The Craziest Story Out Of Tennessee You Will Read All Year

I poke fun at Williamson County a lot over here, and with good reason. On the plus side it has a lovely landscape of rolling hills and historic Antebellum farms. On the downside, it’s the center of hypocritical, uptight, phony Christian, “free market fairies will save us all” political wingnuttery. There’s a reason Victoria Jackson, anti-Muslim extremist Laurie Cardoza Moore, and Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips all call Williamson County home.

Also, the people down there can’t drive for shit. If you’re stuck behind a ginormous SUV creeping along at 20 miles under the speed limit or doing something stupid like trying to turn left out of the right-hand lane, there’s a 90% chance that it has Williamson County plates. Usually it’s driven by a soccer mom texting while driving, let me add.

So let me just say, I am finding it absolutely hilarious that the brand-new chair of the Williamson County School Board — the same school board recently in the news for a textbook flap ginned up by anti-Muslim groups — has been forced to resign over a novelty product.

In particular, this novelty product:


Apparently the “Buttle Opener” was invented by Mark Gregory’s brother. Gregory helped get it on the market. The product had already caused the school board’s vice chairman to resign. And now Gregory has resigned as chairman (he says he will stay on the school board, however).

Just hilarious.


Filed under Tennessee

7 responses to “The Craziest Story Out Of Tennessee You Will Read All Year

  1. Kathleen

    Your experience with Williamson County is what I experience with Northern Kentucky drivers.

  2. Duke of Clay

    Apparently that kind of driver is everywhere. Up here in New Hampshire the slow vehicle has Vermont plates and is usually a Ford 250 or some such. In Louisville, Ky it was Indiana plates. Funny story: About three weeks after I moved to Atlanta, I was downtown overtaking a slow driver who then made a left turn from the right lane — Indiana plates.

  3. Duke of Clay

    PS: So. Beale, I miss you when you’re gone. I grew up in Memphis, and I really appreciate your insights into what’s going on in Tennessee.

  4. Randy

    Actually that may be the best use for Williamson County tight asses ever conceptualized.

  5. Joe

    It just screams “family values,” doesn’t it?