Famous Last Words: “It Doesn’t Taste Great”

I’m sure everyone is bored with my trip pictures so I thought I’d throw up this item about Fox weatherman Tucker Barnes, who unknowingly got buried in raw sewage while doing the obligatory “hey it’s a hurricane, I think I’ll stand outside in it” story.

I’m trying really hard to tamp down the schadenfreude here but I just can’t. I’m sorry, I’m just not that nice a person.

It’s not that Barnes works for a Fox affiliate (okay, well maybe that’s part of it). Mostly it’s that I find there is nothing stupider than weather “news.” I hate those meaningless Doppler radar color blobs swirling over Bumfug, Tennessee, that the Nashville news stations always preempt regular programming to show us. I think pictures of national news reporters in rain slickers getting buffeted by 80 mph winds to “show” us what a storm looks like are equally stupid.

I think y’all are idiots. People don’t need to see a red splotch from which they are supposed to glean that a storm is coming. If there’s a tornado in a remote section of the WSMV viewing area, then by all means tell people that but please do it on a crawl or a split screen or on a commercial break so those of us not in East Jesus can still watch the regular programming. And sorry you got swamped with raw sewage, Tucker Barnes, but if you don’t have the sense God gave a turnip to get out of the weather, well, serves you right. Because really, at this point these images tell us nothing. So get out of the rain, have some soup, and oh, you might want to get a tetanus shot.

Without further ado (video at the link):

“I don’t know what it is, it has a sort of sandy consistency,” Barnes told Fox’s New York viewers, covered head to tow in what looked like frothy pancake batter.

“It doesn’t taste great,” he said.

Back in his warm and dry station, the MyFoxNY anchor mused, “We’ve never seen anything like it.”

Barnes, struggling to hold onto a boardwalk bench, said he hadn’t either.

“Our chief meterologist back at the station said that it’s some sort of organic matter. I guess it’s plankton or something mixed in with sand and salt,” he said.

“I can tell you first hand that it doesn’t smell great. It feels kind of soapy.”

“Be careful with that weird stuff, okay?” the anchor told him as the WTTG-TV reporter signed off. “That is a bizarre wild substance that is about to bury you.”

MyFoxNY reported later that the mystery foam was raw sewage pouring into the sea and being whipped into a froth by the hurricane’s winds.


Filed under media, Media, weather

8 responses to “Famous Last Words: “It Doesn’t Taste Great”

  1. “…but please do it on a crawl …”

    oh, yes! a crawler at the bottom of the screen is on my wish-list.

    “pictures of national news reporters in rain slickers getting buffeted by 80 mph winds to “show” us what a storm looks like are equally stupid.”

    when they were here in memphis during The Great Flood, they proved they could make drama if there wasn’t some ready to hand. while the rest of us were eating lunch downtown & having no trouble getting around, they were wading out into the river to get pics of themselves in their new waders. not that we didn’t get high water, mind you, but sheesh! the rest of the country thought the river had swept away the entire city.

  2. “pictures of national news reporters in rain slickers getting buffeted by 80 mph winds

    Some of us call it “hilarious”.

    Also, “The only time these overpaid walking hairdos ever exerted any actual effort in procuring their overstuffed, unjustified paychecks.”

  3. Proud Socialist

    All throughout Hurricane/Trop Storm Irene, the public safety people are begging citizens to leave the coastal areas at risk and head for higher ground. So who does the media focus 90% of their coverage on – the saps who remain on the barrier islands, idiots standing on the beaches, and die-hards waiting to be washed away as they walk down the flooded streets.

    Negative reinforcement at its best. Don’t talk to the smart folks who stayed at Motel 6, give the morons their 15min of fame.

    It was a long evolutionary climb up for the human race but the drop back down is gonna be spectacular.

  4. SoBe –

    This was SO not on my need to know list.

    Please – if this is the alternative – more train roulette, taxi roulette, midnight horseback riding roulette . . .


  5. I think the biggest reason we are treated to long-running displays of Lisa Patten and the rest of the weather people and their constant “Hohenwald, you’re under the gun” commentary is that the local stations are required by Federal law as a part of their “community service” responsibilities part of their broadcast license to preempt programming when weather issues like tornadoes and hurricanes occur, he said in a really long sentence.

    • Shorter Jim Voorhies:

      “Blame the gummint!”


      I’m not sure they are supposed to pre-empt programming for weather, I think it’s a more broad “emergency” thing. They do it for ratings, that’s what my local TV contacts have told me. When weather breaks people tune into the news. At least they did until Twitter. During the Nashville floods when all we got were Doppler radar color blobs, we gave up on the news and tuned in to Twitter where people were posting actual YouTube videos of the waters, news information on roads to avoid, etc. The TV news was absolutely, embarassingly useless in that emergency.

      The TV stations invested money in their fancy toys and they want to show them off. They really are wasting our time, though. These fancy toys should be tools for THEM to use to find out where weather is happening. It’s not so useful for us.

  6. they definitely do it for ratings. Up here, when the first hard snowstorm hits, the local stations go nearly non-stop on “how bad is it going to be?” and “don’t go out unless you have to”. Where weather is normally 1/3 of the normal newscast, it becomes 2/3. It gets the eyeballs, and the stations chase them with everything they’ve got.

    It gets so bad, that when my son was about four, we were going to leave for daycare, and he began crying at the front door. When I finally was able to get him to tell me what was wrong, it turned out that he had seen some of the early morning non-stop blizzard fapping on the tv, and had gotten the impression that walking outside was going to result in us being hurt if not killed.

    Fucking bad weather fetishists. One gets blown over in a wind or a mouthful of shit, I laugh.