Chris Christie Is Severely Conservative

Please stop telling me that Chris Christie isn’t sufficiently conservative because CPAC did not invite him to their little crapfest this year. I ain’t buying it.

This whole phony-baloney CPAC “snub” storyline is such an obvious piece of marketing bullshit. I know my readers are too smart to fall for it, but it amazes me that the political media has. Seriously, guys, how many times are you going to get played? Or maybe you just don’t care. Yeah, that has to be it. It’s all Kabuki, the media is dutifully playing their part, and we rubes in the sticks are supposed to eat it all up. Thanks for watching the previews, now get ready for the big show somewhere around 2015!

Americans have been played so many times by the endless deluge of political theater, I just don’t think it’s going to work. At least, it’s not going to work on me.

Look, the big problem every pundit and Republican “strategist” identified as sinking the Mitt Romney campaign was its failure to “define” their candidate early in the game. The big thing that sunk Romney, according to the experts, was that Obama “defined” Romney as an out-of-touch, super-wealthy, flip-flopping elitist. Hey, if the shoe fits, amiright?

So it’s just so obvious to me that the Republican establishment has identified Christie as their guy for 2016 and they’ve started “defining” him as the anti-Teanut, non-crazy Republican.

Look, Republicans figured out that the extremists that make up their base have hurt the party, so they’re tossing those folks under the bus, tricorn hat and all. Instead they’re going to offer up their straight-talking, outspoken, Real American, blue collar dude who will “reach across the aisle.” As proof that he’s not one of the foamy mouthed Neanderthals, look at how he’s been “snubbed” by CPAC! See!

Pfft. Except he wasn’t too liberal for CPAC last year, when he took to the podium and bragged to those same foamy-mouthed Neanderthals about what a dick he could be to Democrats, and how Obama is a scary big-government guy who is going to ruin the country for future generations. I found a copy of Christie’s 2012 CPAC speech on YouTube, it’s a bad video and you might want to just listen to the audio or else take some Dramamine capsules before you watch it:

Listen to him gloat about how he went in and made budget cuts by executive order, instead of negotiating with the Democratic legislature on a budget, because fuck yeah, that’s how Chris Christie rolls. That moment of non-compromise elicited vigorous cheers from the audience, because there’s nothing wingers don’t love like a fellow conservative bully. (And really, haven’t we already had one Little Napoleon in the White House in recent memory? Do we really need another?)

Christie is another union-hating, cheap labor, tax-cutting, de-regulating, pro-life, ex-Wall Street lobbyist, Reagan-worshipping Republican. Make no mistake, these people are all the same. Like our Bill Haslam, they may look reasonable, but they always revert to type. They’ll let the mouth-breathers and Bible-bangers have their way, if it suits their interests.

That’s why Christie vetoed New Jersey’s same-sex marriage bill last year. Noted Steven Goldstein, head of Garden State Equality:

“He won’t veto the bill because he’s anti-gay,” Goldstein said in a statement issued before the veto was issued Friday. “He’ll veto the bill because the 2016 South Carolina presidential primary electorate is anti-gay.”

Truer words were never spoken. But a funny thing happened between last February and this February: the American people overwhelmingly rejected the “legitimate rape” wing of the Republican Party and their “binders full of women.” The War On Women became a real thing, and nobody cares if a couple of gay guys get married anymore. So this CPAC “diss” is a carefully planned brand roll-out.

Remember when John McCain was all “mavericky”? And then quickly disintegrated into a flip-flopping Pander Bear? This is like that, but I don’t think Christie will pander. He’s too smart for that, plus he can bully his way into the Republican nomination, because did I mention how much Republicans love their pet bullies? I really don’t think he’ll have any problems with the Tea Party crowd, those guys are so over, and Christie will have all the Wall Street and Koch money he needs to buy the nomination.

This guy isn’t the people’s choice, he’s the establishment choice, the Wall Street choice, the choice of the plutocrats. And liberals better start mining the memory hole now before the thing is scrubbed clean.

Also, y’all have no idea how much it pisses me off that I had to add a “2016 Presidential Election” category with this post. Cripes, America. Get a new hobby.


Filed under 2016 Presidential Election, Chris Christie, CPAC, Republican Party

18 responses to “Chris Christie Is Severely Conservative

  1. Mary Wilson

    I totally agree, especially the part about McCain the Rebel! To say that I, you and I, do NOT trust ANY Republican covers it. Ole Haslam went to Nashville as a ‘self-described’ moderate mayor. Now today he is so bullied by the lunatics in our Legislature, he has to make decisions late in the Session and then announce any sane decision when it is too late for the crazies to over ride them. And now our public schools are being dessimated, our public tax dollars and our Federal Race to the top monies are being handed over to the greedy sham of the charter schools, some that have already folded…the voucher mess, and the ‘virtual school’ faux education…with NO accountability, no real regulations, and children from low income families are being cheated…because Haslam can’t say no.

  2. Some good points. I would say Christie is severely Republican. However, I would not say he is severely conservative.

  3. I hear you, loud and clear! ! I notice that , even on MSNBC.. they lionize him, ad nauseum. I ;m like, guys, what are you doing? I stll remember the nasty things he said before.

  4. democommie

    “Some good points. I would say Christie is severely Republican. However, I would not say he is severely conservative.”

    Spoken like a true paulinist moron.

  5. democommie

    “Ron Paul is anti-war and pro-pot and that’s about it.”

    I wouldn’t count on the immutability of either of those positions.

    Ron Paul is an opportunist, first, last and always. Whatever he does he does for Ron Paul. He gives not a fuck about humanity.

    • “Ron Paul is an opportunist, first, last and always. Whatever he does he does for Ron Paul. He gives not a fuck about humanity.”
      Truest words I’ve seen typed on a blog in a LONG time.
      I mean Ron Jeremy long. lol

      Seriously though, I have a feeling that you could also replace “Ron Paul” in that statement with most any other politician and it would remain equally true.

  6. democommie

    “Show us one case where an automatic weapon was used in a school shooting. The laws around such weapons are very restrictive– You have to get a federal license to even possess one.”

    Feel free to do so. The Paul’s are scumbag hucksters who happen to be M.D.’s, not the other way around.

    So, you’re telling me you don’t like the Pauls, that liberals are anathema and that there are no sufficiently conservative politicians in the U.S.? Wow. I think you need to look at moving, perhaps to Putin’s Russia or Somalia, where conservatism IS the rule.

  7. democommie

    Sometimes I hate cut’n’paste.


    “Seriously though, I have a feeling that you could also replace “Ron Paul” in that statement with most any other politician and it would remain equally true.”

    is what should have been at the beginning of my last comment.

  8. conservatism =/= fascism
    conservatism =/= statism

    Oh, and if you are still confused, I am a Constitutional Libertarian.

  9. democommie

    “conservatism =/= fascism
    conservatism =/= statism

    Oh, and if you are still confused, I am a Constitutional Libertarian.”

    I am not in the least confused. I’m a realist, you’re a fantasist.

    Here’s a hint; by your descriptors there are few if any “conservatives” in the GOP. They pretend to conservatism but are actually RWA acolytes who can’t wait to enforce their version of utopia on the rest of MurKKKa.

    What the majority of librertarians (so called) in public life stand for is property rights. That’s it.

    So, it’s pretty apparent that you don’t support any politicians, or at least none that you are willing to admit to supporting.

    You say you’re a “Constitutional Libertarian”. Why not tell me what, exactly, that means. I have a pretty fair idea but I’d like to hear from you just what sort of role the federal gummint has in the public sphere.

  10. democommie

    Southern Beale:

    That’s it? Gary Johnson is liked by a number of libertardlikans because he’s like, libertardlikan. IOW, he doesn’t really stand for much of anything.

    Being for Gary Johnson is as likely to be a winning strategy as being for Dennis Kucinich.

    • Well, principles, etc. etc. I’ll let Usagi speak for himself. I just remember that before the election he was over here telling us that’s who he was supporting.

      Most Libertarians I know don’t stand for anything. The vast majority of them have no clue what a Libertarian really is. They just know that they don’t like the Dems and the Republicans have the stench of merde all over their party so what’s left? A true Libertarian wouldn’t be able to justify legislating women’s bodies while mouthing their “small gummint” BS.

  11. democommie

    Southern Beale:

    I completely agree with your analysis. Which is the reason for my asking liebertardlicans WHO they support. When someone tells me that they belieive in freedomishness and gummint only doin’ what’s constitutional and such, I like them to point to someone whom they support who actually embodies those values. In most cases, the silence is deafening.

  12. dc,
    as opposed to monopolizing Beale’s comments section, I’ll let the ever-evolving work of a blog I write to speak for my beliefs.

  13. democommie

    Good idea, Usagi:

    Keep it all to yourself; don’t be castin’ your wonderful New(r)age KKKonservatistical pearlz in front of the swine over here at Southern Beale’s. Stay at your blog and I promise not to make fun of you, there. It’s a very easy thing for me to do. I don’t even have to unbookmark.

    You keep coming over here and making stupid, simplistic (yet snarky, which I admit, takes some doing) and, often, baseless, assertions about the lack of genuine conservativeatism in MurKKKan politics. Yet when asked to provide a list of the few that are there, whom you can support, you draw a blank? Yeah, well, that’s not gonna scan as true.

    You’re right about there not being a lot of genuine conservatives in the GOP, they’re nearly all fundie asshats, Gunz’R’Uz lunaticz and reactionary RWA’s. I think that where the Liebertardlicans used to be reptilicans who liked pot and pornos; I’m beginning to see a significant migration from the old GOP to the ranks of those millions of old GOPers who aren’t completely fucking delusional.

    So, who knows, pretty soon we might have three parties:

    The center right dems. The further right liebertarians and the down the rabbit hole, through the looking glass, batshit KKKrazzee Teatardlicans. Enjoy your playdates with the ex-GOPers who joined your club.