How Americans Celebrate

[UPDATE]:

Apparently there were not one but two “celebratory gunfire” injuries in downtown Nashville. Slow clap.

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Happy Birthday, Murica! How did you celebrate our national holiday? Did you do it with guns? C’mon, you know you did. You know you did!

Did you remember the law of gravity? That what goes up must come down? You know you didn’t!

What follows is a brief and by no means comprehensive look at American gunfail, Fourth of July style. And I’m going to start right here at home:

• Nashville:

A 9-year-old girl was struck by a bullet in downtown Nashville Saturday night while waiting for the fireworks show to begin.

The girl, who was visiting Nashville with her parents from Mississippi, was waiting with her family at First Avenue South and Korean Veterans Boulevard before the show when she felt a pain in her back, according to a news release from Metro Nashville police. She was taken to Vanderbilt University Medical Center and treated for a small caliber wound, the release says. The injury is not critical.

ALSO:

A man also sustained a gunshot wound from a stray bullet while in the parking lot of Nissan Stadium during the fireworks.

The male victim was in parking lot C with his wife and two friends when a bullet traveled through is right arm and became lodged in his left wrist.

He was transported to Vanderbilt University Medical Center with non-life threatening injuries.

Police told News 2 his injury was determined to be accidental and to have come from someone shooting a gun in the area.

Not exactly a tourism selling point, guys.

• Pittsburgh, PA:

Woman shot at Kennywood amusement park, possibly by celebratory gunfire

WEST MIFFLIN, Pa. (AP) — Police say a woman was shot while inside an amusement park in suburban Pittsburgh, and they’re investigating whether the bullet came from someone nearby celebrating the Fourth of July.

Allegheny County Police say the 26-year-old woman was in stable condition following the shooting just after 10 p.m. Saturday at Kennywood Park in West Mifflin. She was struck in the upper chest near her shoulder.

• College Park, GA:

Fulton County police have identified a person of interest in the death of a 16-year-old girl they believe was killed by celebratory Fourth of July gunfire.

Rasheedah Evans, 16, was inside her home on Harper Valley Drive in College Park on Saturday night when she was struck by a stray bullet and killed. Fulton County police spokesman Lt. Scott McBride said detectives have since identified 23-year-old Marcel Smith as a person of interest.

Inside her home. Even in your own home you aren’t safe. UNbelievable.

• Council Bluffs, IA:

A 7-year-old Council Bluffs boy is recovering after being wounded in the shoulder by a stray bullet fired into the air Saturday night.

Police say the boy was standing in the driveway of his home near North 26th Street and Avenue J around 10:30 p.m., watching the neighborhood fireworks with his grandparents when he began crying, complaining of pain in his right shoulder. His grandmother noticed a small amount of blood and thought he’d been struck by a firework. When she took him inside to clean the wound she discovered the bullet.

Spartanburg County, SC:

SPARTANBURG COUNTY, S.C. —The Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office says a young man is in the ICU after getting accidentally shot in the head by his friend.

According to investigators, the friends were setting off fireworks for the July 4 holiday when someone — apparently angered by what they were doing — drove by and fired shots into the air.

Lt. Kevin Bobo said the two then got into vehicles to retaliate for the gunfire. Upon reaching the intersection of Chelsea Street and Old Farm Road, the friend fired at a vehicle but ended up striking the car where the victim sat.

Wild wild West, y’all. Weren’t we told that would never happen?

7 Comments

Filed under gun control, Guns, Tennessee

7 responses to “How Americans Celebrate

  1. Jill Meyer

    Yeah, well, what about the Darwin-reject in Maine who blew his head when he put a lit firecracker on its? It may not have been death by gun, but it really, really stupid.

  2. Coincidentally I was watching Ken Burns’ The West on the Fourth. And there they were, signs forbidding guns in town. So they must have been smarter then.

  3. “The alligator attack, the second one in the region this week, is believed to be the first fatal encounter in Texas in at least two centuries.”

    When questioned by a local reporter , Alligator Alligatoridae (“Ali” to his friends and victims) said, “It’s ’bout fuckin’ time! Them cracker sonsabitches been eatin’ US for at least that long. Y’know, THEY taste just like fried chicken!”.

    Gosh, I hope my little attempt at gallows humor doesn’t draw out the concern trolls who wil tell me that the vicdumb was a church-goer and family man.