Scary Vagina


Gosh I hate it when I’m right about this stuff.


Yes, and no:

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) — Once the word “transvaginal” became a big joke on “Saturday Night Live” and “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart,” it wasn’t long before Virginia’s conservative Republicans realized they had overreached on abortion.

Gov. Bob McDonnell and GOP state lawmakers Wednesday abandoned a bill requiring women to undergo an intrusive type of sonogram before an abortion — an abrupt reversal that demonstrated the power of political satire and illustrated again how combustible the issue of women’s reproductive health has become over the past few weeks.

“You never want to get on the wrong side of popular culture,” said Steve Jarding, a professor at Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Government and a Democratic consultant who has run campaigns in Virginia. He added: “When people are laughing at you, you know you’ve gone too far.”

First of all, conservatives’ entire reason for existence is to be on the wrong side of pop culture. Everything they do, from slamming “liberal Hollywood values” to their state and national legislative efforts, is because conservatism by its very definition is a knee-jerk reaction to pop culture. Every single thing the culture has embraced — being educated, protecting the environment, providing for the needy, birth control fer crissakes — has in recent years been labeled elitist, liberal, and therefore, bad. American conservatives have valiantly fought against pop culture since it was invented, since the first parent railed against that evil rock and roll music, the PTA held its first book barbecue, and the first school principal initiated a dress code.

But I do agree that mockery works and words have power. I really believe what sunk the Virginia ultrasound legislation was the word “transvaginal.” The word “vagina,” as Eve Ensler well knows, is a cultural sand pit. It’s a veritable, um, booby trap of icky associations and images of the nasty. So no, it’s not that Jon Stewart and Saturday Night Live mocked Virginia conservatives: let’s face it, those folks have been mocking conservatives for years. No, it’s that they did so by screaming the word “TRANSVAGINAL” at the top of their lungs.

And here is how we win, liberals. The left is not nearly as good at political linguistics as is the right; we don’t have a Frank Luntz. So listen to Southern Beale: Attach the word “vagina” to anything conservatives want to do and I guarantee they will run for the hills like the scared little babies they are. It’s not a war on women’s reproductive freedom, it’s a war on VAGINAS. You’re not defunding Planned Parenthood, you’re threatening VAGINAS. And hell, why stop there? It’s not Social Security, it’s VAGINA Security. Global Vagina Warming. National Vagina Security. Why the hell not.

Years ago someone in the lefty blogosphere coined the phrase “SCARY VAGINA” — it might have been Atrios, heck he’s the source of pretty much every blog meme we have. It’s a euphemism for politicians’ fear of women in power, and it ironically started as an attack on Democrats who were too afraid of the abortion issue to stand up for women’s reproductive rights. But it grew to encompass conservatives when they developed Hillary Clinton Derangement Syndrome.

So now I ask you this: who’s afraid of Vagina Wolf? Democrats have learned a powerful lesson here: stop worrying and love the vagina. Because Republicans haven’t, and they won’t.


Filed under conservatives, pop culture, women's rights

11 responses to “Scary Vagina

  1. Yes. All this crap just makes me, a female mother, etc, absolutely sick and crazy. Ed Schultz just showed a video of the ass hole, Rep Albo, the one that proposed this ‘trans-v’ bill, telling a long and sick and juvenile about his not being allowed sex from the wife because on his HUGE screen appeared his face and the words Trans-vaginal external/internal ultrasound. The coward could not bring himself to even say the WORD ‘vagina’. I doubt he even knows WHAT he is talking about, nor does he know this procedure is RAPE that he wants to force on women without their consent, which they would have to pay for! WHERE THE HELL IS HIS MOTHER? He sounded like a snickering sarcastic juvenile, age 12. Here in TN we have our own version, but even Stacey has not gone this far!

    • I just read about that on Gawker, har de har he couldn’t get laid ya know what? Aristophanes wrote a wonderful play waaay back in 411 BC about the women of Greece who withheld sex from their men to get them to stop being idiots, it’s called Lysistrata and Dave Albo might want to read it.

      Oh what am I thinking. Reading + classical literature + Republicans? Does not compute.

      • No, not funny. If his wife is smart, she will take their baby and leave this slug alone with his “huge 46″ screen TV and his red wine” so he can get off watching himself on TV.
        As a country who used to care about women, we used to try and protect young girls who suffer genital mutilation as a ‘religious practice” in Africa. These ignorant hate-filled bastards here in ‘religious Amerikka’ are 10 times worse. This “trans-vaginal BS is RAPE, using medical instruments” and any ‘doctor” who falls for this attacks on a woman and her body SHOULD be charged with attempted murder. I am so proud of women and girls in Virginia. They should inspire those of us in other states to STAND UP and vote these creeps out of office here if exposed to bills like this. Maybe we should just castrate the bastards. We don’t want their babies anyway.

  2. chrome agnomen

    conservatives may not, but i like the sound of global vagina warming.

  3. I thought it was great when Rachel Maddow had a segment on this story and called it the Virginia Monologues.


  4. Isn’t there a law on the books in most states that makes “rape with an object” (or words to that effect) a felony? Abner Louima has some experience in that regard, he might be able to offer someone like Alba a demo with a broom handle–or a fence post.

  5. John Weiss

    Sticking anything up a lady’s hoo-hoo without her consent is rape. On the other hand, how could a knuckle-draggier understand this? I hate those people and I love women. Just ask my wife.

    Were they raised wrong? Or is this a genetic anomalie? Perhaps they should be, to coin a phrase, neo Spartans?

  6. Vaginapedia.

    “Lysistrata.” 411 B.C. Aristophanes.
    “… women of Greece withheld sex from their men to get them to stop being idiots…”

    This, readers, is literature.