Category Archives: conspiracy theory

Truthers, Hurricane Matthew Edition

The right-wing is losing its shit over Hurricane Matthew because, I dunno, hurricanes hardly happen or something? That seems to be the gist of it, and I don’t get it.

Let’s hear from the Least Trusted Names In News, shall we?

First we have Matt Drudge claiming that hurricane reports have been overplayed “to make an exaggerated point on climate,” and doubting reports from the US National Hurricane Center because, I guess, government bad, arrgle barrgle.

This special brand of stupid has been shared by Rush Limbaugh, who is also doubting the National Hurricane Center, simply because it’s a government agency:

‘It’s in the interest of the left to have destructive hurricanes because then they can blame it on climate change, which they can desperately continue trying to sell,’ he said on his show.

This is what happens when your disdain for government and science collide.

Inside the conspiracy kitchen at Infowars they’re cooking up rumors about Black Lives Matter planning to loot white neighborhoods:

A quick Twitter search reveals dozens of messages posted by Americans living in or near the affected areas that brazenly talk about the opportunity for looting that the hurricane will provide.

“God Please let this hurricane hit us so I can do some looting,” tweeted one user.

“So we looting after the hurricane? I do need a new TV & iPhone and some clothes,” added another.

“Ready for hurricane Matthew to hit so I can start looting,” remarked another.

When asked if they would be looting, one Twitter user responded, “yep, but in white neighborhoods.”

Anonymous Tweets are totally verifiable and legit, you guys! I’m sure the folks trying to delegitimize BLM had nothing to do with such social media posts at all! What idiot buys this obviously ginned-up nonsense? This idiot in charge of the Tennessee Republican Party‘s official Twitter account, for one (apparently not the official TNGOP account, on closer inspection):

tngop1

When challenged on this obviously racist BS, they upped the ante:

tngop2

Black kids are just gonna loot, amiright? Just can’t help themselves. /sarcasm. Of course, when white kids do it, they’re just “letting off steam.”

But by all means my absolute favorite Hurricane Matthew conspiracy theory is this one courtesy of The Millennium Report, a cesspool of hoaxes and conspiracy theories that makes Infowars look like the New York Times:

If you’re trying to throw a wrench into the Florida State Government, there’s no more effective way than to geoengineer a hurricane and send it northward into the sun-drenched peninsula. Many chemtrail watchers in the state have already noticed a dramatic uptick in the chemical geoengineering operations statewide. Such a development never bodes well for the region’s highly unpredictable weather.

[…]

At this point anything can happen. Many of the storms that barrel up the Eastern Seaboard seem to have a mind of their own and often surprise with a punch as they head north to highly populated metro areas of the NE. Given the 2016 election cycle, the politicos at the federal level would love to sow seeds of chaos anyway they can in order to create cover for an election theft. For many reasons the Obama Administration really needs a Clinton victory in order to preserve their legacy of utter destruction. Obama, himself, requires such a Democratic win to simply stay out of prison.

Let’s just leave it there, folks.

You know, it’s all fun and games until someone drowns because they either refused to believe the threat was real or they thought it was more important to stay home and protect their stuff from imaginary looters.

I cannot imagine what goes through the minds of a large chunk of Americans.

[UPDATE]:

Everything old is new again:

 

TrumpTweet.jpg

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Filed under conservatives, conspiracies, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, weather

Today’s IOKIYAR

[UPDATE]:

Nothing says “freedom” like making your announcement at a university event in which student attendance is mandatory:

The Republican firebrand from Texas delivered a speech in a packed auditorium at convocation held at the school founded by the late televangelist Jerry Falwell. It is a thrice-weekly event and attendance is mandatory for students, the university said.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…..

———————————————————————————
So, that smarmy, pretentious douche canoe Ted Cruz is running for President.

Remember the racist Teanuts who forced President Obama to prove he wasn’t born in Kenya? Who still believe he was born in Kenya? Who hollered “Constitutional crisis” over birth certificates and his Kenyan father? The Orly Taitzes and Jerome Corsies and Alan Keyeses? The idiots in their tri-corner hats waving their flags and pretending to be Revolutionary War heroes? Yeah, you fools, now rushing to embrace the Calgary, Canada-born Cruz, whose crazy-assed nutball father is Cuban? You can all shut the fuck up now.

Oh, but, IOKIYAR! It’s ALWAYS okay if you’re a Republican. Everything is always okay if you’re a Republican. Even not being born on American soil. Even not having an American-born father.

Even, probably, being black.

I just think this is such a great opportunity to point out the utter farce that is every single conservative freak-out. I certainly hope liberals troll Ted Cruz and his supporters with shouts of where’s the birth certificate! and Canadian usurper! at every single campaign appearance.

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Filed under 2016 Election, 2016 Presidential Election, conspiracies, conspiracy theory, Republican Party

Where Are The FEMA Camps?

tin-foil-hatNotorious crackpot/tinfoil hat conspiracy monger and former Ron Paul pal Lew Rockwell asks if you know where your neighborhood FEMA camp is located.

Excellent question! Next time the jackbooted gummint thugs and UN black helicopters descend, I would like to know where I can go to wave at my loved ones through the barbed wire (just like in Red Dawn, remember?) Here’s what he says about Tennessee:

TENNESSEE

Ft. Campbell – Next to Land Between the Lakes; adjacent to airfield and US Alt. 41.Millington – Federal prison camp next door to Memphis Naval Air Station.Crossville – Site of WWII German / Italian prison camp is renovated; completed barracks and behind the camp in the woods is a training facility with high tight ropes and a rappelling deck.Nashville – There are two buildings built on State property that are definitely built to hold prisoners. They are identical buildings – side by side on Old Briley Parkway. High barbed wire fence that curves inward.

Fascinating. These are very cryptic instructions, but ones I noticed that were taken from the US Concentration Camp Locator, no doubt another pack of conspiracy loons and nutters who’ve spent too much time listening to the static on their short-waves.

First of all, let me say: as someone who lived and worked at Land Between The Lakes and explored just about every inch of the place, there are no FEMA camps on LBL property. There are regular old campgrounds and a facility used for summer camps. But no FEMA camps. If there are, they’re underground (or under water).

Highway 41-A is miles and miles and miles from LBL, by the way. There’s no “adjacent to 41-A and LBL.” The highway turns into Ft. Campbell, the big military base, and there’s a lot of military land between 41-A and LBL. Is there a prison camp there? I have no idea. Probably. It’s a damn military base. Saying there’s a prison at a military base is like saying there’s tuna fish at Kroger.

As for the Nashville site, I was trying to figure out from the vague directions where they’re talking about. Briley Parkway is a highway that makes a nearly complete circle around the city. Interestingly, it does traverse through state-owned land with some actual prisons on it. Riverbend, aka the Tennessee state pen, is here. So is the Tennessee Prison For Women as well as juvenile facilities. They’re all located along Briley Parkway north of the city. I used to volunteer at the prison so I’m pretty familiar with it. So yes, there are prisons here, but ones that hold actual offenders. But none seem to meet the description of “two identical buildings, side by side” surrounded by barbed wire. I mean, there are a dozen buildings up there surrounded by barbed wire.

The US Concentration Camp locater offered a helpful link to Google maps, which I followed, but it seemed to take me to the dam at Percy Priest Lake, which is Army Corps of Engineers, not state property. And no identical buildings or barbed wire, just a fence to keep you from jumping into the dam.

So count me disappointed that at least two of Tennessee’s alleged FEMA camps seem to be a big bust. Where are your FEMA camps?

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Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory

Hillary’s Head Injury Glasses

Karl Rove opened his yap and some stupid fell out and we’re all supposed to be shocked? No one is shocked, certainly not the Big Dog:

Former president Clinton obliterated the former Bush’s brain. Clinton said, “I got to give him credit, you know that embodies that old saying, ‘Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.’First they say she faked her concussion, now they say she’s auditioning for a part on The Walking Dead. She works out every week, she is strong, she’s doing great. As far as I can tell she’s in better shape than I am now…I was sort of dumbfounded. You can’t get too upset about it — it’s just the beginning, they’ll get better and better at it. I’m still waiting for them to admit there was nothing in White Water.”

Of course they’ll get better at it. They’re still trying to find something in #Benghazzzzziiii, too. I’m sure in about six months we’ll see the Regnery Publishing start churning out its Jerome Corsi-penned Benghazi exposes (yours free with your subscription to WingNut Daily!).

It’s unbelievable to me that the news media is even bothering to play along. Look, folks. Let me make it real simple for you: when Karl Rove starts trying to delegitimize the presumptive Democratic nominee with a crackpot conspiracy theory, this tells you everything you need to know about every single conspiracy furball the right has ever coughed up about the Clintons, President Obama, etc. Because much as the establishment Republican Party would like to pretend that birtherism, FEMA camps, Clinton’s serial rapist past, John Kerry’s Vietnam War record, etc. are all promulgated by some fringe on the extreme right (that they have nothing to do with!), clearly it’s all been coordinated from the heart of the GOP.

Karl Rove just tipped his hand because he forgot we live in an age where there are no secrets anymore. They’re trying to delegitimize any Hillary Clinton candidacy/presidency based on a weird conspiracy theory that they’ve just started.

Let the chain emails to Aunt Edna and Uncle Elmer fly.

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Filed under 2016 Presidential Election, conspiracy theory, Hillary Clinton, Karl Rove, Republican Party

Super Bowl Derp Alert v2.0

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha……

JonesIllyuminati

I see a lot of Infowars bumper stickers plastered on road signs from coast to coast, in my own neighborhood and in my travels (here’s a sample from last summer). I have to wonder what kind of loon would spend their money and time on such an endeavor.

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Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory, Music & politics, pop culture

Obamacare Fearmongering In One Screen Shot

I went to Snopes today, you know, the place that debunks internet rumors? I was looking for something else but while I was there I did a search for “Obamacare.”

Here’s what I got:

Obamacare

Microchips? Forced home inspections? I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

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Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory, health insurance, healthcare

Racist “Rallies” Coming To Middle Tennessee

[UPDATE] 2:

In case I haven’t made myself abundantly clear, I am under zero obligation to provide an open forum for hate speech here. Racists and members of the League of Extraordinarily White Southern Whites can get their own damn blogs. You’re not welcome here.

————————————

[UPDATE]:

Welcome, Wonketteers!

————————————

I hesitate to use the word “rallies” because these events tend to draw in the tens not hundreds these days. But lookie what’s coming to Murfreesboro and Shelbyville:

Tenn_demonstration_Oct_2013

Maybe that racist Red Lobster customer was just scouting locations for this event. /snark

We’re getting an awful lot of this activity in Tennessee these days. What is it about Tennessee that draws the hatemongers out of the woodwork? Thinking … thinking ….

Anyway, you can read all about it here, but if you’re a sane person who doesn’t want to click on over to The League of the South, I’ve done it for you and posted some excerpts. Apparently these loons seem to think the U.S. is waging war in brown countries so they can bring the refugees over here and “dehomogenize” our communities, because George W. Bush and Barack Obama all hate white people or something. I dunno, doesn’t make a lot of sense but here ya go:

Southern nationalists are going to make the case that what the US Federal Government is doing, with the full support of Left-wing groups and the US media, is morally wrong. It is displacing a unique people and culture. It is replacing one people with another, actively opposing the interests of Southerners. And it is funding this action with the tax money of the people of Tennessee and at the same time restricting their right of free speech and free association. The entire fiasco is wrong and immoral. We invite those concerned about these troubling developments to stand with us in Tennessee. Make your voice heard; don’t passively accept being replaced in your own land.

The event will be held on 12 October in Murfreesboro and Shelbyville. We will meet for a pre-demonstration briefing the morning of 12th at 9 AM in the parking lot of Best Western Plus in Shelbyville, where we are staying (see information below on lodging). From there we will travel to Murfreesboro. More information will be forthcoming on the exact area where we will gather to hold the demonstration in Murfreesboro. After the Murfreesboro, TN demonstration we will head back to nearby Shelbyville, TN, enjoy dinner together, spread the word about Southern demographic displacement there and then retire for an afternoon of fun and fellowship. One does not have to be a League member to attend the demonstration. We just ask that everyone follow the guidelines we have established for the event.

Your land? Native Americans might have something to say about that. Also, their guidelines are funny. No untucked shirts! No T-shirts! No holes in your jeans, hippie!

And hello, but I think the management and ownership of the Best Western Plus in Shelbyville might want to hear from some folks. I can’t imagine how having the League of the South staying at their establishment and gathering in their parking lot with their hate-filled signs will make their brown-skinned employees feel.

Also, here’s a screen-grab of more of their screed. Notice the use of the Murfreesboro city logo. Are they trying to give the impression that the City of Murfreesboro has endorsed this event?

RACIST RALLIES

As Vince Gill said, if y’all want to know what hate looks like, come on out and see for yourselves.

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Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory, racism, Tennessee

Every Photo Is A Metaphor

Saw this yesterday on our way back from our day on Santa Cruz Island:

DSCN4601

Infowars is that loon Alex Jones’ group. Like the Ron Paulites, Jones’ followers are nothing if not energetic. I see these bumper stickers plastered over utility poles and road signs all over Nashville. How interesting that way out here in Southern California you have the same loons with way too much time on their hands and a love of public rights-of-way. Then again, “tinfoil hate” is a national disease.

I’m not sure that this particular utility pole with all of the “DON’T” signage was the best place to spread their message, however. The message I get is, If you’re tempted to explore any of Alex Jones’ bizarre-o world ideas, don’t.

You know this conspiracy disease has jumped the shark when Donald Trump, that purveyor of the ludicrous, becomes the brand’s most visible spokesloon. This morning we’re enjoying our morning coffee, watching the news, when along comes Donald Trump, newly charged with fraud by the New York Attorney General. It’s all a big conspiracy, see! A “mini-IRS,” he says, pointing to the fact that AG Eric Schneiderman had lunch with President Obama and later that same day the charges are filed! Sure, ’cause we all know fraud cases are put together in a matter of minutes.

/sarcasm.

Darrell Issa’s House hearings start in 5… 4… 3…

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Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory, Donald Trump, travel

It’s All Fun & Games Until Someone Gets Elected

Rick Womick Will Save You From Dastardly UN Goons Trying To Steal Your Stuff

Rutherford County Republican Rick Womick, last seen trying to purge Muslims from our military, has uncovered yet another threat to the republic called “Agenda 21.” But no fear, young patriots: Womick is on the case!

A resolution in the state legislature opposes what is depicted as an insidious United Nations scheme to take away citizens’ property rights through radical environmentalism.

[…]

The proposed resolution says that global political control is one of the intentions of the U.N. program and it is being covertly pushed into local communities through policies that incorporate words like “sustainable development,” “green” or “regional visioning.”

Noooo! Not “regional visioning”! What in the name of Soros could that mean? Tofu Tuesdays? Curbside recycling programs? High-speed rail? Even — gasp! — composting and community gardens?!

* SIRENS *

To the battlements, young Wolverines!

If you’re wondering where Womick got the crackpot idea that this stuff is part of a nefarious UN plot, well, read on:

Parts of the resolution word-for-word are found in a model Stop Agenda 21 bill that the John Birch Society offers on its website. The 54-year-old organization, which opposed the Civil Rights Act, fights efforts that include what it paints as a conspiracy under way to impose one-world government.

The resolution, which equates Agenda 21 with socialism and communism, endorses rejection of the program’s “radical policies” and “any grant monies attached to it.”

Rep. Rick Womick of Rutherford County, one of the resolution’s sponsors, said Tuesday that the U.N. created multiple political subdivisions and independent shadow organizations in a stealth move to work with towns and cities and undermine rights.

He said the “grandiose plan” is meant to stop economic growth and includes telling people they must, for instance, set aside wetlands or regulate against urban sprawl.

“It’s about taking property rights away from people,” said Womick, R-Rockvale. “People are fed up with government interfering with their lives.”

Oh, riiight. You know, don’t even get me started on the whole “government interfering with peoples’ lives” bullshit, because our legislators are perfectly happy to stick their noses into my business when it suits them: all that stuff about birth control and abortion and what people do in their bedrooms and who they do it with? Tennessee Republicans have no problems with any of that stuff, that’s freedom! But green initiatives? Communism!

The radical John Birch Society was founded to stop communism in 1958. You know what? Communism is dead. You guys won, woohoo, goodie for you. Now fold up your chairs, box up the mimeograph machine, and be sure to turn off the Bunn ’cause it’s time to go home. But no, these groups never die. They just start looking for new boogeymen so they can continue to fleece the gullible of their money. Fear sells and there’s always some asshole willing to buy.

And before you point your fingers and laugh at the rubes in Tennessee, read this Mother Jones article from last year, which tells of Agenda 21 paranoia spreading around Tea Party circles all across the country. Hate to break it to you, dear readers, but you’ve probably got some of this nonsense percolating through your state’s legislature, too.

I first got wind of the anti-UN tin-foil hatters back in the ’90s when I worked in the communications office at a federally-owned national recreation area. I happened to answer the phone when a guy at a low-wattage radio station I’d never heard of called. He wanted someone from the park to appear on his radio show to talk about how we’d ceded control of our site to the United Nations; he said the UN actually owned this park. Of course, we’d done no such thing.

Turns out this crazy idea stemmed from the fact that we had a unique ecosystem on site that had been included in the UN’s biosphere reserve program. All that meant was that we had been recognized for having a globally significant ecosystem and that wildlife biologists could study and share information with the international scientific community about it. But don’t tell that to conspiracy nuts like Henry Lamb, who see a UN goon squad behind every tree. Anyway, I laughed and told the guy we weren’t interested.

Yes, this stuff used to be relegated to the fringes of the AM radio dial and the mutterings of crazy people on downtown street corners. Now it’s been mainstreamed. How did the black helicopter crowd get so much influence and power? I blame an uneducated, fearful public who votes for uneducated, fearful politicians like Rick Womick. I blame a news media which treated the Teatards like the neatest thing since sliced bread, ignoring the Dirty Fucking Hippies who pointed out that the Tea Party was just warmed-over John Birch Society crackpots. Yeah, this stopped being funny when the idiots started getting elected to office.

Look, it is absolutely crazy to think sustainability initiatives are some kind of UN conspiracy. Here’s something else I don’t get: how come international cooperation under the guise of the United Nations is demonized as some kind of New World Order crap, but under the guise of economic forums like the G8 it’s perfectly fine?

And I mean, really? One World Order? Are you people serious? You can’t get the UN to agree on an order at Starbucks without three years’ worth of intensive negotiations. Do you seriously think this notoriously unwieldy and largely powerless group can take over the world? That’s not just delusional, it’s embarrassing.

And you know what else is embarrassing? That this crazy conspiracy has made it all the way into our state legislature.

I really don’t get what these people are thinking (or drinking .. or smoking). But they need to be laughed back into their secret hideouts. And they need to be replaced by sane leaders who live in the real world and get their information from fact-based sources, not WorldNet Daily and John Birch Society newsletters.

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Filed under conspiracy theory, environment, Tennessee, TNGOP, United Nations

You Thought Birthers Were Bad?

Meet the latest conspiracy theory to make its way around the right-wing nutosphere: you know those Tucson shootings that killed six people and seriously wounded Rep. Gabriel Giffords back in January? Yeah, they were all an evul librul hoax!

I guess that Federal judge and 8-year-old girl and the rest didn’t really die, they just decided to live on the island of Palau for the rest of their lives. Or something.

Even worse: some of these nutters are actually harassing survivors and first responders to prove their crackpot delusions are real:

FBI spokesman Manuel Johnson said the bureau was aware of the site, but he declined to say whether an investigation was under way. One shooting victim said he recently notified the FBI after two men claiming to be investigators showed up at his home and said they were trying to determine whether the shooting was a hoax.

“They tried to get into my home,” said the victim, who asked that he not be identified because it might attract more such visitors. “They wanted to know if I had any pictures. They said they didn’t believe the event took place.”

When the visitors were pressed for identification, the victim said, one presented a business card that listed the Texas conspiracy site, which describes the shooting as an exercise conducted by the Department of Homeland Security. Others connected to the case, including hospital personnel, relatives of victims and possible trial witnesses, have either received similar visits or seen their images on the group’s website, officials said.

The site, which solicits donations from visitors to help with its “investigation,” shows pictures of people who appeared on television after the shooting — including the suspect, Jared Loughner — and claims they resemble photographs of Tucson-area actors.

And, oh my God. The article says the hoax theory is being peddled by one Ed Chiarini. A quickie Google search dug up this bio; he’s a self-described “Constitutionalist” and yes, there is of course the de rigeur Tennessee connection: the guy is from Millington.

Apparently Chiarini is quite the conspiracy buff, having waded knee-deep into a bunch of Kennedy assassination crap. Also, according to his bio, he’s really into the free energy stuff and, as also seems typical with the tinfoil-hat crowd, is spelling-challenged.

Get some help, Ed. Start with a good therapist, maybe some medication. Give yourself a break from the internet. Something. You’re delusional.

[UPDATE]:
Here’s what I don’t get about conspiracy theorists. The same people who don’t think the government is capable enough to, say, run an efficient healthcare system, educate our kids, or regulate banks, do think the government can pull off an elaborate, complex hoax involving a lot of planning, foresight, and coverups.

That just makes no sense.

I simply don’t think our government is efficient enough to pull off a 9/11 or fake the moon landing or fake a Tuscon shooting. That said, it doesn’t mean I think our government can perfectly run healthcare either, but I think they’d do a better job than the abject failure that is the private, for-profit system we have now. And if they fuck it up, we can vote them out of office and everything is open to public oversight. Versus a private system over which we have zero control.

So.

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Filed under conspiracies, conspiracy theory