Um, news media? If it wasn’t abundantly clear before that you clowns are the only ones who care about Sarah Palin, it should be now. Apparently the ridiculously-titled Sarah Palin fan flick “The Undefeated” opened last night in ultra-conservative Orange County, and no one showed up — and it was one of the only 10 screens nationwide bothering to show the film!
No one, of course, save the same clueless media types who have always been sniffing at her heels. I’m sorry but how ridiculous did The Atlantic’s Conor Friedersdorf feel sitting entirely alone in a movie theater watching a Palin fluffer? Pretty ridiculous, by the sound of it:
I hurried through the teenage hordes, bypassed a concession stand that sold 1,020 calories of soda for $5.25, and entered theater number 30, hoping I’d have ample time before the previews to talk to some people. But inside, the theater was empty. I sat there alone for 20 minutes, at which point an usher stuck his head in the door, gave me a quizzical smile, and said, “How come you’re not watching Harry Potter?” Then he left me by myself again, and without any good answer.
Look, most Americans don’t care about Sarah Palin. We don’t. The only reason she’s in the news is because you assclowns keep foisting her on us, and then you whine and cwy and tamp your widdew feet when she disses you and calls you “lame.” Hey, she’s right, you are lame!
Look, you want to cover Sarah Palin? Here’s an idea: Why don’t you cover the fact that SarahPAC spent tens of thousands of dollars on what she repeatedly described as her “family vacation”?
Meanwhile, the treasurer of SarahPAC gloats that they “received more than 36,700 contributions from over 24,000 contributors.” Um.. okay, and that money went to pay for the Palin family vacation? Are these people fools? Is Palin lying? How is this not the absolute definition of a con job? Start a PAC, collect money from idiots, spend money on yourself. Hello? Hey, Mr. Beale and I would love to go back to Italy next year. Maybe I can get some fools to pay for it with my PAC!
Maybe Stephen Colbert is on to something here.
And yes, I’m being a little unfair, there’s been some mention of this in the media as my links attest. But nothing has reached the fever pitch of the “will she or won’t she” question, which is about all the news media seems to care about, though no one else gives a shit.
Just yesterday our local NewsChannel5 morning newsbot Steve Hayslip teased a “big announcement from Sarah Palin, details after the break!” You know what the big announcement was? That she may (or may not) announce whether she’s running for president in August. Or maybe September.
Or maybe not!
I mean seriously, it’s reached a stage where I’m starting to wonder if Sarah Palin isn’t a satirical character created for the sole purpose of poking fun at our news media. Yes, exactly like Stephen Colbert.