Category Archives: War On Christmas

>Holiday Hilarity, TDS-Style

>The Daily Show traces the history of the War On Christmas as only they can, starring Roger Ailes as The Grinch. Hilarious!

<td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;' colspan='2'The Gretch Who Saved the War on Christmas
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Things That Aren’t In The Bible, Holiday Edition

The following parts of the Christmas story are not in the Bible: Mary riding a donkey to Bethlehem, an innkeeper, a stable where Jesus was born, three Kings, camels, and singing angels. Oh, and also, the date of December 25.

None of it is there.

The Bible does not say that Mary rode a donkey, just that she gave birth while she was in Bethlehem. She could have been there for months.

It says Jesus was laid in a manger “because there was no room for them in the inn.” But no stable or innkeeper are mentioned.

Luke’s gospel makes reference to “shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.” This would have happened in the spring months, not December. And there was one angel appearing to the shepherds–one. And Luke writes:

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest,

and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

Saying, not singing. And do we know what the “heavenly host” is?

And then we have my favorite Christmas myth: the three kings. No, Virginia, three wise men did not visit the Jesus in a stable on the night of his birth. The Biblical text merely refers to “Magi,” and they visited Jesus months or even years after his birth. It even says in Matthew 2

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea…

After. Not the night of. After. And nowhere does it mention that they rode camels.

It has become so ingrained in our culture’s Christmas narrative, with carols like “We Three Kings” and nativity scenes showing three men wearing crowns and flowing robes bowing before the manger, that this may come as a shock. However, none of that is in the Bible. Even the entire nativity scene is not in the Bible.

The Magi that are mentioned in the Bible a) were not especially wise, b) were not kings, and c) may have numbered two or twenty. They were Persian astrologers (some sources even say sorcerers). And they weren’t all that bright if you ask me because they wandered around Jerusalem, where King Herod’s paranoia was legendary, asking after this newly-born “King of the Jews” so they could worship him.

Not smart. And thanks for unleashing the Massacre of the Innocents. Jerks.

So how’s that for a war on Christmas for you? I find it very interesting that human tradition has supplanted what the Bible actually says about the birth of Christ–even though there are bazillions of Bibles out there for anyone to pick up and read for themselves. We have legal battles and a “War On Christmas” over things like nativity scenes when the nativity scene isn’t even in the Bible!

I’m wondering what else about the Bible is the product of our human traditions?

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>It’s War On Christmas Time!

>Gosh, and here I thought everyone was going skip the formalities this year, what with the recession and two real wars going on. But not ones to disappoint, the American Family Assn. has fired the opening salvo in the annual War On Christmas, calling for a boycott of Gap Inc.:

AFA is calling for a limited two-month boycott of Gap, Old Navy and Banana Republic, the three stores owned by San Francisco-based Gap Inc., over the company’s censorship of the word “Christmas.”

Right. Because one group’s free speech is another group’s censorship.

Last year, Gap issued this politically-correct statement to Christmas shoppers: “Gap recognizes that many traditions are celebrated throughout this season and we feel it is important to display holiday signage that is inclusive to everyone.”



Christmas is special because of Jesus. It’s not just a “winter holiday.” For millions of Americans the giving and receiving of gifts is in honor of the One who gave Himself. For the Gap to pretend that isn’t the foundation of the Christmas season is political correctness at best and religious bigotry at worst.

Yes but for millions more Americans the getting and receiving of gifts is in honor of the secular commercial/consumer event known as “The Holidays” and for the American Family Assn. to pretend otherwise is sheer dishonesty.

Sorry but launch all the boycotts you like, that bell won’t be unrung. You will, however, present yourselves as a bunch of religious bigots that no one save a bunch of old Scrooges would want to be associated with.

Because nothing celebrates the birth of the Prince of Peace like an old-fashioned culture war.

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>War On Christmas, Southern Beale Style

>Believe it or not, there are still people in my neighborhood who have Christmas wreaths on their doors and Christmas lights on their homes. Quite a few, in fact. I don’t ever remember seeing this much Christmas decor up so late into the new year.

Come on, people. You know who you are. Time to take the Christmas crap down, already. Have you looked at a calendar lately? It’s near March Madness, fer crying out loud.

Take the Christmas stuff down or I’m going to start taking some names. And yes, those single candle lights in the window thingies count.

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>The War On Christmas Is ON!

>And Focus On The Family has fired the opening salvo: their “naughty and nice” list:

On Thursday the Colorado Springs-based ministry’s political action arm launched its second-annual holiday campaign by posting an online shoppers guide with three categories: “Christmas-friendly” retailers, “Christmas-negligent” retailers and “Christmas-offensive” retailers.

The “friendly” retailers are so designated because they prominently use “Merry Christmas” and other Christmas-specific references in their catalogs and in-store promotions. Those on the Christmas-offensive list use secular phrases such as “happy holidays” and have “apparently abandoned” the use of the word “Christmas,” Focus said. Christmas-negligent companies “marginalize” their message by using “Christmas” in some cases and “holidays” in others.

Honestly, with retailers facing “the worst consumer environment since World War II” I really don’t think anyone cares what the Christmas Nazis have to say this year. Businesses are fighting to keep their doors open, families are struggling to put food on the table, senior citizens are choosing which medication they can afford, and all you phony Christians at FoF can worry about is what words are used to advertise the holiday season?

Pffft.

No wonder Focus On The Family faces its own round of layoffs. Truly I say unto you: Focus on your own damn business.

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>Pop Fizzle

>[UPDATE]:

GWOC (Great War On Christmas) news, Kentucky edition:

“In the one-hour debate, the candidates, both 60, battled on issues including the economy, the Ohio River Bridges Project, health care, the Iraq war, energy and even how Yarmuth should have voted on a federal resolution. “He did not vote for a resolution honoring Christmas,” Northup said.

Oh, my. Stop him before he strikes again.
—————————–
Jeepers, people, is it war on Christmas season already?

Town’s parade draws fire for dropping ‘Christmas’

PATCHOGUE, N.Y. (AP) — A famed fireworks company is pulling out of a holiday boat parade because “Christmas” was dropped from the event’s name.

Fireworks by Grucci won’t lend its sparkle to Patchogue’s Nov. 23 parade — decorated yachts on the Patchogue River — because the organizers have renamed it the Patchogue Holiday Boat Parade. It was the Patchogue Christmas Boat Parade last year, when the Grucci company donated $5,000 worth of fireworks.

The company’s vice president, Philip Butler, who has criticized the secularization of Christmas in the past, said parade organizers were “using all the themes of Christmas and plagiarizing all those themes.”

Organizers in the Long Island town said the parade has had several names over its roughly 15-year existence. The name was changed again this year after complaints that the use of “Christmas” seemed to make the parade less inclusive.

“When I think about fireworks, I don’t think about Christmas anyway,” Mayor Paul Pontieri said. “I think about the Fourth of July.”

This story surprised me because I actually am familiar with the Grucci fireworks company. Back in another lifetime I worked for an entertainment trade paper and had the opportunity to meet Mr. Butler as well as members of the Grucci family at trade shows and such. Grucci is also one of the world’s largest fireworks companies, producing pyrotechnic extravaganzas at some major national and international events, including the presidential inaugurations of Reagan, Clinton and both Bushes.

This is a big company. They never struck me as the kind of people that would pull out of an event just to make a political statement, but I guess the rancorous past eight years have changed all that. Yet another Bush-era legacy: we have to argue about every little thing these days.

I don’t know why anyone would get their panties in a wad over words like “Christmas” or “Holiday.” Either one works for me, I really don’t give a shit. I certainly wouldn’t trash my legendary company’s good name over it. And I find it really hilarious that folks complaining over the “secularization of Christmas” are the same people providing fireworks at a Christmas boat parade. I mean, dude, a boat parade? Like it’s a holy event or something? If you don’t get the irony there then I’ve got nothing more for you.

Anyway, it’s a shame. The Gruccis are nice people. They’ve put on some amazing fireworks displays over the years, both big and small. It’s just too bad to see them get all involved in this “war on Christmas” crap, especially when there’s so much more important stuff for us to be worrying about right now.

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>Attention Walmart Shoppers

>What cheapens the meaning of Christmas more: someone greeting you with “Happy Holidays!” or this:

Talking Jesus Action Figure Sells Out At Walmart

If you were planning on getting a Talking Jesus Action Figure this Christmas (or whatever) you’re almost out of luck. Walmart has completely sold out of the toy and Target.com has “very limited supply,” according to the manufacturer’s spokesperson, Joshua Livingston.

According to the Dallas Morning News, “almost 20 percent of the Wal-Mart stores that sell Talking Jesus are in Texas.” Why does that not surprise me?

Note to conservative Christians: if you’re worried about a perceived “war on Christianity,” and you’re selling a talking Jesus action figure, you’ve already lost!

Lord protect us from these fools who insist on making money from the Christian faith. Religion is not a money-maker–at least, it shouldn’t be, not if you’re doing the “religion” part right.

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>Is It War On Christmas Season Already?

>Seems like the War On Christmas comes earlier and earlier. On Thursday night Bill O’Reilly and his guest, Denver radio talker Dan Caplis, fired the first shot:

O’Reilly’s target last night was a decision by the Fort Collins, Colorado City Council to celebrate the holiday season with “an educational museum display, plain wreaths and garlands on city property, and trees with white lights” rather than traditional Christmas decorations such as trees with “colored lights.”
[ … ]
DAN CAPLIS: Yes. Well, Bill, this is horrible. I mean, this should be a wake-up call to every member of your audience. If this kind of attack on American values can happen in Fort Collins, it can happen everywhere.

You have this arrogant minority that wants to go to the point of stripping away Christmas trees and colored lights. I mean, this sounds like something out of the old Soviet Union. And people need to be very aware.

This group on the left is mobilized. They’re sophisticated. They’re determined. And if you don’t stand up and fight for your culture, they will take it away from you.

You gotta fight .. for your right … to colored Christmas lights!

I used to wish that O’Reilly and his fellow Christmas Warriors would just have a steaming cup of STFU, but the entertainment value is too rich. With Hollywood writers on strike, I think Bill O’Reilly offers us some much needed comedy gold.

So fight on, Christmas warriors, fight on! This tune’s just for you!

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>Warren Christmas

>Gee, and I barely had time to say Happy Islamofascist Awareness Week! Yes, it’s holiday time, folks, and if there’s a pesky liberal in your neighborhood, the folks at WingNut WorldNet Daily have the perfect answer: Christmas-defense kits, available in their online store. What better way to celebrate the season than with a magnetic bumper sticker that reads “This is America! And I’m going to say it: ‘Merry Christmas!'” Oh, heck, splurge — the variety pack is on sale for just $14.95. And the “Operation: Just Say ‘Merry Christmas” rubber bracelet is the perfect holiday accessory.

As the WorldNet daily folks say, “Buy one, buy 25, buy 50!” But that’s not all.. there’s MORE! No, it’s not a Ginsu knife. It’s this:

And, if you think it’s just too early to worry about the anti-Christmas onslaught, go on the offensive now and proclaim the true meaning of Thanksgiving. After all, it’s not really about pilgrims and turkeys — it’s about thanking God for all the blessings in our lives.

Ka-chiiiing!!!!

(h/t, ThinkProgress)

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