I Got … Fever!

As many of my longtime readers know, I am a huge fan of the Olympic games — winter, summer, I love ’em all (mostly I love making fun of NBC’s lame coverage of the games; let’s see if they do better this time — though I’m not going to enjoy seeing Jennatonic on my TeeVee. Falling upward, indeed).

Even though the opening ceremonies aren’t until tomorrow, the games officially begin today. It appears the most popular new Olympic sport is figuring out the toilets in Sochi (if you’re on Twitter, then you must follow the @SochiProblems Twitter feed, it’s hilarious.)

The bizarre communal toilets have received a lot of attention:

dual toilets

And then there’s this:

Your bowel movement got a "10" from the German judge

Your bowel movement got a “10” from the German judge

And this:

Figure this one out, we dare you

Puzzle toilet: a new Olympic event?

I’ve been to Russia, granted it was 30-something years ago, but I don’t recall the toilets being any different there than anywhere else in the world. So I find all of this very amusing.

All kidding aside, one new event I’m especially excited to see is the women’s ski jump. This will be the first time women have been allowed to compete in the Olympics — men’s ski jumping has been an event since 1920! — and I couldn’t be more proud of our athletes. USA! USA! USA!

In 2010 I got some attention for this post, Let The Women Jump, where I unearthed some hilarious excuses made by IOC officials as to why we ladies shouldn’t be allowed to compete in this event — “medical” reasons like, I dunno, uteri flying through the air or something?

Women ski jumpers protested at the Vancouver games, pointing out that American ski jumper Lindsey Van actually beat the men’s record on the ski jump used by athletes in the Vancouver games. Back then I wrote:

Although some very thin and lame excuses have been floated around, what it seems to boil down to is that the European men don’t want to be shown up by a bunch of girls, one of whom holds the record on the actual ski jump used at the Vancouver games.

Yes that’s right, Lindsey Van beat the men’s record on the exact same ski jump the men will be sliding down to claim their Olympic medals this week.

After that post ran I got a thank-you note from Women’s Ski Jumping USA and an autographed photo of the team. For an obscure little blogger in Nashville, Tennessee, that really warmed my heart. And now the women get to jump! How awesome is that?

I’m still unclear on one thing:

While women will compete in only one event—the individual normal hill competition—men will compete in three: the individual normal hill competition, the individual large hill competition, and the team event.

I’m thrilled the women get to compete for Olympic gold for the first time in history but I don’t understand why we only get one event whereas the men get three. I mean, really?

Let me add, your Southern Beale is very uncoordinated and is also not very good with heights. The only ski jumping you will see me do is the kind that involves a Wii Fit board on the den floor. But let me say, I rock the ski jump on Wii. So watch out, Lindsay Van!


Filed under Olympic Games

6 responses to “I Got … Fever!

  1. It’s amusing in a black humor sort of way that all the human rights abuses in Russia are easily ignored, but bad Olympic hotels are making Putin a laughing stock. Where are our priorities?

    • Call it karma. And I don’t agree that Putin is getting a pass for human rights abuses, especially as relates to Russia’s GLBT citizens. It’s certainly not a story that’s been ignored by any means. I mean, it’s not like China also doesn’t have a history of human rights abuses, but I don’t recall that story getting much attention around the Beijing Olympics.

  2. Mary Wilson

    Hey, SB, you are on it. And it sounds like the boys on ye ole Olympic Committee are much the same as were men who fought the women’s right to vote back in the Wilson years…excuses abounded then, and what was worse was the torture, and throwing ‘us girls’ in prison because they DARE march non violently to have our right to vote. And apparently Russia is treating lesbian and gays in general the same when it relates to the right to be who you are.

  3. BTW, have you tried the “more cowbell” treatment for your fever?

    • Reminds me: completely unrelated, but I just finished reading the Bob Fosse biography. Apparently the day he died he was working on a revival of “Sweet Charity,” and was having a big argument with the orchestra over the cowbell. It wasn’t sounding right to him and he couldn’t articulate to the percussionist what he wanted, he just knew he wanted a different sound. Cowbell probably killed Bob Fosse.

      Well, cowbell and smoking and amphetamines …

  4. Tovarich Beale:

    Two toilets next to each other is being Russian fecal redundancy. After he is having too many blini and borscht and too much vodka, boris might be clogging one hopper, extra hopper is to prevent aromas escalation. Is feature, not bug.