American Morans, Creationist Edition

Buzzfeed did one of its infamous listicles at the Bill Nye/Ken Ham circus sideshow, er I mean “evolution/creation debate” (and no I didn’t watch it — sorry, but we had one of those in Tennessee about 100 years ago and I see no reason to repeat it). You can read the piece here, 22 Messages From Creationists To People Who Believe In Evolution.

Most of the questions are rather silly and pointless, IMHO — yes, Virigina, there is such a thing as a stupid question. As Slate’s Phil Plait, who bothered to answer the questions, pointed out,

[…] the vast majority of them are due to a misunderstanding of how evolution works rather than being pointed barbs striking at the heart of science.

I have a question for creationists: why can’t you tell the difference between “their” and “there”?

Sorry, I know this is a little petty. But I have a hard time taking scientific criticism seriously when it comes from people who don’t know basic grammar.

Also, whopper of the day to the dude who thinks evolutionists/secularists/”huminists”/non-God believing people do believe humans come from aliens and extraterrestrials. What? He probably got that crackpot notion from a book he got at the Grand Canyon bookstore. Seriously, this is what happens when you live in a bubble, folks. You start opening your mouth and a whole mess of stupid falls out.

(Original American Moran here, more American Morans here).

American Morans: Corporate Edition

‘shopped or not? You decide:

Apparently this was seen on a New York City bus sometime this week (hence, “Big Apple meet …”) Doesn’t look ‘shopped to me, and nothing came up on Snopes. I’ve heard of truth in advertising but this hits new levels for honesty in marketing.

Oh, the irony.

(Original American Moran here, other Morans here.)

American Moran: Joe Carr

Welcome to the American Morans club, State Rep. Joe Carr! Your primary challenge to Senator Lamar Alexander is off to a stereotypically brilliant Tea Party start:

(h/t, Out Of The Blue’s Daily Buzz.)

Original American Moran here, other Morans here.

Rep. Chuck Fleischmann, American Moran

Been a while since we’ve had one of these:

Rep. Chuck Fleischmann’s welcome message to the leader of the free world took Obama to task for policies that Fleischmann’s called “burdensome” to Chattanooga-area businesses.

The congressman praised Tennessee’s pro-growth, right-to-work policies and criticized the increasingly unpopular health care reform that Republicans call Obamacare.

His missive also added two new verbs to the English lexicon, while inventing an adjective and misspelling the name of one of the original 13 colonies.

“We appreciate that you are in town celebrting [sic] the businesses that have come to Tennessee thanks to our low regulation, low taxes and right-to-work policies,” Fleischmann wrote in his faux postcard. “While here, I invite you to visist [sic] a few historial [sic], natural attractions like Ruby Falls, a true Chattanooga treasure.”

The card was addressed to the president at “1600 Pensylvannia [sic] Avenue.”

Sigh. I might also add they picked the most unreadable font known to graphics.

Anyway, thanks for keeping the stereotype of Tennesseans alive, Congressman!

Also? Unemployment in Tennessee increased for the sixth straight month and is higher than the national average, while personal income growth here slipped. So no, we’re not all that.

Take your little misspelled Frank Luntz-crafted talking point and shove it, Chuck.

Oh, and one more thing: Ruby Falls is a waterfall in a dark cave. You go in and it’s completely dark and they play the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey. When the music gets to the “ta-da” part, a red light goes on, illuminating the falls. It is cheesy as hell, one of those 1950s-style roadside attractions, like a jackalope-in-a-jar. Tennessee has a lot of treasures but this ain’t one of them.

(Original American Moran here; other American Morans here.)

The Mother Of All American Morans

Good Lord. We might have to retire the American Morans meme after this one:

Two Words, Republicans: Spell Check

American Morans, Video Edition

Via deep in comments, comes this gem from 2007, the great Sprinkler Rainbow Conspiracy! Stand up for your Constitutional Rights, people! No more fluoridated water!

WOLVERINES!

Original American Moran here, more American Morans here.

Mitt Romney’s Money Shot

Apparently this just happened. I’m going to guess Photoshop was involved but it is true you can’t spell “Romney” without “m-o-n-e-y.”

BTW, if this wasn’t Photoshopped, it deserves an American Moran Gold Medal Award.

(h/t, Dangerous Minds)

Best American Moran Ever

I don’t know if this is a hoax or not but it’s hilarious:

Yeah we’re all gonna need heroin if Sarah Palin gets elected to anything.

By the way, this is Sarah Palin’s second appearance in the American Morans club.

[UPDATE]:

Okay, it’s apparently not a hoax, and the typo has since been fixed, according to this Facebook page. This belongs in some kind of American Moran Hall of Fame.

American Morans, TNDP Edition

[UPDATE]:

The TNDP regrets the error:

——————————-

This cracked me up. From a TNDP e-mail:

Yeeesh.

(h/t, Post Politics)

American Morans, Glenn Beck Edition

Via Attaturk:

(Original American Moran here; more American Morans here.)