Category Archives: Tea Party

Today’s RW Freakout: Obama Is Never, Ever, Ever Going To Leave!


Y’all, Rand Paul is on it!


Oh, Texas. You make me laugh. You make me cry. But mostly, you make me laugh:

For a made-up military mission, Jade Helm 15 is impressively elaborate: The two-month simulation planned for this summer spans much of the Southwest, requiring special forces from four branches of the military to carry out covert operations amid “hostile” territory in Texas, Utah and part of California.

In at least one of those states, hostility toward the operation has begun a few months early. Online and at in-person meetings, many Texans have expressed suspicion and outright opposition to the project. Some are understandably worried about how it’ll affect their daily lives, while conspiracy theorists claim it’s an attempt to institute martial law, possibly in collusion with Wal-Mart.


At an information session in Bastrop on Monday, command spokesman Lt. Col. Mark Lastoria fielded questions about whether Jade Helm 15 will involve bringing foreign fighters from the Islamic State to Texas, whether U.S. troops will confiscate Texans’ guns and whether the Army intends to implement martial law, according to the Austin American-Statesman.

“It’s the same thing that happened in Nazi Germany: You get the people used to the troops on the street, the appearance of uniformed troops and the militarization of the police,” Bastrop resident Bob Wells told the Statesman after the meeting. “They’re gathering intelligence. That’s what they’re doing. And they’re moving logistics in place for martial law. That’s my feeling. Now, I could be wrong. I hope I am wrong. I hope I’m a ‘conspiracy theorist.’”

Is there anything funnier than a bunch of pants-wetting Teanuts, scared that Obummer is never going to leave the White House? Here’s the part I love: it’s all a big fat con-SPEAR-acy and you guys, Wal-mart is in on it!

Multiple Web sites of varying repute also drew a link between the operation and a recent Wal-Mart announcement the chain will be closing five stores, two of them in Texas.

“Are the closed Walmarts being activated as central command for underground operations?” read a headline on IntelliHub, which calls itself the “Civilian Intelligence Agency.”

Two Walmarts in Texas are closing? Well, that just proves it, then! Smoking guns, y’all!

It’s true: when you get to the far reaches of the right wing dial you meet up with the far reaches of the left wing dial. I distinctly remember in 2006 and 2007, far-lefties fearmongered that George W. Bush was going to declare martial law and never leave the White House. I remember some people pointing to the use of Blackwater security forces in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina as “training exercises” for the coming martial law.

There is one huge difference between left wing nutjobs fearmongering about Bush and Teanuts fearmongering about Obama. When the left did it, nobody paid attention. It happened off in some dark corner of the internet where those of us who noticed just laughed; the mainstream of America had no clue it was going on. There weren’t Washington Post and CBS Morning News stories about it. It wasn’t addressed at the daily White House press briefing.

And there certainly wasn’t a response by the governor of one of the country’s largest states. But Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has ordered the Texas National Guard to monitor the exercise. Hilarious.

I find that so interesting. When right-wingers needlessly crap their pants over some ludicrous conspiracy theory, everyone jumps to attention. When left-wingers do the same thing, no one even notices it. I don’t think it’s because right-wing freakouts are more legitimate than left-wing ones, I just think it’s a sign of how the Republican Party in general has been completely co-opted by the crazy train known as the Tea Party. Gov. Abbott is a Teanut, so of course when the Alex Jones set starts donning their tinfoil hats, he’s going to follow suit. And that gets the attention of the national news media.

It’s just another signal that one of our two major political parties in America is completely batshit insane.


Filed under fear porn, Tea Party

They Are Children

Arkansas’ Tea Party Senator Tom Cotton, showing yet again that he’s not ready for prime time, decided to call the Iranian foreign minister a coward on Twitter:


We all know that Cotton is an idiot, but this reaches a new level of hilarity. A United States Senator calling the Iranian foreign minister a coward on social media? What are you, 10 years old? Is this seriously how you think the U.S. Senate should address foreign policy issues?

So much for “the world’s greatest deliberative body.” Tea Party idiots like Cotton have it resembling a schoolyard.


Filed under Republicans, Tea Party

SHOCKED To Find Gambling In This Establishment

Conservatives are finally learning that grifters gotta grift and a whole lot of them are doing it on their side of the aisle. Hilarious.

I love this:

For example, did you know that despite the fact that it raised a staggering 13 million dollars, The National Draft Ben Carson for President isn’t affiliated with Ben Carson and the small percentage of money it spent on independent expenditures didn’t go to him?

I’m sorry but Ben Carson is batshit insane. He’s a loon, barking mad, a total crackpot. If you’re giving money to get this raging narcissist elected president, I don’t feel sorry for you. You’re as divorced from reality as he is.

Sigh. If only someone had seen this coming.

Oh, wait. We did. Hell, we told you Sarah Palin’s teasing “campaigns” are nothing but one giant exercise in graft.

Don’t say we didn’t try to warn you. But no, you were too busy waving your Gadsden flags and screaming about socialism to pay attention.

Sucks to be you.


Filed under conservatives, Republican Party, scam, Tea Party

A Losing Message

Here’s a picture of a campaign sign in front of a polling place near my house:

We Said No To Saying No

We Said No To Saying No

This is an anti-immigrant, bigoted message. And it is the message that lost, big-time, state-wide on Thursday. It’s the same message that was rejected by Tennesseans four years ago when they said no to Ron Ramsey for governor. This is the same message that lost, big-time, in Nashville five years ago when Eric Crafton’s English Only effort went down in flames. It’s a message that begins with racist whackjob John Tanton and filters down into his various front groups like NumbersUSA and the Center For Immigration Studies and FAIR.

I wonder when far-right Republicans will give up on this message? Probably never. Because the constant drumbeat of immigrant-bashing on Fox News and Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity has given the far-right fringe the mistaken idea that this idea works. They think, “People agree with this message. This is the message I need to repeat. This needs to be my position.”

What they forget is that the Rush Limbaugh Show, Sean Hannity and Fox News are trying to win a ratings game, not an election. It is in their interests to be outrageous, inflammatory, even controversial. What we learned this week, what we learn every election, is that politicians playing to the Rush/Fox crowd by aping their messaging are going to lose. Even in Tennessee.


Filed under immigration, Republican Party, Tea Party, Tennessee

Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer Asshole

Buh-bye, Eric Cantor. Lost his primary to a completely off-the-rails Teanut named David Brat.

I heard Brat on Chuck Toad Todd’s show this morning and he dished up some word salad that never had a coherent point. Chuck patted him on the head and told him to run along. So excuse me if I can relish in the delicious comeuppance of both the hated Chuck Todd and the wretched Eric Cantor.

Seriously, I have to wonder: it’s not like Cantor is some hippie. You don’t get much further to the right. Yet nobody saw this coming? How did this upset happen? Virginia has open primaries: did Democrats cross over and skew the results? (Yes, I still hate open primaries, always and forever. Pick a side. If you can’t, then wait for the general and you get to pick your candidate then. You do not get to pick my candidate if you aren’t in my party).

I just find that really hard to believe. My understanding is that the Democratic candidate, Mike Dickinson, is not endorsed by the Virginia Democratic Party and is something of a weirdo. In fact, he apparently missed the filing deadline to be on the Democratic ticket. So if he runs at all, it will have to be as an independent.

Cantor basically engineered the gridlock which has ground all of the peoples’ business to a halt. If Eric fucking Cantor is too liberal for Virginia Republicans, you just gotta wonder … It’s hard to see this as anything other than a big victory for the Tea Party. For a movement which has seen precious few of them of late, it’s a good reminder that there are still hotbeds of knuckle-dragging Know-nothings out there.

And Republicans: you have only yourselves to blame for this one. You gerrymandered yourselves into a Tea Party conundrum. Congratulations.


So evidently the candidate is Jack Trammel.


Filed under Congress, Tea Party

Controlling The Beast


In a warning shot to outside conservative groups, the National Republican Senatorial Committee this week informed a prominent Republican advertising firm that it would not receive any contracts with the campaign committee because of its work with a group that targets incumbent Senate Republicans.

Even more striking, a senior official at the committee called individual Republican Senate campaigns and other party organizations this week and urged them not to hire the firm, Jamestown Associates, in an effort to punish them for working for the Senate Conservatives Fund, a group founded by Jim DeMint, then a South Carolina senator, that is trying to unseat Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the Republican leader, and some other incumbents up for re-election next year whom it finds insufficiently conservative.

Thus the civil war inside the Republican Party has spread into the politico-industrial complex. I’m trying to think how blacklisting contractors who work for Tea Party candidates will do anything constructive. Aside from inflaming the base, isn’t that kinda going after low-hanging fruit?

What about the sugar daddies financing these folks? It’s fine to go after an ad agency, but what about the people paying the bills? What about the Koch Brothers or people like Nashville’s own Lee Beaman, a generous contributor to affiliated groups like the Club For Growth (a major backer of Ted Cruz) and Americans For Prosperity. Wonder if any of these people will get their hands slapped? It doesn’t sound like it.

The problem with the Republican Party, as I’ve written a gazillion times, is that the moderates are already extinct from a functional perspective. Even the most reasonable Republican imaginable, once elected, ends up playing on the same team as the knuckle-dragging Neanderthals who remain stubbornly committed to failed policies and ignorant ideas like “defaulting on our debt is just a pin-prick.” Time and time again we see the so-called “moderates” kow-tow to the mouthbreathers; this is how we ended up with a shuttered government for two weeks, folks. Even our spineless governor, Bill Haslam, is too weak-kneed to take on the fringe.

I’m reminded of a quote from a book I read years and years ago — I think it was Asne Seierstad’s The Bookseller Of Kabul — where a Pakistani man says he doesn’t support the brutal tactics of the Taliban in nearby Afghanistan, but he thinks Pakistan could benefit from “just a little bit of the Taliban.”

But there is no “little bit.” It’s all or nothing. And it’s the same with today’s Republicans. There’s no “little bit of the Tea Party,” it’s the whole thing. They just shut down the entire government because the moderates are extinct as a party force. That should tell you something right there.

The fact that party leadership still thinks they can control this beast they created without going after the Hydra’s head — the Koch billions — is just pathetic.


Filed under politics, Republican Party, Tea Party

Tea Party Dumbasses

In my neighborhood people are having serious flooding issues from “infill” development — that’s where they tear down one house and put two, three or four on the same lot. Naturally the extra paving and loss of grass causes drainage problems for neighbors and right now Nashville regulations don’t require developments of under 10,000 square-feet to file a stormwater plan. That’s going to change because we’re not fucking idiots in this city, but not if people like my dumbass Tea Party neighbor have their way. My neighbor informed me that city stormwater regs are “big government” and people just need to individually take care of their perimeter and all will be well.

“Build a wall” he said because, really, what could possibly go wrong?

So here’s my suggestion: clearly you people are too dumb for urban living. Why not move out to the country and get yourself 25 acres or so. Something where you can bootstrap yourselves all the livelong day and just pat yourselves on the back for being so self-sufficient and individualistic and all.

Then you won’t have to worry about living in close quarters with neighbors, unless of course your neighbors happen to be Muslims, and then you can pop your copy of the Constitution in the shredder and eminent domain yourselves silly.


Filed under Nashville, religion, Tea Party, Tennessee