Tin Soldiers

Is there anything more pathetic than chest-thumping, Law & Order, rah-rah conservatives like Sheriff David Clarke? They always end up being big, fat phonies, don’t they?

In case you missed it, check out Charles Clymer’s awesome Twitter rant questioning Clarke’s “service medals” and other pins (known as “flair”) which he parades around in. It was something I’d long questioned myself, and I’m glad Clymer’s rant called some attention to it.

Here’s Sheriff Clarke in his “dress uniform,” like he’s some goddamn general:

As Clymer pointed out,

Thanks to Clymer, some folks have tried to identify what exactly these pins are. What they’ve found is absolutely hilarious:

2. This is a pin that reads “Sheriff” made and branded by the Harley-Davidson motorcycle company. (Thanks to Charlie Deck for spotting it.)

A pin from the Harley Davidson motorcycle company? You have got to be kidding me.

21. A pin depicting a baby’s feet (“the precious feet”), signifying support for the antiabortion movement.

Dude. WTF.

There’s also an Israeli traffic police pin, which Haaretz questioned the legitimacy of:

Clarke may have received the pin when he toured Israel and Russia in 2015, in what the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported was a trip funded by the National Rifle Association.

Okay, it’s possible. But it makes one wonder: Did he earn the pin? If so, how? Did he head off a battle royale on the notoriously clogged road straddling Jerusalem’s Old City and Sultan’s Pool? Did he avert a crisis on the LaGuardia ramp into Tel Aviv? Did he bring peace, love and understanding to the hot, messy hell that is the Checkpost road, connecting Haifa with its northern suburbs?

We asked Clarke for background on the pin. He has yet to reply.

Until I see him perfect this gesture — signaling “rak rega,” a common expression meaning “hold on” — I, for one, won’t believe it he earned it.

Maybe Sheriff isn’t the job for David Clarke. Since he likes “flair” so much, might I suggest a new career?


Filed under Law & Order

7 responses to “Tin Soldiers

  1. If that’s true, omg, that’s quite embarrassing. Maybe he also shows the pin he got when he sold the most cakes in a cake sale when he was a kid…. Ridiculous.

  2. Joseph Stans

    There looks to be a couple of ranking officers that may be shown the grease trap in the next few months . They could provide a whole new source of “bling” for Clarks’s Uniform. Also the Scientology goon gaggle has boat club with several bits he could porbably wangle.

  3. Kathleen

    Someone (it was either a Balloon Juice commenter or a commenter quoting a tweet) has dubbed him “Generalissimo TGI Fridays”.