Category Archives: conspiracies

Truthers, Hurricane Matthew Edition

The right-wing is losing its shit over Hurricane Matthew because, I dunno, hurricanes hardly happen or something? That seems to be the gist of it, and I don’t get it.

Let’s hear from the Least Trusted Names In News, shall we?

First we have Matt Drudge claiming that hurricane reports have been overplayed “to make an exaggerated point on climate,” and doubting reports from the US National Hurricane Center because, I guess, government bad, arrgle barrgle.

This special brand of stupid has been shared by Rush Limbaugh, who is also doubting the National Hurricane Center, simply because it’s a government agency:

‘It’s in the interest of the left to have destructive hurricanes because then they can blame it on climate change, which they can desperately continue trying to sell,’ he said on his show.

This is what happens when your disdain for government and science collide.

Inside the conspiracy kitchen at Infowars they’re cooking up rumors about Black Lives Matter planning to loot white neighborhoods:

A quick Twitter search reveals dozens of messages posted by Americans living in or near the affected areas that brazenly talk about the opportunity for looting that the hurricane will provide.

“God Please let this hurricane hit us so I can do some looting,” tweeted one user.

“So we looting after the hurricane? I do need a new TV & iPhone and some clothes,” added another.

“Ready for hurricane Matthew to hit so I can start looting,” remarked another.

When asked if they would be looting, one Twitter user responded, “yep, but in white neighborhoods.”

Anonymous Tweets are totally verifiable and legit, you guys! I’m sure the folks trying to delegitimize BLM had nothing to do with such social media posts at all! What idiot buys this obviously ginned-up nonsense? This idiot in charge of the Tennessee Republican Party‘s official Twitter account, for one (apparently not the official TNGOP account, on closer inspection):

tngop1

When challenged on this obviously racist BS, they upped the ante:

tngop2

Black kids are just gonna loot, amiright? Just can’t help themselves. /sarcasm. Of course, when white kids do it, they’re just “letting off steam.”

But by all means my absolute favorite Hurricane Matthew conspiracy theory is this one courtesy of The Millennium Report, a cesspool of hoaxes and conspiracy theories that makes Infowars look like the New York Times:

If you’re trying to throw a wrench into the Florida State Government, there’s no more effective way than to geoengineer a hurricane and send it northward into the sun-drenched peninsula. Many chemtrail watchers in the state have already noticed a dramatic uptick in the chemical geoengineering operations statewide. Such a development never bodes well for the region’s highly unpredictable weather.

[…]

At this point anything can happen. Many of the storms that barrel up the Eastern Seaboard seem to have a mind of their own and often surprise with a punch as they head north to highly populated metro areas of the NE. Given the 2016 election cycle, the politicos at the federal level would love to sow seeds of chaos anyway they can in order to create cover for an election theft. For many reasons the Obama Administration really needs a Clinton victory in order to preserve their legacy of utter destruction. Obama, himself, requires such a Democratic win to simply stay out of prison.

Let’s just leave it there, folks.

You know, it’s all fun and games until someone drowns because they either refused to believe the threat was real or they thought it was more important to stay home and protect their stuff from imaginary looters.

I cannot imagine what goes through the minds of a large chunk of Americans.

[UPDATE]:

Everything old is new again:

 

TrumpTweet.jpg

2 Comments

Filed under conservatives, conspiracies, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, weather

Today’s IOKIYAR

[UPDATE]:

Nothing says “freedom” like making your announcement at a university event in which student attendance is mandatory:

The Republican firebrand from Texas delivered a speech in a packed auditorium at convocation held at the school founded by the late televangelist Jerry Falwell. It is a thrice-weekly event and attendance is mandatory for students, the university said.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…..

———————————————————————————
So, that smarmy, pretentious douche canoe Ted Cruz is running for President.

Remember the racist Teanuts who forced President Obama to prove he wasn’t born in Kenya? Who still believe he was born in Kenya? Who hollered “Constitutional crisis” over birth certificates and his Kenyan father? The Orly Taitzes and Jerome Corsies and Alan Keyeses? The idiots in their tri-corner hats waving their flags and pretending to be Revolutionary War heroes? Yeah, you fools, now rushing to embrace the Calgary, Canada-born Cruz, whose crazy-assed nutball father is Cuban? You can all shut the fuck up now.

Oh, but, IOKIYAR! It’s ALWAYS okay if you’re a Republican. Everything is always okay if you’re a Republican. Even not being born on American soil. Even not having an American-born father.

Even, probably, being black.

I just think this is such a great opportunity to point out the utter farce that is every single conservative freak-out. I certainly hope liberals troll Ted Cruz and his supporters with shouts of where’s the birth certificate! and Canadian usurper! at every single campaign appearance.

13 Comments

Filed under 2016 Election, 2016 Presidential Election, conspiracies, conspiracy theory, Republican Party

Where Are The FEMA Camps?

tin-foil-hatNotorious crackpot/tinfoil hat conspiracy monger and former Ron Paul pal Lew Rockwell asks if you know where your neighborhood FEMA camp is located.

Excellent question! Next time the jackbooted gummint thugs and UN black helicopters descend, I would like to know where I can go to wave at my loved ones through the barbed wire (just like in Red Dawn, remember?) Here’s what he says about Tennessee:

TENNESSEE

Ft. Campbell – Next to Land Between the Lakes; adjacent to airfield and US Alt. 41.Millington – Federal prison camp next door to Memphis Naval Air Station.Crossville – Site of WWII German / Italian prison camp is renovated; completed barracks and behind the camp in the woods is a training facility with high tight ropes and a rappelling deck.Nashville – There are two buildings built on State property that are definitely built to hold prisoners. They are identical buildings – side by side on Old Briley Parkway. High barbed wire fence that curves inward.

Fascinating. These are very cryptic instructions, but ones I noticed that were taken from the US Concentration Camp Locator, no doubt another pack of conspiracy loons and nutters who’ve spent too much time listening to the static on their short-waves.

First of all, let me say: as someone who lived and worked at Land Between The Lakes and explored just about every inch of the place, there are no FEMA camps on LBL property. There are regular old campgrounds and a facility used for summer camps. But no FEMA camps. If there are, they’re underground (or under water).

Highway 41-A is miles and miles and miles from LBL, by the way. There’s no “adjacent to 41-A and LBL.” The highway turns into Ft. Campbell, the big military base, and there’s a lot of military land between 41-A and LBL. Is there a prison camp there? I have no idea. Probably. It’s a damn military base. Saying there’s a prison at a military base is like saying there’s tuna fish at Kroger.

As for the Nashville site, I was trying to figure out from the vague directions where they’re talking about. Briley Parkway is a highway that makes a nearly complete circle around the city. Interestingly, it does traverse through state-owned land with some actual prisons on it. Riverbend, aka the Tennessee state pen, is here. So is the Tennessee Prison For Women as well as juvenile facilities. They’re all located along Briley Parkway north of the city. I used to volunteer at the prison so I’m pretty familiar with it. So yes, there are prisons here, but ones that hold actual offenders. But none seem to meet the description of “two identical buildings, side by side” surrounded by barbed wire. I mean, there are a dozen buildings up there surrounded by barbed wire.

The US Concentration Camp locater offered a helpful link to Google maps, which I followed, but it seemed to take me to the dam at Percy Priest Lake, which is Army Corps of Engineers, not state property. And no identical buildings or barbed wire, just a fence to keep you from jumping into the dam.

So count me disappointed that at least two of Tennessee’s alleged FEMA camps seem to be a big bust. Where are your FEMA camps?

6 Comments

Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory

Truly Nobody Could Have Anticipated This

[UPDATE]:

This is rich: the guy who was shot at Walmart was a concealed-carry holder who confronted the killers. So he died. For no reason. And his concealed carry ass was wasted for absolutely no reason, stopping absolutely nothing. But apparently the gun humpers are jacking off all over this guy’s corpse because … I dunno, freedom or something. But that kid who used pepper spray to take out the Seattle shooter last week is a wuss or something.

Seems to me this basically nullifies the talking point that good guys with guns stop bad guys with guns.

—————————————–

Someone lifted the rock covering the American west and look what crawled out: Bundy Ranch racists, gun humpers, anti-government loons, wannabe revolutionaries, and, yes, even Walmart. Read about history’s most pathetic revolutionaries:

Residents at an apartment complex where it appeared the two lived together said they had a reputation for spouting racist, anti-government views, bragging about their gun collection and boasting that they’d spent time at Cliven Bundy’s ranch during a recent standoff there between armed militia members and federal government agents.

The duo also told people they planned to commit a mass shooting, said Brandon Moore, a resident of the complex.

“They were handing out white-power propaganda and were talking about doing the next Columbine,” Moore said.

We’ve had over a decade now of non-stop hate speech spewed on conservative-funded television stations, radio stations and websites. Since the black man became president it’s reached fever-pitch. The raging paranoia ginned up by leaders of the right like Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Louie Gohmert and other conservatives who actually hold elected office has been non-stop. They’ve spun completely unfounded tales of government oppression, saying the government will cart people off to FEMA camps, institute death panels, ban the Bible, hand the reins of U.S. government over to UN thugs who will, I dunno, force everyone to eat brie or something, and on, and on, and on.

And after years and years of this shit, we still act surprised when yet another anti-government loon takes up their guns (Constitution! Freedom!) and mows down some innocent people who embody this hated government. In this case it was two innocent cops on their lunch break eating some damn pizza.

And you know what? This wasn’t even the only incident of an anti-government loon trying to take out a symbol of government oppression in the past week. We also had this Constitutional genius in Georgia, who decided to show up for his court date armed with an assault rifle, explosives, and spike strips:

Rather than turn up on time for a court hearing Friday morning on charges of marijuana and firearms possession, Dennis Marx was apparently readying for his assault on the courthouse.

Sheriff’s Department officials told the Associated Press on Saturday that they found a checklist at Marx’s home in Cumming, Ga., that listed all of the weapons and tools that police found inside the car Marx drove toward the courthouse.

The items included zip ties and explosives that could be tied to hostages. Police found more explosive devices at his home, according to the Associated Press.

[…]

Marx had a beef with the Sheriff’s Department, stemming from his 2011 arrest and subsequent indictment on 11 felony drug and weapons charges.

Last August, he sued the department for civil rights violations, alleging in federal court that deputies regularly engaged in excessive force and overzealous searches and seizures. He had been representing himself in the lawsuit.

Marx said in the court documents that inmates in Forsyth County had to deal with sewage on the floors and limited access to medical care. Deputies also hit and kicked him and refused to loosen handcuffs, Marx alleged.

In a court filing in April, Marx said deputies had seized some of his property, which prevented him from protecting his family and contributed to the death of a family member. The case brought against him, meanwhile, was ruining his own life and hurting his chances of finding a job, he said. Marx also described himself as a professional gun collector, with other court documents listing guns as among the items police sought to seize.

I mean, Jesus, I just don’t know what the fuck is wrong with people anymore. It’s the guns, and it’s the mental illness, and it’s the paranoid hate speech that ricochets unrestrained around the land, because there are never any consequences for spewing this stuff any more. At least, not negative consequences: Phil Robertson can open his yap and let some misogynistic, homophobic and racist stupid fall out, and Fox News puts him on TV and he gets invited to speak to the Republican Leadership Conference. No, these days, conservatives are rewarded for extremist rhetoric. Sorry, folks, but the Republican Party’s far-right lurch is a huge part of the problem here. When are you guys going to stop empowering the whackjobs and bigots in your party?

Should we blame Hollywood, too? Sure, why not! Not for its perpetuation of gun culture, but for its endless promoting of the archetype these nutjobs seem to have latched on to: the “independent lone wolf” who saves the country from forces of evil. You know the type: John McClane from Die Hard, Dirty Harry or Jack Bauer. This idea that it’s not just okay but actually necessary for the lone wolf to go rogue and take on the forces of evil because only he knows the truth — well, you know what? Great for a movie script, not so great in real life. Maybe Hollywood will make a movie where Jack Bauer goes rogue and tries to takes down the terrorist ringleader plotting to blow up Los Angeles, you know, the guy everyone else thinks is the city’s esteemed mayor? And only Jack Bauer knows the truth? Except, ha ha, plot twist! Turns out Jack Bauer has actually gone mentally insane from listening to too much Rush Limbaugh and Fox News paranoia and he’s made all of this shit up. The mayor’s security detail takes him down just in the nick of time and Bauer spends the rest of his years in a thorazine-enduced haze at the local mental ward.

I’d like to see that movie. Because goddamn, that’s pretty much how these stories are playing out in real life. I mean, what do you want to bet that the Open Carry Texas gun humpers are going to claim if only they had been at that Vegas Walmart with their AR-15s they could have stopped this? Because, lone wolf, and the government can’t keep you safe, lather, rinse, repeat.

Seriously, when is this shit going to end?

24 Comments

Filed under conspiracies, Current Events, gun control, gun violence

Super Bowl Derp Alert v2.0

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha……

JonesIllyuminati

I see a lot of Infowars bumper stickers plastered on road signs from coast to coast, in my own neighborhood and in my travels (here’s a sample from last summer). I have to wonder what kind of loon would spend their money and time on such an endeavor.

10 Comments

Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory, Music & politics, pop culture

Obamacare Fearmongering In One Screen Shot

I went to Snopes today, you know, the place that debunks internet rumors? I was looking for something else but while I was there I did a search for “Obamacare.”

Here’s what I got:

Obamacare

Microchips? Forced home inspections? I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

21 Comments

Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory, health insurance, healthcare

Racist “Rallies” Coming To Middle Tennessee

[UPDATE] 2:

In case I haven’t made myself abundantly clear, I am under zero obligation to provide an open forum for hate speech here. Racists and members of the League of Extraordinarily White Southern Whites can get their own damn blogs. You’re not welcome here.

————————————

[UPDATE]:

Welcome, Wonketteers!

————————————

I hesitate to use the word “rallies” because these events tend to draw in the tens not hundreds these days. But lookie what’s coming to Murfreesboro and Shelbyville:

Tenn_demonstration_Oct_2013

Maybe that racist Red Lobster customer was just scouting locations for this event. /snark

We’re getting an awful lot of this activity in Tennessee these days. What is it about Tennessee that draws the hatemongers out of the woodwork? Thinking … thinking ….

Anyway, you can read all about it here, but if you’re a sane person who doesn’t want to click on over to The League of the South, I’ve done it for you and posted some excerpts. Apparently these loons seem to think the U.S. is waging war in brown countries so they can bring the refugees over here and “dehomogenize” our communities, because George W. Bush and Barack Obama all hate white people or something. I dunno, doesn’t make a lot of sense but here ya go:

Southern nationalists are going to make the case that what the US Federal Government is doing, with the full support of Left-wing groups and the US media, is morally wrong. It is displacing a unique people and culture. It is replacing one people with another, actively opposing the interests of Southerners. And it is funding this action with the tax money of the people of Tennessee and at the same time restricting their right of free speech and free association. The entire fiasco is wrong and immoral. We invite those concerned about these troubling developments to stand with us in Tennessee. Make your voice heard; don’t passively accept being replaced in your own land.

The event will be held on 12 October in Murfreesboro and Shelbyville. We will meet for a pre-demonstration briefing the morning of 12th at 9 AM in the parking lot of Best Western Plus in Shelbyville, where we are staying (see information below on lodging). From there we will travel to Murfreesboro. More information will be forthcoming on the exact area where we will gather to hold the demonstration in Murfreesboro. After the Murfreesboro, TN demonstration we will head back to nearby Shelbyville, TN, enjoy dinner together, spread the word about Southern demographic displacement there and then retire for an afternoon of fun and fellowship. One does not have to be a League member to attend the demonstration. We just ask that everyone follow the guidelines we have established for the event.

Your land? Native Americans might have something to say about that. Also, their guidelines are funny. No untucked shirts! No T-shirts! No holes in your jeans, hippie!

And hello, but I think the management and ownership of the Best Western Plus in Shelbyville might want to hear from some folks. I can’t imagine how having the League of the South staying at their establishment and gathering in their parking lot with their hate-filled signs will make their brown-skinned employees feel.

Also, here’s a screen-grab of more of their screed. Notice the use of the Murfreesboro city logo. Are they trying to give the impression that the City of Murfreesboro has endorsed this event?

RACIST RALLIES

As Vince Gill said, if y’all want to know what hate looks like, come on out and see for yourselves.

64 Comments

Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory, racism, Tennessee

Every Photo Is A Metaphor

Saw this yesterday on our way back from our day on Santa Cruz Island:

DSCN4601

Infowars is that loon Alex Jones’ group. Like the Ron Paulites, Jones’ followers are nothing if not energetic. I see these bumper stickers plastered over utility poles and road signs all over Nashville. How interesting that way out here in Southern California you have the same loons with way too much time on their hands and a love of public rights-of-way. Then again, “tinfoil hate” is a national disease.

I’m not sure that this particular utility pole with all of the “DON’T” signage was the best place to spread their message, however. The message I get is, If you’re tempted to explore any of Alex Jones’ bizarre-o world ideas, don’t.

You know this conspiracy disease has jumped the shark when Donald Trump, that purveyor of the ludicrous, becomes the brand’s most visible spokesloon. This morning we’re enjoying our morning coffee, watching the news, when along comes Donald Trump, newly charged with fraud by the New York Attorney General. It’s all a big conspiracy, see! A “mini-IRS,” he says, pointing to the fact that AG Eric Schneiderman had lunch with President Obama and later that same day the charges are filed! Sure, ’cause we all know fraud cases are put together in a matter of minutes.

/sarcasm.

Darrell Issa’s House hearings start in 5… 4… 3…

10 Comments

Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory, Donald Trump, travel

Tin-Foil Hate In Ur Congress, Making Ur Laws

Hey everyone, gun control ain’t dead! There’s actually a bill in Congress that would ban ammunition purchases for six months! And, unbelievably, this bill has the support of far-right GOPers like Sen. Jim Inhofe Of Oklahoma.

What’s that, you say?

Yep, meet the AMMO Act (“Ammunition Management for More Obtainability,” cute, huh? Republicans love those clever acronyms). Will it stop suspected terrorists from buying ammunition? Crazy people? Convicted felons, domestic abusers, etc.? Nope. It’s directed at federal agencies:

The legislation would require the Government Accountability Office to conduct a report on the purchasing of ammunition by federal agencies, except the Department of Defense, and its effect on the supply of ammunition available to the public. The AMMO Act would restrict agencies from obtaining additional ammunition for a six-month period if current agency stockpiles are higher than its monthly averages prior to the Obama Administration.

This bill stems from some long-debunked conspiracy theories circulating around the internet about the Obama Administration stockpiling ammo to disarm the American populace and prepare for civil unrest (oddly, the bill exempts the Defense Department; seems some folks don’t really understand the meaning of the term “martial law”).

Anti-government “tin-foil haters” like Alex Jones and Pat Dollard are cheering the bill. Of course they are, they’re the very folks who have been flogging this nonsense in the first place. The fact that there is actual legislation in the U.S. House and Senate addressing one of their crackpot conspiracy theories is a huge win for them. It shows how far their influence has reached inside the Republican Party.

And make no mistake, this is unique to the Republican Party. Yes, during the Bush years some lefties pondered the government’s role in 9/11; some folks believed a false national security event would occur so the Bush Administration could declare martial law and cancel the 2004 elections. But these were commenters on blogs, maybe a far-left radio host or two. Not people actually elected to the United States Senate or a state legislature. Not people holding office and in a position to influence public policy.

Not people like Tennessee Republican Rick Womick, or the crazy lady in New Hampshire’s state house who bought Alex Jones’ “false flag” nonsense about the Boston bombings. The fact that the Republican Party is increasingly associated with these fringe conspiracy nutters shows just how far off the rails America’s conservative political party has gone. Wake up, folks. Michele Bachmann has plenty of company in that crazy train.

I call them “tin-foil haters” because hate is exactly what these people are selling. It’s distrust of the government with a heaping pile of amygdala-tweaking fear thrown in, topped with a shining hero archetype. It’s the idea that only you, young Wolverine, have the exclusive truth and can save the world — or at least your corner of it. Only you can be the hero of this movie. And yes, I do blame Hollywood for a lot of this stuff. I can’t tell you how tired I am of seeing the White House or a national landmark blown up on the big screen (and hunky Channing Tatum alone can save us!). Hollywood, get a new storyline. This one’s played out.

By the way: if you think our government is too incompetent to regulate healthcare but is clever enough to pull off any of the convoluted conspiracy theories you’ve dreamed up, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

10 Comments

Filed under conspiracies, gun control, hoaxes, Republican Party

You Thought Birthers Were Bad?

Meet the latest conspiracy theory to make its way around the right-wing nutosphere: you know those Tucson shootings that killed six people and seriously wounded Rep. Gabriel Giffords back in January? Yeah, they were all an evul librul hoax!

I guess that Federal judge and 8-year-old girl and the rest didn’t really die, they just decided to live on the island of Palau for the rest of their lives. Or something.

Even worse: some of these nutters are actually harassing survivors and first responders to prove their crackpot delusions are real:

FBI spokesman Manuel Johnson said the bureau was aware of the site, but he declined to say whether an investigation was under way. One shooting victim said he recently notified the FBI after two men claiming to be investigators showed up at his home and said they were trying to determine whether the shooting was a hoax.

“They tried to get into my home,” said the victim, who asked that he not be identified because it might attract more such visitors. “They wanted to know if I had any pictures. They said they didn’t believe the event took place.”

When the visitors were pressed for identification, the victim said, one presented a business card that listed the Texas conspiracy site, which describes the shooting as an exercise conducted by the Department of Homeland Security. Others connected to the case, including hospital personnel, relatives of victims and possible trial witnesses, have either received similar visits or seen their images on the group’s website, officials said.

The site, which solicits donations from visitors to help with its “investigation,” shows pictures of people who appeared on television after the shooting — including the suspect, Jared Loughner — and claims they resemble photographs of Tucson-area actors.

And, oh my God. The article says the hoax theory is being peddled by one Ed Chiarini. A quickie Google search dug up this bio; he’s a self-described “Constitutionalist” and yes, there is of course the de rigeur Tennessee connection: the guy is from Millington.

Apparently Chiarini is quite the conspiracy buff, having waded knee-deep into a bunch of Kennedy assassination crap. Also, according to his bio, he’s really into the free energy stuff and, as also seems typical with the tinfoil-hat crowd, is spelling-challenged.

Get some help, Ed. Start with a good therapist, maybe some medication. Give yourself a break from the internet. Something. You’re delusional.

[UPDATE]:
Here’s what I don’t get about conspiracy theorists. The same people who don’t think the government is capable enough to, say, run an efficient healthcare system, educate our kids, or regulate banks, do think the government can pull off an elaborate, complex hoax involving a lot of planning, foresight, and coverups.

That just makes no sense.

I simply don’t think our government is efficient enough to pull off a 9/11 or fake the moon landing or fake a Tuscon shooting. That said, it doesn’t mean I think our government can perfectly run healthcare either, but I think they’d do a better job than the abject failure that is the private, for-profit system we have now. And if they fuck it up, we can vote them out of office and everything is open to public oversight. Versus a private system over which we have zero control.

So.

13 Comments

Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory