Category Archives: Bill O’Reilly

Farewell, Bill O’Reilly

Twenty years too late, Bill O’Reilly was finally fired from Fox News.

Herewith, from deep in the memory hole, that infamous dance remix of his “fuckit, we’ll do it live” meltdown.

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Filed under Bill O'Reilly, FOX NEWS

There Is No Santa Claus, Idiots

Jesus effin’ Christmas Tree. This explains what’s wrong with your modern conservative, in a nutshell. Arguments over whether Santa Claus was white, black, orange or green are completely ridiculous when you dial back a bit and remember one crucial thing: Santa isn’t real!

You know, I’d love to use this nonsense to point out all of the other fictitious things conservatives believe in: the free hand of the market, trickle down economics, tax cuts create jobs, Obamacare death panels, Conservative Jesus, etc. Seems like I’ve had to remind conservatives about the difference between fiction and reality before, back when they were pretending Jack Bauer was a real person and torture was the best defense against terrorism. But that’s not what’s going on here.

That conservatives are divorced from reality when it serves them is not news; that they will go to the mat in defense of Santa’s “whiteness” speaks to something deeper. This is about race and identity and the pathetic need to hang onto the idea of white superiority. It wouldn’t matter what race a mythic figure like Santa Claus is if conservatives like Bill O’Reilly didn’t feel so insecure about their cultural position in the first place. It’s another manifestation of the conservative inferiority complex, broadcast on Fox News for all the world to see.

There is nothing more ridiculous than a privileged old white guy arguing that no, black people cannot have Santa Claus. He’s ours. Do you people even hear yourselves?

And they wonder why the rest of the world laughs at them.

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Filed under Bill O'Reilly, racism, rants, Republican Party, War On Christmas

Bill O’Reilly Flunks History In His Own Book

Have you heard that Bill O’Reilly “wrote” a new book on the assassination of Abraham Lincoln? With some guy named Martin Dugard? Apparently the book is so filled with errors, inaccuracies and lack of documentation that historians are pointing their fingers and laughing.

Staff historians at the Ford’s Theatre, an official National Historic Site, reviewed the book to determine if it was fit for sale in their bookstore. They concluded:

Publication (Killing Lincoln) not recommended as a sales item in the Eastern National Bookstore located in the Museum at Ford’s Theatre National Historic because of the lack of documentation and the factual errors within the publication.”

I’m sure it’s just those liberal historians being mean!

A list of factual errors is at the link. Some of the most glaring errors are references to President Lincoln having meetings in the Oval Office, which wasn’t built until 1909 in the Taft Administration.

And then there’s this:

What most irks Steers is the book’s portrait of conspirator Mary Surratt, which sacrifices truth for drama. O’Reilly and Dugard write that when she wasn’t on trial she had to wear a padded hood that disfigured her and made her claustrophobic; that she was “sick and trapped” in a cell that was “barely hospitable” aboard the monitor Montauk; and that she had “a haunted, bloated appearance” because of the experience. To which Steers replies: “None of this is true. Mary Surratt was never shackled or hooded at any time. She was never imprisoned aboard the Montauk. . . . This mischaracterization of Mary Surratt is unfortunate, and helps to perpetuate the myth of her innocence and her brutal treatment at the hands of the Federal government.”

I’m sure with all of these embarrassing and irresponsible factual errors, Bill O’Reilly’s career as a historian is kaput, right? Don’t be silly! Reports the Post:

Since its publication the book has been riding at the top of the bestseller list, and soon after its release O’Reilly signed a contract to write two more books, one of which will be another presidential history.

Wingnuts love to preach about “personal responsibility” but have you ever noticed that for the Conservative Elite, there’s never any price to pay when they fuck up? When the elites fall, it’s always upward. And this is the problem with the modern American Republican Party.

The wingnut welfare gravy train includes book deals, TV shows, syndicated radio shows and the like, where facts are fungible and the only thing that matters is posturing. The inevitable result of this lowering of standards and focus on style over substance is the 2012 GOP presidential clown car. The entire Republican presidential process is drenched in overwhelming self-importance, which has resulted in hundreds of these ridiculous, damaging debates — each one an advertisement for President Obama. You’d think Republicans would have pulled the plug on this nonsense after, like, the gazillionth time the televised audience cheered beating puppies and drowning kittens while America recoiled in horror. Amazingly, no. They are puffed up and proud of these buffoons and rejects who slithered out from under conservatism’s rock.

But what do you expect? When your standard for presidential scholar and historian are media personalities like Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck, you’ve by definition lowered your standard for who holds the office of president.

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Filed under Bill O'Reilly, pop culture, Republican Party

>Hate-y

>So, let’s say your neighbor, the most impoverished person in the neighborhood, suffers a disaster. Let’s say their house catches on fire and burns to the ground. Is the first thing you do:

A) Help your neighbor in whatever way you can;

B) Tell the world that any financial assistance sent to your neighbor will just get stolen, and conclude your neighbor “needs discipline”;

C) Assert that the mayor of your town will just use the disaster to pander to certain voters;

D) Claim your neighbor is paying for a pact they made with the Devil years ago to oust their French landlord. “True story!”

If you are an American conservative with your own TV or radio show, guess which of these scenarios you did yesterday?

International aid organizations and religious organizations have offices in Haiti and staff on the ground coordinating relief efforts. For a more productive response, check out this list of legitimate groups responding to the Haiti disaster. They will not steal your money.

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Filed under Bill O'Reilly, conservatives, Rush Limbaugh

>I Think Bill-O Is Booked For The Wrong Awards Show

>Bill O’Reilly’s greatest hit, and it wasn’t country. From the memory hole:

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>Take THAT, Dixie Chicks!

>Seriously, CMT? Bill O’Reilly is going to be a presenter at this year’s CMT Awards?

Is he presenting the award for the biggest horse’s ass, because it takes one to know one?

So CMT thinks the guy who repeatedly uses inflammatory, racist rhetoric about liberals and Democrats, who launched his own “jihad” against the murdered Dr. Tiller, whom he repeatedly called on air a “baby killer,” the guy who says gay marriage will lead to dolphin, goat, duck, and turtle marriage — this is a guy you think belongs on your awards ceremony, handing out trophies?

You guys have lost me.

Way to solidify the stereotype that country music is for white, right-wing, tea-bagging Republican rednecks.

Maybe something changed in the past two years, but judging by the last election I don’t think so.

Times like this that I really miss the Music Row Democrats.

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Filed under Bill O'Reilly, country music

>Kids Say The Darnedest Things

>Like, for instance, telling Bill O’Reilly he’s full of shit. From the mouths of babes:

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>Bill-O Freak-Out: The Dance Remix

>Hilarious. Play us out, Bill-O:

(h/t, Xark.)

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>Anger Management Alert

>By now it’s been all over the blogosphere, but this is too hilarious to not post. Well, maybe hilarious isn’t the word. Scary. Sad. And most definitely: Tragic.

Via Attaturk, this video clip of Bill O’Reilly throwing a temper tantrum because he’s too stupid to understand the copy on the teleprompter is a window into his dark soul. Sure we all have bad days now and then, but this extreme ranting is the height of unprofessional behavior. Abuse of one’s co-workers like this used to get people hauled off to anger management classes. I can honestly say I feel sorry for the poor dweebs who have to work with him over at Fox News.

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>Bill O’Reilly, Maverick!

>Bill O’Reilly is conservative by anyone’s standards, save his own.

Creators Syndicate, which syndicates such opinion columnists as O’Reilly, Joe Conason and Pat Buchanan, has begun labeling its columnists by political ideology. The move to label pundits conservative, liberal, libertarian, or unaffiliated was requested by the sales staff, which thought the labeling would make Creators more “editor-friendly.”

So what political affiliation did right-wing blowhard Bill O’Reilly choose for himself?

Labeled unaffiliated from the start was Bill O’Reilly, who most people would consider conservative. “He made it clear from the first time Creators was involved with him that he didn’t want to be pigeonholed,” said Fryrear.

Hilarious.

Well, Bill-O, if you don’t want to be pigeonholed, you’re going to have to work a little bit harder. Because for the last few years we’ve heard nothing but hard-boiled, calcified, wingnuttery.

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