mental health problem, you have a violence problem, you have a gun problem. Either deal with these issues or don’t. But stop asking me to give a fuck anymore.

This is the society we’ve asked for by refusing to address our national problems. We’ve chosen to argue over petty shit instead of doing the hard stuff and fixing what’s broken. So this is what you get. Stop acting surprised.

27 Comments

Filed under gun control, gun violence, healthcare

Wait I Thought Socialized Medicine Was EVIL

Oh, the irony:

Troops provide free medical care in KY, TN

July 28, 2013 18:35 EDT

PADUCAH, Ky. (AP) — Licensed medical professionals serving in the military are on a mission to provide free medical care to residents in western Kentucky and Tennessee.

The Paducah Sun reports (http://bit.ly/15ppIjQ ) that a program called Innovative Readiness Training provides medical screening, non-emergency medical treatment, minor lab tests, optometry exams and free glasses.

Services also include prescription assistance services, educational information and dental exams.

The program wrapped up a deployment in Martin, Tenn., on July 17. More than 3,200 patients received services ranging from general health and optical care to oral care in Martin.

The program will begin taking patients Aug. 5 in Mayfield, Ky. The mission also will visit Hayti, Mo., Dyersburg, Tenn., and Blytheville, Ark.

The mission is part of a partnership with the Delta Regional Authority and the Department of Defense.

First of all, yay. This service is really needed in this part of the country, so good on them.

Second of all, if you’re out there waving misspelled signs about the evils of socialized medicine while cheering free healthcare provided by the most socialized agency of the U.S. government then I have a cup of STFU with your name on it. Seriously, y’all: yesterday at the grocery store I saw a car plastered with Tea Party bumper stickers (“Don’t Tread On Me,” “Liberty And Freedom!,” “End Socialism,” “Abolish The IRS,” etc. etc. along with a lovely U.S. Army specialty license plate. I didn’t think it was possible for that much stupid to fit on the back of one vehicle.)

Thirdly, if this is your solution to the nation’s healthcare crisis, then you are out of ideas and need to get to the back of the line and shut up.

Fourthly, if you can’t at least admit that “the best healthcare system in the world” wouldn’t have stuff like this going on somewhere every weekend, then you shouldn’t be crafting healthcare policy:

Sampson was one of an estimated 3,000 uninsured or under insured patients who lined up for hours — even days — to receive free medical, dental and eye care at the 14th annual Remote Area Medical clinic at the Wise County Fairgrounds in far Southwest Virginia.

The three-day event draws thousands every year from the coalfields of Appalachia for charity health care and is staffed by a small army of nearly 2,000 volunteers.

Sampson, 47, from Hiltons , arrived Saturday with her boyfriend, his son and a friend and slept overnight in a compact Kia Sephia so they could be seen Sunday. They waited in line more than eight hours Saturday just to wake up and be back at 5 a.m. Sunday.

The best healthcare in the world ain’t worth a fart in the breeze if the people who need it can’t access it. And there is no way on earth you can convince me that a compassionate, “Christian” nation would treat its sick and poor this way.

This is the sign of a broken system, not a functioning one. I read stories like this and I know I’m supposed to get the warm fuzzies, aww ain’t it sweet this medical student is volunteering his time! Yes, it’s sweet, good for him, good for all of them. Thank God for them. But dammit, people! He shouldn’t have to!

It shouldn’t have to be this way!

Get a damn clue.

15 Comments

Filed under healthcare, Pentagon

Anger Issues

This video clip has already gone viral so you’ve probably seen it, but in case you missed it: I bring you the face of our modern, pro-gun conservative movement. Filled with inchoate rage at their cultural irrelevance, unleashing a testosterone-fueled fury with firearms because we all know that’s what the need for this firepower is really all about: not to protect home and hearth or even to bring down a deer, but to release the stress that comes from constantly having that amygdala tweaked by those who profit handsomely from the chaos they create (Rush, I’m looking at you, buddy).

This is not your typical “responsible gun owner,” of which I know many. Those people are not the ones who see tyranny in gun background checks. This is the face of the gun lobby. This is the “real America” of Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and Ted Nugent. The only thing scarier than seeing some rage-fueled gun loon get his rocks off firing an array of weapons is the knowledge that he’s the chief of police in some pissant Pennsyltucky town.

All of that firepower and all of that authority still cannot stem the rage of his cultural powerlessness.

Dude, take a pill. You’ve obviously got some serious problems, and “libtards” are not among them. You’re not a Second Amendment hero. You’re what the rest of America recoils in horror at.

Get some help.

7 Comments

Filed under gun control, gun violence, rants