No, But His IQ Test Was Conducted During His Proctology Exam

Cheese and rice, people:

BOISE, IDAHO — An Idaho lawmaker received a brief lesson on female anatomy after asking if a woman can swallow a small camera for doctors to conduct a remote gynecological exam.

The question Monday from Republican state Rep. Vito Barbieri came as the House State Affairs Committee heard nearly three hours of testimony on a bill that would ban doctors from prescribing abortion-inducing medication through telemedicine.

Barbieri later said that the question was rhetorical and intended to make a point.

Dr. Julie Madsen, a physician who said she has provided various telemedicine services in Idaho, was testifying in opposition to the bill. She said some colonoscopy patients may swallow a small device to give doctors a closer look at parts of their colon.

“Can this same procedure then be done in a pregnancy? Swallowing a camera and helping the doctor determine what the situation is?” Barbieri asked.

Madsen replied that would be impossible because swallowed pills do not end up in the vagina.

“Fascinating. That makes sense,” Barbieri said, amid the crowd’s laughter.

Here’s a thought. Before you idiots in the Republican Party try legislating women’s bodies, why don’t you first learn something about them? Or is that too much like work?

Okay, he now says he was trying to get the doctor to testify that colonoscopies aren’t the same as abortions or whatever. I would think that would be patently obvious, but of course you’re dealing with a Republican here. They aren’t “scientists,” as they will frequently remind you.

Idiots.

[UPDATE]:

You know, after giving this more thought, I’m going to come back and say no, I don’t know what the fuck this idiot was trying to say. I’m not sure why swallowing a pill with a tiny camera for a colonoscopy (which, near as I can tell, is by no means the standard practice for these routine exams anyway) would preclude a tiny camera being put on the tip of a tampon or whatever. I mean, we all know how transvaginal ultrasounds work. Surely Idaho already has one of those vaginal probe abortion bills on the books — we do in Tennessee. Why he thought a tiny ingestible camera would be his “ah-ha” moment, I have no clue.

You know, my advice for you Republicans is to just shut up about women’s stuff. You continually make fools of yourself.

SHOCKED To Find Gambling In This Establishment

Conservatives are finally learning that grifters gotta grift and a whole lot of them are doing it on their side of the aisle. Hilarious.

I love this:

For example, did you know that despite the fact that it raised a staggering 13 million dollars, The National Draft Ben Carson for President isn’t affiliated with Ben Carson and the small percentage of money it spent on independent expenditures didn’t go to him?

I’m sorry but Ben Carson is batshit insane. He’s a loon, barking mad, a total crackpot. If you’re giving money to get this raging narcissist elected president, I don’t feel sorry for you. You’re as divorced from reality as he is.

Sigh. If only someone had seen this coming.

Oh, wait. We did. Hell, we told you Sarah Palin’s teasing “campaigns” are nothing but one giant exercise in graft.

Don’t say we didn’t try to warn you. But no, you were too busy waving your Gadsden flags and screaming about socialism to pay attention.

Sucks to be you.

The Unwashed Free Hand

Proving yet again that Libertarians are morons, I bring you North Carolina “free market” Republican Thom Tillis:

WASHINGTON (AP) — Congressional Republicans are challenging several health regulations, with one senator suggesting restaurants shouldn’t have to make their employees wash their hands after bathroom visits.

Such restaurants would have to prominently disclose their decision, and then would probably would go out of business, said newly elected GOP Sen. Thom Tillis of North Carolina. But they should have that choice, he said.

[…]

“Let them decide” such issues, Tillis said, adding: “That’s probably one where every business that did that would go out of business. But I think it’s good to illustrate the point, that that’s the sort of mentality we need to have to reduce the regulatory burden on this country.”

Um, Okay. So basically you want to get rid of one regulation requiring employees wash their hands and replace it with a different one requiring restaurants post a sign if they opt out. This is preferable how? Because it sounds more shiny, sparkly, free-markety? Really? Because all you’re doing is shifting the “burden” to restaurant consumers, who would then have to hunt around for some sign. Never mind the idea that if you’re going to opt out of a hand-washing regulation, maybe you’ll dodge a sign-posting one, too. We’ll just never know.

This makes my life better how, exactly?

See, this is what’s wrong with Libertarians. They think that the glorious unfettered magical free hand of the market makes everything wonderful when all it really does is burden the general public. You know what? I have a life. I don’t want to have to research every fucking restaurant in town to determine if they’re opting out of certain health regulations or not. I’d much rather have a health department fully staffed with health inspectors who enforce our health laws. If we truly did make our restaurant health regulations optional, I’d never eat out again. Because if you’re going to skirt one, you’ll no doubt skirt all the others. And for fuck sakes, Thom Tillis: a regulation is a goddamn regulation. One isn’t “better” because it sounds more “choicey.”

You people are fucking idiots. Please, let’s keep them as far away from the reins of power as possible.

An Update On The Obama Economy

In October 2012, bajillionaire David Siegel of Westgate Resorts/“Queen of Versailles” fame had some voting advice for his employees, specifically, that hard-working makers like him might not be able to afford to employ the lazy schlubs of Taker America any longer if Obummer were to be re-elected.

At the time I told him to “… just Go Galt and leave us the fuck alone.” Ah yes, that was a righteous, cathartic rant. I feel good all over again just re-reading it.

So now, let’s check in with David Siegel. Is he, as he threatened,

“… in the Caribbean sitting on the beach, under a palm tree, retired, and with no employees to worry about.”

???

Why no, he’s not. In fact, instead of the promised layoffs, he just gave his employees a raise:

“We’re experiencing the best year in our history and I wanted to do something to show my gratitude for the employees who make that possible,” Siegel said in the release, which also said the company would be awarding merit-pay raises for “all eligible team members.”

Well, isn’t that special. Their best year ever! I’m sure it’s all due to David Siegel’s hard work and not one ounce of credit goes to the president’s economic policies.

(h/t, Zandar @ Balloon Juice)

“A Dark Week For Republicans”

Conservative writer Chris Ladd’s 2014 mid-term post-mortem has just now crossed my radar and let me say, he basically echoes what I wrote the day after the midterms: this is good news for Democrats and Republicans actually got quite a spanking.

It’s a great piece so read the whole thing but what’s really interesting is what he has to say about “BENGHAZIIII!!!!!ELEVEN!”

This is an age built for Republican solutions. The global economy is undergoing a massive, accelerating transformation that promises massive new wealth and staggering challenges. We need heads-up, intelligent adaptations to capitalize on those challenges. Republicans, with their traditional leadership on commercial issues should be at the leading edge of planning to capitalize on this emerging environment.

What are we getting from Republicans? Climate denial, theocracy, thinly veiled racism, paranoia, and Benghazi hearings. Lots and lots of hearings on Benghazi.

It is almost too late for Republicans to participate in shaping the next wave of our economic and political transformation. The opportunities we inherited coming out of the Reagan Era are blinking out of existence one by one while we chase so-called “issues” so stupid, so blindingly disconnected from our emerging needs that our grandchildren will look back on our performance in much the same way that we see the failures of the generation that fought desegregation.

Cue the Friday news dump and the shocking news that House Republicans decided Benghazi is not, in fact, Obama’s Katrina:

“An investigation by the Republican-led House Intelligence Committee has concluded that the CIA and U.S. military responded appropriately to the attacks on U.S. facilities in Benghazi, Libya, in 2012,” The Post reported, “dismissing allegations that the Obama administration blocked rescue attempts during the assault or sought to mislead the public afterward.” It also found that while the talking points Susan Rice delivered in the wake of the attack were inaccurate, it was because of conflicting information coming in and not a scheme to hoodwink the public. All the conspiracy theories about a “stand-down order” and whatever else they’ve been talking about on Fox News were emphatically rejected.

I guess the Republicans have decided they have raised all the money, ginned up all the outrage, and generated all of the mailing lists they can from this Fauxtroversy. Midterms are over, mission accomplished. I’d think the sane wing of the Republican Party had decided to dial back the crazy in preparation for 2016, but of course the party of crazy just can’t help themselves. Lindsay Graham is having a hissy, Ted Cruz is full on foamy-mouthed over immigration and will probably revive his demands for a Senate Benghazi witch-hunt … it’s just all too delicious to be believed, and just in time for GOP primaries. Awesome!

Welcoming Our Republican Overlords

Take heart, Democrats. Last night was actually good news. Great news, in fact.

For the next two years the Republican Party will once again remind America that they are completely incapable of governing. Any notion the punditry may hold that Republicans will somehow strike a moderate tone (yes, I’ve actually heard that!) will instantly be dashed by the foamy-mouthed Tea Party rabble-rousers proclaiming their mandate. “I’m not going to be ignored, Dan!”

Nope, there will be no controlling Ted Cruz and his ilk (the best assessment of Cruz I’ve ever read comes from Jon Stewart, who observed the Texas senator “appears to have been bitten by a Machiavellian spider. That dude is distilled ambition.” Yup, couldn’t have said it better myself.) We’ll be treated to two years of debt-ceiling-fighting, Obama-impeachment-loving, Obamacare-repeal-wanting, Benghazi-fear-stoking BS. And in 2016, when the electoral map is as favorable to Democrats as it was for the Republicans this election, we’ll be able to not only keep the White House but we’ll also take back the Senate, as a disgusted electorate remembers why they hate Republicans. This time we’ll get a filibuster-proof majority, too.

So, that’s my take on things. Bring it on, Republicans. And maybe, maybe, Democrats will finally learn how to run on their accomplishments, instead of running from them.

Meanwhile, there was a lot of good news out of election night:

• Tough gun control measures easily won in Washington State.

• In Tennessee, voters overwhelmingly approved ballot measures allowing sales of wine in grocery stores. We will need this as we ponder the cognitive dissonance that returned abortion-for-me-but-not-for-thee hypocrite Scott DesJarlais to Washington while at the same time passing the anti-choice Amendment 1 constitutional amendment.

• Minimum wage increases passed in Arkansas, Illinois, South Dakota and Nebraska.

• Personhood amendments failed in Colorado and North Dakota. This is the third time Colorado voters have said no to this crackpot idea, by the way.

So, it wasn’t all bad news. Take heart!

Republicans, Make Up Your Damn Minds, Already

[UPDATE]:

HA HA HA HA HA:

Sen. Rand Paul’s letter to Harry Reid about blocking Surgeon General nominee Dr. Murthy over gun control:

Full text at the link. My trolls who keep trying to blame Democrats for the stuff Republicans are doing can go fuck themselves.

—————————————————————————-

Proving yet again that there is literally nothing President Obama can do to please Republicans, Sen. Lamar Alexander is not happy with President Obama’s pick for “Ebola Czar.” (Keep in mind, the hissy fits/impeachment threats conservatives had over Obama’s so-called “Czars” in the first place make their current call for an Ebola Czar especially hypocritical):

“I had in mind a cabinet-level official with the skills of a four-star general or admiral who had a broad public health background and would be accountable to Congress. That kind of action would give Americans confidence about our government’s response to Ebola.”

Hmm … someone like, maybe, the Surgeon General we don’t have because the Republicans are too scared of the gun lobby to approve Dr. Vivek H. Murthy?

Honestly, I truly believe that President Obama could personally develop a cure for Ebola, cancer, and stupidity all in one tasty, affordable treat — but the GOP would complain that it’s gluten-free.