And They Wonder Why We Laugh At Them

Trying hard not to laugh at the pants-wetters at Open Carry Texas who strutted around the state capitol in Austin over the weekend with their guns so they could whine about how THE MAN was hassling them because of their long hair big guns and nobody loves them or the Second Amendment or appreciates their service to humanity by walking around armed. Meanwhile they are apparently terrified of a homeless man with a garden trowel.

I mean, my first thought was that this was a parody. But it appears to be real. SO, kiddos, read, laugh, weep, etc.:

I was approached by another participant at the rally and was informed that there was a homeless man (who seemed to be mentally unstable) walking around waving what appeared to be a knife in people’s faces. While walking back and forth in front of our merchandise stand, he had somehow obtained one of our OCT hats that we hadn’t sold to him. I was told that he was heading up towards the main rally on the south steps of the Capitol. The potential weapon in his hand had a serrated edge on one side.

I told a couple of the closest DPS troopers (they stayed about 30 feet or so away from us) that we had a potential problem. I started approaching them to describe the man and why he might be a threat. I had forgotten that I had my AR-15 on my back (I was wearing body armor and couldn’t feel the rifle against my body), and instead of listening to me tell them there was a potential threat, several troopers began yelling at me to take my weapon off of the capitol grounds. Bear in mind, every single one of those troopers knows who I am, just as they know who Terry is.

You had forgotten you had an AR-15 on your back because of your body armor? Dude. You’re an idiot. But I digress:

I apologized and walked the less than ten feet back inside of the gate. I then asked them to come closer because we had an issue, but they chose to just stand there staring at me. I told them there was a potentially dangerous man at the rally, and that they needed to find him before someone got hurt. They continued to gawk at me. I finally demanded that they find someone else to come speak with me, and that every second they were wasting ignoring my warning, someone could be in danger. One of the troopers finally began be-bopping north towards another group of troopers who appeared to be supervisors.

I couldn’t stand it any longer. I handed a friend my rifle and went in yelling about the lack of urgency displayed by these troopers who were supposed to be keeping us safe, but were ignoring my warning solely because they don’t like us, particularly me. I quickly walked past them and yelled that if anyone was hurt, THEY all have blood on their hands!

A few of us got to the rally on the south steps and began frantically scanning the crowd. We were looking for a man with a camouflage OCT hat, jeans, and not wearing shoes. By this time, a DPS trooper decided I probably wasn’t exaggerating and asked who we were looking for, joining in the hunt.

After several minutes of searching through the mass of people, a trooper informed me that the potential threat had been located and escorted off the grounds. The “weapon” he was holding was a small gardening trowel similar to this:


Before returning to the armed rally, I thanked him for helping and explained how unprofessional it was that his troopers completely ignored a legitimate complaint.

So the guy in body armor with an AR-15 strapped to his back is running around frantically trying to warn state police about a potential threat to public safety: a homeless guy with a garden trowel. And he tells this story as if it were completely logical, not the utterly massive FAIL any sane person would see it to be?

Right. And they wonder why we laugh at them?


Filed under fear, fear porn, gun control, gun violence, Texas

17 responses to “And They Wonder Why We Laugh At Them

  1. In fairness, I’d rather the gun nuts get the police involved in something like this than try to take matters into their own hands. The whole thing could have ended a lot worse.

    • It may be a trowel to you, but to me it’s a hand bayonet. A well-constructed garden trowel can actually wreak destruction. I once employed a chrome-plated ACE trowel with a mallet to chisel away the molded, hard foam on the inside of a bass guitar case. The whole process took less than one hour!

      It’s only one step away from The Hound of the Baskervilles.

      • That’s interesting, because I grew up using an old bayonet as a gardening tool. They’re handy for digging up weeds with taproots. After the bayonet was damaged by negligence, we got a couple of purpose-made gardening knives that were designed to do the same general thing.

    • LanceThruster

      I agree. Their being armed should have no bearing on the request for police action.

    • I’m pretty sure that was their point. Then again, a homeless guy with a garden trowel isn’t exactly a “threat” in my book. A bank robber with a gun? Maybe. But everyone is walking around with a gun, how do you know the good guys from the bad guys? Guess you don’t … so yeah let’s sound the alarm bells over garden trowels.

      Pants-wetters seeing a boogie man behind every bush. Gotta wonder what’s going on up there. Maybe they just need some Viagra.

  2. Hilarious. And I’m willing to bet the trowel in question some rusty bent piece of metal, not the saw edged weapon of destruction shown.

  3. Mnemosyne

    I guess we should be glad that they’re not ready to take the law into their own hands, but I can’t really blame the cops for being unwilling to run to the assistance a guy armed with a frickin’ AR-15. If he insists that he’s the only one who can defend himself from street crime because the cops are useless, why is he running to the cops for help at the first opportunity?

    • They are nothing if not irony-challenged. Imagine 100 guys armed with AR-15, bayonets, and pistols, yelling at the state police to DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS HORRIBLE THREAT NOW before someone gets hurt!!!! And it’s a homeless guy with a garden trowel? Don’t know how the state cops didn’t laugh at them.

  4. Mary Wilson

    Hey, SB, we do know why the cops don’t hee haw their heads off…the least little bit of ridicule, sarcasm could set off these cocked idiots who have NO sense of humor! Are y’all paying attention to our TEAs and their new very liberal gun laws? That Mae Beavers is a HOOT ! She has signed on, and even submitted her OWN “guns everywhere” bills and even claims that State laws always supersede Federal laws. What a dang, dangerous State to live in, eh?

  5. “While walking back and forth in front of our merchandise stand, he had somehow obtained one of our OCT hats that we hadn’t sold to him.”

    So he was able to swipe a hat from under their noses. Talk about ceaseless vigilance!

  6. yutsano

    That’s like, wow. Hell I once said it would take a squad of Marines to take out all the revolutionary wingnuts. Now I think it would take one. Drunk and fresh from a bar fight. But yeah, WOLVERINES!!!

  7. So the AR-15 bearing guys can’t manage to keep a homeless guy from shoplifting from THEIR table. And the rest of us are supposed to trust them with loaded weapons? Guffaw. Plus he forgets he has the loaded weapon strapped to his back while at a rally? Does this put him in the camp of those parents that forget to stow their weapons and are now minus one child? Why, why, why doesn’t having your kid kill himself with your loaded gun disqualify you from ever handling a gun again?

  8. You gotta wonder if in a previous life these idiots were all Illinois Nazis,

  9. Life was simpler when these troglodytes brandished sticks to extract termites from the ground. No good ever came from an obsidian monolith.

    • Someone once said that visitors from another planet, touring Washington D.C. after WW IX had reduced the planet to rubble mostly, would see a standing Washington’s Monument and deduce that a religion of penis worshippers had flourished here, prior to their self-extinction.

      Do you know what you call a fucking moron* who approaches uniformed police officers, while he’s wearing body armor and has a semi-automatic “hunting rifle**” slung on his back (in the approved–“Scarin’ the fuck outta moms*** at the Mall”, position) in an area where such is prohibited?


      Teabaggist gunzloonz****?

      Darwin Award nominee?

      There will be more about this at my house, later, maybe. I’m busy right now trying to rub the walls hard enough to generate sufficient friction to raise the temperature in the house above 58 degreees. Buddy the Wonderdog is doing his part by sleeping, really, Really, REALLY hard!

      * Obviously I mean, other than “a fucking moron”.

      ** Where the value of “hunting” is understood to include, humans, mostly.

      *** And pretty much everyone else who’s not fucking nuts

      **** I’m never sure whether it should be “Teabaggist gunzloonz” or “Gunzloon Teabaggists” as the Venn diagram for the two is so nearly circular that it looks like a bulls-eye.