Rep. Chuck Fleischmann, American Moran

Been a while since we’ve had one of these:

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Rep. Chuck Fleischmann’s welcome message to the leader of the free world took Obama to task for policies that Fleischmann’s called “burdensome” to Chattanooga-area businesses.

The congressman praised Tennessee’s pro-growth, right-to-work policies and criticized the increasingly unpopular health care reform that Republicans call Obamacare.

His missive also added two new verbs to the English lexicon, while inventing an adjective and misspelling the name of one of the original 13 colonies.

“We appreciate that you are in town celebrting [sic] the businesses that have come to Tennessee thanks to our low regulation, low taxes and right-to-work policies,” Fleischmann wrote in his faux postcard. “While here, I invite you to visist [sic] a few historial [sic], natural attractions like Ruby Falls, a true Chattanooga treasure.”

The card was addressed to the president at “1600 Pensylvannia [sic] Avenue.”

Sigh. I might also add they picked the most unreadable font known to graphics.

Anyway, thanks for keeping the stereotype of Tennesseans alive, Congressman!

Also? Unemployment in Tennessee increased for the sixth straight month and is higher than the national average, while personal income growth here slipped. So no, we’re not all that.

Take your little misspelled Frank Luntz-crafted talking point and shove it, Chuck.

Oh, and one more thing: Ruby Falls is a waterfall in a dark cave. You go in and it’s completely dark and they play the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey. When the music gets to the “ta-da” part, a red light goes on, illuminating the falls. It is cheesy as hell, one of those 1950s-style roadside attractions, like a jackalope-in-a-jar. Tennessee has a lot of treasures but this ain’t one of them.

(Original American Moran here; other American Morans here.)

20 Comments

Filed under American Morans, Tennessee, Tennessee visit

20 responses to “Rep. Chuck Fleischmann, American Moran

  1. GregH

    “Moran?” DOOOHH!!!!!

  2. Someone is not familiar with all intertubes traditions, clearly.

  3. Mr Stagger Lee

    According to his background, he graduated with a Magna Cum Laude honors and was a Phi Beta Kappa from the University of Illinois, he is basically a carpetbagger from New York City, building a career by appealing to the prejudices of the hicks, like Rand Paul, Ted Cruz and other teabaggers.

  4. greennotGreen

    For a kitsch attraction, I always recommend Rock City, but to mention Ruby Falls in the city that’s home to the Tennessee Aquarium! That guy *is* a moran! (Or he’s a partial owner of Ruby Falls.)

    • Yeah no joke! The Tennessee Aquarium is AMAZING and its exhibits are devoted to the Tennessee River. How he could ignore that in favor of Ruby Falls is insulting.

  5. Don’t mean to be over the top, but it really should be “morons”, instead of “morans”.

  6. Kyle

    …the businesses that have come to Tennessee thanks to our low regulation, low taxes… low education standards and abysmal spelling.

  7. Hey, at least you don’t have a Congressman named Moran…
    (Jerry Moran, no less…)

  8. Daedelus

    Ought to be called Ruby Spigot since they turn it on and off. The falls dried up years ago, now it’s all pipes and pumps.

  9. C B

    Confession is good for the soul. There was more than one Mo-ran’ family in the small town I grew up in, and their children and I were of an age. So, every single time I see a reference or link to that idgit meme, I pronounce it in my head the way I learned it. I had to look to be sure. I feel so much better now, knowing that others amongst us didn’t get it at first, either.🙂