Category Archives: weather

Truthers, Hurricane Matthew Edition

The right-wing is losing its shit over Hurricane Matthew because, I dunno, hurricanes hardly happen or something? That seems to be the gist of it, and I don’t get it.

Let’s hear from the Least Trusted Names In News, shall we?

First we have Matt Drudge claiming that hurricane reports have been overplayed “to make an exaggerated point on climate,” and doubting reports from the US National Hurricane Center because, I guess, government bad, arrgle barrgle.

This special brand of stupid has been shared by Rush Limbaugh, who is also doubting the National Hurricane Center, simply because it’s a government agency:

‘It’s in the interest of the left to have destructive hurricanes because then they can blame it on climate change, which they can desperately continue trying to sell,’ he said on his show.

This is what happens when your disdain for government and science collide.

Inside the conspiracy kitchen at Infowars they’re cooking up rumors about Black Lives Matter planning to loot white neighborhoods:

A quick Twitter search reveals dozens of messages posted by Americans living in or near the affected areas that brazenly talk about the opportunity for looting that the hurricane will provide.

“God Please let this hurricane hit us so I can do some looting,” tweeted one user.

“So we looting after the hurricane? I do need a new TV & iPhone and some clothes,” added another.

“Ready for hurricane Matthew to hit so I can start looting,” remarked another.

When asked if they would be looting, one Twitter user responded, “yep, but in white neighborhoods.”

Anonymous Tweets are totally verifiable and legit, you guys! I’m sure the folks trying to delegitimize BLM had nothing to do with such social media posts at all! What idiot buys this obviously ginned-up nonsense? This idiot in charge of the Tennessee Republican Party‘s official Twitter account, for one (apparently not the official TNGOP account, on closer inspection):


When challenged on this obviously racist BS, they upped the ante:


Black kids are just gonna loot, amiright? Just can’t help themselves. /sarcasm. Of course, when white kids do it, they’re just “letting off steam.”

But by all means my absolute favorite Hurricane Matthew conspiracy theory is this one courtesy of The Millennium Report, a cesspool of hoaxes and conspiracy theories that makes Infowars look like the New York Times:

If you’re trying to throw a wrench into the Florida State Government, there’s no more effective way than to geoengineer a hurricane and send it northward into the sun-drenched peninsula. Many chemtrail watchers in the state have already noticed a dramatic uptick in the chemical geoengineering operations statewide. Such a development never bodes well for the region’s highly unpredictable weather.


At this point anything can happen. Many of the storms that barrel up the Eastern Seaboard seem to have a mind of their own and often surprise with a punch as they head north to highly populated metro areas of the NE. Given the 2016 election cycle, the politicos at the federal level would love to sow seeds of chaos anyway they can in order to create cover for an election theft. For many reasons the Obama Administration really needs a Clinton victory in order to preserve their legacy of utter destruction. Obama, himself, requires such a Democratic win to simply stay out of prison.

Let’s just leave it there, folks.

You know, it’s all fun and games until someone drowns because they either refused to believe the threat was real or they thought it was more important to stay home and protect their stuff from imaginary looters.

I cannot imagine what goes through the minds of a large chunk of Americans.


Everything old is new again:




Filed under conservatives, conspiracies, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, weather

Solar Panels + Ice + Puppy = Fabulousness

The sheets of ice that had covered our solar panels started to melt this afternoon. They slid off the roof in a loud rumbling whooosh. While I was concerned about getting decapitated by an ice guillotine, I survived and we had the added benefit of chew-safe playtime for the new “puppy.” Willie is now eight months old and is bigger than our full-grown dogs.

I thought this was hilarious:


Filed under Nashville, pets, weather

Black Ice

Chaka and Willie enjoy some playtime.

Chaka and Willie enjoy some playtime.

This morning a local news reporter brought us the sad news of a traffic fatality in which “an SUV hit some black guys.”

Swear to God. Kicking myself for not recording it. This old bit from Key & Peele will have to suffice. Nashville is encased in ice right now. I’m staying home, and if I venture out anywhere it will be on foot.


Filed under Nashville, Tennessee, weather

Dear God But It’s Cold Out There

Here in Nashville the temperature dropped from yesterday’s high of — I shit you not — 58 degrees to seven degrees this morning. All in the space of, what, 12 hours?

It reminds me of that scene from the 2004 movie The Day After Tomorrow where Jake Gyllenhaal is trying to outrun an Arctic super storm which caused the temperature to fall 150 degrees in a matter of minutes. He just barely makes it inside the New York Public Library, where everyone is burning volumes of the New York tax code to stay warm.

So maybe Nashville’s temperature drop wasn’t quite the Hollywood version, but it was pretty extreme. We survived. All the critters were safely indoors last night, though our one outdoor cat doesn’t understand why I can’t change the weather for him. It’s going to reach a balmy eight degrees today and then fall down to two degrees tonight. And I’m not even talking about wind chill, folks. This is baseline temperatures.

All of this has given the dumb-dumbs on the far right a great excuse to guffaw about how global warming can’t be real because, “har har, it’s cold in my backyard and everything is always all about me!” I wonder what they’d say if they were in Australia, which is smashing summer heat records right now? It’s even warmer in Anchorage, Alaska than Nashville. Politics may be local but climate is not.

It’s funny because I remember those same people laughed that the premise of that movie — global warming precipitates a new Ice Age — as just more liberal Hollywood propaganda. Typical! The people who thought Jack Bauer offered a real national security policy expected a big-budget Hollywood summer disaster flick to provide real climate science! Of course the one film which did present actual real climate science — “An Inconvenient Truth” — was also derided by these same dumb-dumbs because Al Gore Is Fat and Tipper didn’t churn her own butter. Now they’re saying because it’s cold in January, global warming is a hoax. Can’t win for losing with these idiots.

Anyway, it’s going to get even colder tonight. Bundle up, folks.


Filed under climate change, Nashville, Tennessee, weather

First Draft Tuesdays

Catch me over there, where I ask if I should change dentists.


Filed under climate change, weather

What Are The Odds

Oh Pat Robertson, great interpreter of all signs Divine, what the hell does it mean that the last two Republican National Conventions have been curtailed by hurricanes? Extra points for this Miami Herald commenter, who thinks he knows the reason:

Isaac will disrupt the RNC longer than a day, because of Romney. The one true God hates the spiritual power behind the Mormon Church, who intends to buy the White House for his cyborg puppet. To gain an existential understanding of the cult that produced Mitt “Cyborg” Romney, and to get your socks scared off, read The Assassination of Spiro Agnew, available at:

Its unwilling, part Mexican, Mormon assassin dramatizes the Mormon superiority complex manifesting as racism, sexism, jingoism and an anti-federal government temperament. His research in the new library reveals ominous similarities between Islam and Mormonism. The spiritual power behind the cult, which is not the Holy Ghost, acts out.

Don’tcha just love it when the crackpots on the conservative fringe turn on each other? Then again, maybe he’s not a crackpot. Maybe this is just a guy hawking his book. But you gotta admit, it’s really weird that two conventions, four years apart and in two completely different parts of the world, would be disrupted by hurricanes.

I wonder if Focus On The Family’s Stuart Shepard is regretting his video about praying for “rain of Biblical proportions” to disrupt Obama’s DNC acceptance speech at Mile High Stadium in 2008? These things have a way of biting you on the ass, folks.


Filed under 2012 presidential election, Republican National Committee, weather

Beelzebub Joins WSMV Weather Team


But Channel 4’s weather report proved even more prescient than the station’s meteorologists could have imagined.

One eagle-eyed viewer caught a glimpse of a terrifying apparition just before the start of the report. Using his DVR to pause the forecast intro at just the right moment, YouTuber PerlAddict was able to determine that the demonic visage he saw was none other than the Devil himself.

Watch it here:

I dunno, is this the best local weather screw-up ever? It’s a pretty tough call; Charlie Neese’s weather penis was pretty awesome, too.


Filed under media, Nashville, weather, WSMV

Christmas In August

I understand Nashville is in the throes of the proverbial “dog days,” all gasping dry heat and parched lawns. This is what we encountered today, August 31:

That’s right, over a foot of snow. Not flurries, but clear-the-shelves-at-Kroger, school-is-cancelled snowshowers. Then again, we were on a glacier. Still, it’s unnerving but also a little delightful. Another glory of travel.


Filed under travel, weather

Famous Last Words: “It Doesn’t Taste Great”

I’m sure everyone is bored with my trip pictures so I thought I’d throw up this item about Fox weatherman Tucker Barnes, who unknowingly got buried in raw sewage while doing the obligatory “hey it’s a hurricane, I think I’ll stand outside in it” story.

I’m trying really hard to tamp down the schadenfreude here but I just can’t. I’m sorry, I’m just not that nice a person.

It’s not that Barnes works for a Fox affiliate (okay, well maybe that’s part of it). Mostly it’s that I find there is nothing stupider than weather “news.” I hate those meaningless Doppler radar color blobs swirling over Bumfug, Tennessee, that the Nashville news stations always preempt regular programming to show us. I think pictures of national news reporters in rain slickers getting buffeted by 80 mph winds to “show” us what a storm looks like are equally stupid.

I think y’all are idiots. People don’t need to see a red splotch from which they are supposed to glean that a storm is coming. If there’s a tornado in a remote section of the WSMV viewing area, then by all means tell people that but please do it on a crawl or a split screen or on a commercial break so those of us not in East Jesus can still watch the regular programming. And sorry you got swamped with raw sewage, Tucker Barnes, but if you don’t have the sense God gave a turnip to get out of the weather, well, serves you right. Because really, at this point these images tell us nothing. So get out of the rain, have some soup, and oh, you might want to get a tetanus shot.

Without further ado (video at the link):

“I don’t know what it is, it has a sort of sandy consistency,” Barnes told Fox’s New York viewers, covered head to tow in what looked like frothy pancake batter.

“It doesn’t taste great,” he said.

Back in his warm and dry station, the MyFoxNY anchor mused, “We’ve never seen anything like it.”

Barnes, struggling to hold onto a boardwalk bench, said he hadn’t either.

“Our chief meterologist back at the station said that it’s some sort of organic matter. I guess it’s plankton or something mixed in with sand and salt,” he said.

“I can tell you first hand that it doesn’t smell great. It feels kind of soapy.”

“Be careful with that weird stuff, okay?” the anchor told him as the WTTG-TV reporter signed off. “That is a bizarre wild substance that is about to bury you.”

MyFoxNY reported later that the mystery foam was raw sewage pouring into the sea and being whipped into a froth by the hurricane’s winds.


Filed under media, Media, weather

Connecting The Dots

Someone has to. Guess it might as well be me.

Nashville, January 2010:

Nashville, May 2010:

It’s not just Nashville. One month ago, floods decimated New England. I don’t remember hearing about those floods in the news, either. But YouTube is full of shocking videos, like this one from Mystic, Connecticut and this one of a Rhode Island shopping mall under two feet of water. A friend who lives out there writes:

One of the worst things we had for weeks was the stench and everyone getting sick from bacteria in the air. Take care of yourself.

Something to look forward to, Nashville.

Drought and floods in India and China have resulted in a global cotton shortage, folks. That means no more cheap $10 T-shirts at WalMart and CostCo, not to mention a shortage of canvas tarps, cotton for industrial use and medical supplies.

It has contributed to the tensions between India and Pakistan. India has halted export of its cotton, forcing two-thirds of Pakistan’s yarn mills to close.

Farmers in Hawaii are cutting back production as much as 40% because of severe drought.

And as I mentioned last winter, there was massive drought in the Southern Hemisphere, causing severe crop loss.

We are 7 billion strong on this planet. Our thirst for oil has led us to interfere in the governments of foreign lands, even wage wars to access oil. Little surprise some people resort to desperate acts of terrorism.

We drill for oil in more extreme, dangerous places. Just one accident has destroyed a major food industry in this country. I doubt there will be much recovery of the shrimp and oyster beds in the Gulf. It’s not just the oil; the chemical dispersants they are using to contain the spill have unknown risks:

Chemical dispersants carry complex environmental trade-offs: helping to keep oil from reaching sensitive wetlands while exposing other sea life to toxic substances. The concoction works like dish soap to separate oil and water, but the exact chemical composition is protected as a trade secret.

Sure. Because where the public health and the continued existence of a major food source are concerned, what’s really important is protecting Dow Chemical’s (or whomever’s) copyright.

Someone in Washington needs to connect these dots. There is a clear and concrete line connecting our fossil fuel addiction, our resource wars, the pollution we are pumping into the atmosphere, our growing population, and the extremes of weather we’ve experienced. And by “we” I do mean that globally. We all cause the problem and we all suffer the consequenes.

We’re all in this together. We all share the same planet.

The cost of our inaction will be more floods, more drought, more political instability and more terrorism. We can get off this hamster wheel now, or we can keep running and running, expecting to get somewhere but not moving one inch. It’s all very plain and obvious to me. I can’t believe it isn’t obvious to anyone else.

It’s all connected, people.


Filed under climate change, energy conservation, Gulf oil spill, weather