Ah, Tennessee and GunFAIL, we go together like cray and zee, like guns ‘n ammo, like “watch this” and “oops.” As promised, here are our Top 10 greatest hits (pun intended) from the preceding year. Enjoy!
10- In December 2013, a Madison woman pulled a gun in an argument over the Titans game. She said she was only joking, but she got arrested anyway. Some folks just can’t take a joke.
9- In May, a Memphis man brought a loaded gun into a movie theater. It fell out of his pocket and fired. Oops.
8- Finish the sentence: If your prom photo looks like this ….
This adorable couple hails from Granger County. The photo, which appeared in the Knoxville newspaper’s May “prom” edition, was so controversial that the paper actually cropped it — but not before your humble blogger was able to capture the full thing.
7- In December 2014, a Greeneville man tried to fix his lawnmower by shooting at the blade, and got injured for his trouble.
6- The tree of patriots must be watered with the blood of Liberties: In October, a Winchester dad showing his two sons how to load a rifle in the basement of their home accidentally shot his 7-year-old daughter, Liberty, in the stomach. Liberty was in another room; the bullet traveled through an air hockey table and a wall before finding its way into the child. Brilliant!
5- In June, a Meigs County man shot himself in the leg while he was driving. He died. The state’s “guns in cars” law was not quite a year old.
4- In April, a Knoxville man shot himself in the leg reaching for a cup of coffee.
3- Mother of all wardrobe malfunctions: In January a Carter County man shot himself in the chin while taking off his pants.
2- In August, a Kingsport woman showing her daughter her new Ruger via Skype accidentally shot her husband in the thigh. Ta da.
1- Our grand prize winner is 19-year-old Dallas J. Archer of Kingsport, who was arrested in April on a driver’s license offense and brought a stolen gun into jail by hiding it in her vagina. Did I mention it was loaded? It was loaded.
By the way, hope all the gun loons watch out for that pesky law of gravity tonight. It’s New Year’s Eve, but please don’t fire your rifle into the air. Bullets have a funny way of coming back down again.