It’s All Fun & Games Until Someone Gets Elected

Rick Womick Will Save You From Dastardly UN Goons Trying To Steal Your Stuff

Rutherford County Republican Rick Womick, last seen trying to purge Muslims from our military, has uncovered yet another threat to the republic called “Agenda 21.” But no fear, young patriots: Womick is on the case!

A resolution in the state legislature opposes what is depicted as an insidious United Nations scheme to take away citizens’ property rights through radical environmentalism.


The proposed resolution says that global political control is one of the intentions of the U.N. program and it is being covertly pushed into local communities through policies that incorporate words like “sustainable development,” “green” or “regional visioning.”

Noooo! Not “regional visioning”! What in the name of Soros could that mean? Tofu Tuesdays? Curbside recycling programs? High-speed rail? Even — gasp! — composting and community gardens?!


To the battlements, young Wolverines!

If you’re wondering where Womick got the crackpot idea that this stuff is part of a nefarious UN plot, well, read on:

Parts of the resolution word-for-word are found in a model Stop Agenda 21 bill that the John Birch Society offers on its website. The 54-year-old organization, which opposed the Civil Rights Act, fights efforts that include what it paints as a conspiracy under way to impose one-world government.

The resolution, which equates Agenda 21 with socialism and communism, endorses rejection of the program’s “radical policies” and “any grant monies attached to it.”

Rep. Rick Womick of Rutherford County, one of the resolution’s sponsors, said Tuesday that the U.N. created multiple political subdivisions and independent shadow organizations in a stealth move to work with towns and cities and undermine rights.

He said the “grandiose plan” is meant to stop economic growth and includes telling people they must, for instance, set aside wetlands or regulate against urban sprawl.

“It’s about taking property rights away from people,” said Womick, R-Rockvale. “People are fed up with government interfering with their lives.”

Oh, riiight. You know, don’t even get me started on the whole “government interfering with peoples’ lives” bullshit, because our legislators are perfectly happy to stick their noses into my business when it suits them: all that stuff about birth control and abortion and what people do in their bedrooms and who they do it with? Tennessee Republicans have no problems with any of that stuff, that’s freedom! But green initiatives? Communism!

The radical John Birch Society was founded to stop communism in 1958. You know what? Communism is dead. You guys won, woohoo, goodie for you. Now fold up your chairs, box up the mimeograph machine, and be sure to turn off the Bunn ’cause it’s time to go home. But no, these groups never die. They just start looking for new boogeymen so they can continue to fleece the gullible of their money. Fear sells and there’s always some asshole willing to buy.

And before you point your fingers and laugh at the rubes in Tennessee, read this Mother Jones article from last year, which tells of Agenda 21 paranoia spreading around Tea Party circles all across the country. Hate to break it to you, dear readers, but you’ve probably got some of this nonsense percolating through your state’s legislature, too.

I first got wind of the anti-UN tin-foil hatters back in the ’90s when I worked in the communications office at a federally-owned national recreation area. I happened to answer the phone when a guy at a low-wattage radio station I’d never heard of called. He wanted someone from the park to appear on his radio show to talk about how we’d ceded control of our site to the United Nations; he said the UN actually owned this park. Of course, we’d done no such thing.

Turns out this crazy idea stemmed from the fact that we had a unique ecosystem on site that had been included in the UN’s biosphere reserve program. All that meant was that we had been recognized for having a globally significant ecosystem and that wildlife biologists could study and share information with the international scientific community about it. But don’t tell that to conspiracy nuts like Henry Lamb, who see a UN goon squad behind every tree. Anyway, I laughed and told the guy we weren’t interested.

Yes, this stuff used to be relegated to the fringes of the AM radio dial and the mutterings of crazy people on downtown street corners. Now it’s been mainstreamed. How did the black helicopter crowd get so much influence and power? I blame an uneducated, fearful public who votes for uneducated, fearful politicians like Rick Womick. I blame a news media which treated the Teatards like the neatest thing since sliced bread, ignoring the Dirty Fucking Hippies who pointed out that the Tea Party was just warmed-over John Birch Society crackpots. Yeah, this stopped being funny when the idiots started getting elected to office.

Look, it is absolutely crazy to think sustainability initiatives are some kind of UN conspiracy. Here’s something else I don’t get: how come international cooperation under the guise of the United Nations is demonized as some kind of New World Order crap, but under the guise of economic forums like the G8 it’s perfectly fine?

And I mean, really? One World Order? Are you people serious? You can’t get the UN to agree on an order at Starbucks without three years’ worth of intensive negotiations. Do you seriously think this notoriously unwieldy and largely powerless group can take over the world? That’s not just delusional, it’s embarrassing.

And you know what else is embarrassing? That this crazy conspiracy has made it all the way into our state legislature.

I really don’t get what these people are thinking (or drinking .. or smoking). But they need to be laughed back into their secret hideouts. And they need to be replaced by sane leaders who live in the real world and get their information from fact-based sources, not WorldNet Daily and John Birch Society newsletters.


Filed under conspiracy theory, environment, Tennessee, TNGOP, United Nations

8 responses to “It’s All Fun & Games Until Someone Gets Elected

  1. Eykis

    I got in a an email war with this imbecile the other day – I saw the Agenda 21 stuff and wrote to him about it, he said he would “pray for me”, THEN, I Googled him and found out how stoopidly INSANE he is and went crazy on him. He was being a real smart-ass UNTIL I called him a racist redneck, then he went away………..gawd, what is wrong with Rutherford County voters?

  2. Yutsano

    So yet another conspiracy to take away their precious freedumbs. Freedumb being defined as their privilege to behave as racist old white jackasses. Someone needs to alert Ron Paul. He’d eat this shit up with gold spoon.

  3. “You know what? Communism is dead. You guys won, woohoo, goodie for you.”- Southern Beale

    I’m guessing DemoCommie and the Kibbutzim are gonna be disappointed to hear communism is dead.

  4. Southern Beale:

    Thinkgs like “Agenda 21” are attractive to the fucking loonz because there’s no chance that anyone they are fleecing has relatives or friends who work in gummint–aside from those like Womick, who are just as nutz as they are.

    It’s not dead, it’s merely pinin’ for the Kremlin!

  5. Communism is dead, even China looks more like Randian free market capitalists than America. Of course, China does have that strong, centralized government. Which is funny whenever right-wingers wax enthusiastic about how the Chinese are able to accomplish huge things so easily. I’d love to see them scream and howl if we followed their model. Sure a Chinese company can just come in and build a huge factory in 3 weeks but they do it because the Chinese government has the ability to come in and just steal everyone’s private property.

    People in this country are so fucking stupid.

  6. “Randy:

    It’s not dead, it’s merely pinin’ for the Kremlin!hat “-democommie.

    This made me laugh. Then it hit me. What Wall Street needs is a mummy.