Can CNN Be Saved?

Oh, CNN. Whatever happened to our cable news pioneer? Now the once groundbreaking news channel has been relegated to trolling for page views with unbelievably offensive stories like this one:


Can the Klan rebrand? Seriously? This is a question you needed to ask marketing experts? Why? This takes CNN’s “both sides of the story” ruse to new heights.

I grabbed a screen shot because I felt sure the story would get pulled. From the link:

Ancona, who lives in Missouri, insists there’s a new Klan for modern times — a Klan that’s “about educating people to our ideas and getting people to see our point of view to … help change things.”

He said he and those like him can spread that message without violence — a sort of rebranding of the Klan.

The idea may sound absurd, but is it conceivable?

No, say top marketing experts, brand gurus and historians — and for many reasons.

The Klan could change its name, get a smooth-talking spokesperson, replace the robes with suits and take off those ridiculous hats, but underneath, people would recognize its message is the same.

Just, stop right there. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the idea that CNN’s reporters actually asked marketing experts whether a reviled hate group can rebrand — you know, way to legitimize the group’s existence in the first place, guys!

Why not just ask, is there a way to make anti-Semitism more palatable? Is there an upside to White power? Should we bring back town square lynchings? I mean, for crissakes. That’s what you idiots are really asking. There are not two sides to racism and bigotry!

Here’s a thought. Has CNN, recently mocked on SNL for its ridiculous missing airplane coverage, outlived its usefulness? Is there any point to its existence? Is it time to pull the plug?

Guys: this should be obvious, but you don’t rebrand a hate group. It’s sorta by definition un-rebrandable. Kinda surprised you asked the question in the first place.


Story was not pulled, but by Monday morning the headline had been tweaked:


The content of the story is the same, i.e., the question asked of marketing experts was not, can this Klan leader rebrand, but can the Klan itself rebrand.

Again: No.


{dusts off hands, removes CNN from channel list … }


Filed under CNN, media

9 responses to “Can CNN Be Saved?

  1. Can CNN be saved”? Why the hell would we want to? It’s FoxLite.

  2. GregH

    Once you admit to yourself that all of these “news organizations” are really only about making money, you can stop being outraged or even irritated by their pandering. A guy’s gotta get paid. LOL

  3. Kathleen O:'Neill

    Next on CNN, could a certain vegetarian, non-smoking, non drinking Fuhrer become the new poster child for Men’s Health magazine?

  4. Next on CNN, could a certain vegetarian, non smoking, non drinking Fuhrer be the new poster child for Men’s Health magazine?

  5. Joseph Stans

    To maintain the original concept would require capital investment but none of the competitors are investing anything and have staked out their turf – FOX for lying dirt bags and MSNBC for (except for Rachel Maddow) airheads limited. To resurrect CNN would require finding an audience for news and good reporting and — no one cares anymore. they want o be titillated or they want their preconceptions reinforced. In other words, to bring CNN back would require an educated literate audience. Good luck with that.

  6. ThresherK

    I was out yesterday volunteering at the Boston Marathon, so the first inkling I had of this headline was when it popped up on Comedy Central’s “At Midnight”.

    It was part of a multiple choice question, and I’d like to brag that I guessed it correctly. Except that guessing how CNN is digging its own news grave isn’t much of an accomplishment.

    (PS The marathon was bigger than last year, and all the stories you’ve heard about the community are true. Plenty of good vibes to be had, even with the known hazard of Gatorade and road dirt I had to wash off my sneaker bottoms.)

    • A couple of my friends ran the marathon yesterday. I wish I could have been there. Thanks so much for volunteering. It means so much to us runners.

      • ThresherK

        You’re quite welcome.

        I’m one of the ham radio operators deployed by the hundreds. We facilitate communications between all the stops, first responders, security, medical teams, and transport vehicles. This was about my twelfth year doing it; I’m sure I’m getting “contact endorphins” from having 36000 people running a marathon by me.

  7. If the Nazi’s wanted to work on public relations, I wonder if CNN would tout their Fourth Reich efforts? Jeez… Banality has a network, and it’s CNN.