Don’t Know Much About Biology

I can’t imagine why Republicans have a woman problem with idiots like Erick Erickson spouting insane shit like this:

“I’m so used to liberals telling conservatives that they’re anti-science. But liberals who defend this and say it is not a bad thing are very anti-science. When you look at biology — when you look at the natural world — the roles of a male and a female in society and in other animals, the male typically is the dominant role. The female, it’s not antithesis, or it’s not competing, it’s a complimentary role.”

Actually, no. Not even close, idiot.

Erickson, who shared these pearls of wisdom in an all-male panel discussion about working women on Loud Obbs, is showing his remarkable ignorance of science, evolution, and the natural world — not to mention history and anthropology. He’s pathetically trying to shoe-horn his right-wing ideology exactly where it doesn’t belong, and he’s making an ass of himself. May I suggest another place to put that ideology? Some place dark, moist, and not all that pleasant-smelling?

The one thing any observer of the natural world knows is that the animal kingdom is marked by its diversity. Boy Biologist Erick’s first mistake was to open his yap and say “typically” in regards to the natural world. Because nothing is typical in nature. No such thing, Boy Biologist. But Erick seems to think because male homo sapiens are physically larger than females, every species is that way. His second mistake was to equate size with dominance — something else not borne out in the natural world. Sometimes, but not always. Especially not when dealing with species such as humans, with our ginormous brains and all.

Let’s start at the bottom of the food chain for an example. That would be the male spider, frequent post-coital meal of the larger, more dominant female spider. Or let’s look at fish. Did you know that all clownfish are born male? And the most dominant male clownfish becomes female? True story. It appears a male clownfish’s highest aspiration is to be female. Suckit, Boy Biologist.

The animal kingdom is filled with examples of female-dominant sexual dimorphism. And in many animal species, it’s not just size which matters: it’s social order and behavior, too. Look at hyenas, where females have all the power — and it’s inherited, regardless of other hyenas’ age or size. Even in primates, female dominance is prevalent.

But silly me. Boy Biologist Erickson and his friends at Loud Obbs don’t care about science. They are anti-science, we all know it. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t keep opening their yaps and letting all the stupid fall out.

Here’s some science for you guys. This one comes from the Southern Beale archive:

You know, I can’t imagine what it’s like to have my reproductive organs flying around loose in the breeze where any predator, fungus or hunting accident could come along and snip it all off, making me evolutionarily irrelevant. That’s a hard burden to bear, a not-so-subtle reminder of how biologically dispensable you guys really are. There are always more males out there willing to spread their seed; it’s the female of the species who carries the burden of the species’ survival. We’re the ones who not only bear the young but care for them as well.

This isn’t me talking feminist claptrap, this is basic evolutionary biology: the bird that’s going to get snapped up at the feeder is the bright red highly visible male cardinal, not the drab brown female blessed with a natural protective camouflage. She’s more important in the grand scheme, which is why she’s been given this protection. God I know that chaps y’all’s ass big time.

It’s the battle of the sexes, played out over thousands of years. Men are bigger and stronger and take down a mammoth but for all your bravado it’s we women who keep the species going. And you’re just dying to control that, too.

Sorry, fellas. I love you, I really do. But when it comes to science and stuff? You’re sorta disposable. That doesn’t mean I’m ready to retire to Amazonia, I’m just pointing out what we science-y types learned in evolutionary biology 101.

So yes, Republicans, do tell me how the war on women is all in our pretty heads and how you’re not anti-science. I’m all ears.