This Should Solve Everything

The elites are getting their own version of Facebook, an invitation-only social network targeted to the “right” people:

Ranadivé is in Davos this week to unveil Toplink (formerly called TopCom), his invite-only social network for the world’s richest and most powerful people.

He envisions it as a tool to “unlock the collective wisdom” of the world’s best and brightest.
“You can bring the right people and the right information together to solve problems, such as the financial crisis, pandemics and food shortages,” he said.

Users who are privy to the network will be able to hold group video conferences, ask questions and discuss ways to solve the world’s most significant issues.

Wow, this is terrific news. Surely the only reason the world’s best and brightest haven’t heretofore solved global problems like pandemics and financial crises is because there haven’t been enough opportunities for them to gather away from the hoi polloi.

Yay. We’re saved.

/sarcasm

And I didn’t know this but, apparently the global elites — people like Bill Gates, in fact — are akin to your mother in law or elderly aunt, who still can’t figure out which icon thingie to click on to print out an e-mail. They got the young’uns to beta test the thing, and the results have been simply smashing, my good man; really top-shelf:

The world leaders won’t be getting the first look, though. That honor went to a group called the “Global Shapers” four months ago.

Global Shapers are defined by the World Economic Forum as people under the age of 30 who are making a significant impact in their community.

David Aikman, a senior director at the World Economic Forum, was one of the few people to use Toplink since its unofficial roll-out four months ago and said the Global Shapers group had already leveraged the power of the platform.

“One of the guys posted a poll about blood donation,” Aikman said. “The results that followed encouraged the city hub in Monterrey, Mexico, to host a blood drive.”

That’s what I call leveraging power! Take that, you Egyptian revolution and Arab spring! Their poll encouraged Monterrey, Mexico to host a blood drive! Those global pandemics will be history any day now.

Seriously, call me a radical but I find it a little presumptious to assume “the world’s best and brightest” are going to be hobnobbing at Davos. Trying to think if Gandhi would have been there. Or Martin Luther King Jr. Or Mother Theresa. Or Jesus.

Whatever.

It was just a couple days ago that I wrote about the alternate reality our 1%ers have created for themselves. Don’t know why anyone would be surprised that they’d create their own social network too. Just another way for the plutocrats to pretend they’re part of the world while really separating themselves from it.

It’s gonna be hilarious when Anonymous hacks this thing, though. Bwaahaaahaaa.

7 Comments

Filed under social good

7 responses to “This Should Solve Everything

  1. Janiah Hoff

    LOL. Love your sarcasm.

  2. “Billionaires Occupy Davos as 0.01% Bemoan Economic Inequalities.” Even Bloomberg is mocking those clowns. If they all caught the clap it wouldn’t be statistically significant enough for the CDC to report.

  3. Mike G

    “the world’s best and brightest”

    From what I’ve seen of “high fliers” in the corporate world, the people at the top are better described as the “most ruthless, least inhibited by ethics or empathy, best political game-players and most privileged personal connections.”
    Exhibit A: GW Bush.
    Exhibit B: Willard Romney.

  4. efgoldman

    Hey y’all – This is OT, but I was afraid it would get lost if I posted in the TN legislator thread from yesterday. Wanted to give you the first crack at posting, maybe, at BJ, since they’re ::ahem:: your people (Don’t hit me!).

    http://www.salon.com/2011/01/13/founding_fathers_tennessee_tea_party/

    • “My people” ahem, yeah good one, thanks!🙂

      I don’t know what the deal is with that story. It’s over a year old. Some education blog posted it and I checked into it on Monday, I saw the source story in the Commercial Appeal was dated 2011 not 2012. I guess the blogger didn’t realize the “list of demands” the TN Tea Party submitted was from 2011, after our new Republican governor came into office and they were trying to flex their muscle. I was surprised that the thing went viral. ThinkProgress did a thing on it AGAIN; they wrote about it the first time in 2011, too. All of a sudden it’s everywhere, I’m not sure it got that much attention the first time. But I’m not posting on it because it’s a year old and I think it’s stupid, getting people riled up for no reason. The Tennessee Tea Party disbanded back in the fall. It’s safe to say we’re not going to be getting new Tea Party approved text books here.

  5. It’s so cool it doesn’t have “Like” buttons. They say “Appreciate.” Negative comments hardly ever get worse than “Your mother shops at Macy’s.”

  6. ThresherK

    Wasn’t something like this on WWDTM a few years ago?

    At any rate, I often mock the TV coverage of fundraisers–say, 5k races—by racing to recite that shopworn TV newser hook, “And the big winner today was charity” before the newsreader says it.

    Well, the big winner today was not charity. Give me a good old American game of donkey basketball or cow pie bingo any day.