Laughing at these folks would make me a truly horrible person so instead I’ll just remind this family that God works in really mysterious ways and also has one helluva sense of humor:
PHOENIX — A northern Arizona family that was lost at sea for weeks in an ill-fated attempt to leave the U.S. over what they consider government interference in religion will fly back home Sunday.
Hannah Gastonguay, 26, said Saturday that she and her husband “decided to take a leap of faith and see where God led us” when they took their two small children and her father-in-law and set sail from San Diego for the tiny island nation of Kiribati in May.
But just weeks into their journey, the Gastonguays hit a series of storms that damaged their small boat, leaving them adrift for weeks, unable to make progress. They were eventually picked up by a Venezuelan fishing vessel, transferred to a Japanese cargo ship and taken to Chile where they are resting in a hotel in the port city of San Antonio.
Their flights home were arranged by U.S. Embassy officials, Gastonguay said. The U.S. State Department was not immediately available for comment.
Oh, the irony. I’ll assume the U.S. State Department demanded the Gastonguay family renounce Jesus and become Pastafarians before lifting a finger to help them? No? Huh.
These folks have some pretty whacked ideas:
Hannah Gastonguay said her family was fed up with government control in the U.S. As Christians they don’t believe in “abortion, homosexuality, in the state-controlled church,” she said.
U.S. “churches aren’t their own,” Gastonguay said, suggesting that government regulation interfered with religious independence.
Among other differences, she said they had a problem with being “forced to pay these taxes that pay for abortions we don’t agree with.”
The Gastonguays weren’t members of any church, and Hannah Gastonguay said their faith came from reading the Bible and through prayer.
“The Bible is pretty clear,” she said.
We have a state-controlled church? Taxes pay for abortions? Since when?
You know, is this an awesome country or what? You can come up with all sorts of crackpot, crazy ideas that have no basis in reality about how America has failed you and this country will still bail your butt out when you get into trouble.
Meanwhile, y’all picked Kiribati? For realz? Y’all don’t read much, do you?
Running out of options, and water, a nation’s leader enters an end game against climate change. The President of Kiribati urges an orderly evacuation — “migration with dignity”.
So let’s get this straight: some clueless Christians suffering imaginary “persecution” decide to escape to a country that is literally going under water due to climate change and will soon no longer exist. And on their way they hit storm after storm, have to be rescued, and are forced to turn to the country they think oppresses them for help.
God is shouting at you people and her message is Get a fucking clue!
(h/t, friend of the blog Leslie P.)