Tag Archives: Tea Party

Today’s RW Freakout: Obama Is Never, Ever, Ever Going To Leave!


Y’all, Rand Paul is on it!


Oh, Texas. You make me laugh. You make me cry. But mostly, you make me laugh:

For a made-up military mission, Jade Helm 15 is impressively elaborate: The two-month simulation planned for this summer spans much of the Southwest, requiring special forces from four branches of the military to carry out covert operations amid “hostile” territory in Texas, Utah and part of California.

In at least one of those states, hostility toward the operation has begun a few months early. Online and at in-person meetings, many Texans have expressed suspicion and outright opposition to the project. Some are understandably worried about how it’ll affect their daily lives, while conspiracy theorists claim it’s an attempt to institute martial law, possibly in collusion with Wal-Mart.


At an information session in Bastrop on Monday, command spokesman Lt. Col. Mark Lastoria fielded questions about whether Jade Helm 15 will involve bringing foreign fighters from the Islamic State to Texas, whether U.S. troops will confiscate Texans’ guns and whether the Army intends to implement martial law, according to the Austin American-Statesman.

“It’s the same thing that happened in Nazi Germany: You get the people used to the troops on the street, the appearance of uniformed troops and the militarization of the police,” Bastrop resident Bob Wells told the Statesman after the meeting. “They’re gathering intelligence. That’s what they’re doing. And they’re moving logistics in place for martial law. That’s my feeling. Now, I could be wrong. I hope I am wrong. I hope I’m a ‘conspiracy theorist.’”

Is there anything funnier than a bunch of pants-wetting Teanuts, scared that Obummer is never going to leave the White House? Here’s the part I love: it’s all a big fat con-SPEAR-acy and you guys, Wal-mart is in on it!

Multiple Web sites of varying repute also drew a link between the operation and a recent Wal-Mart announcement the chain will be closing five stores, two of them in Texas.

“Are the closed Walmarts being activated as central command for underground operations?” read a headline on IntelliHub, which calls itself the “Civilian Intelligence Agency.”

Two Walmarts in Texas are closing? Well, that just proves it, then! Smoking guns, y’all!

It’s true: when you get to the far reaches of the right wing dial you meet up with the far reaches of the left wing dial. I distinctly remember in 2006 and 2007, far-lefties fearmongered that George W. Bush was going to declare martial law and never leave the White House. I remember some people pointing to the use of Blackwater security forces in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina as “training exercises” for the coming martial law.

There is one huge difference between left wing nutjobs fearmongering about Bush and Teanuts fearmongering about Obama. When the left did it, nobody paid attention. It happened off in some dark corner of the internet where those of us who noticed just laughed; the mainstream of America had no clue it was going on. There weren’t Washington Post and CBS Morning News stories about it. It wasn’t addressed at the daily White House press briefing.

And there certainly wasn’t a response by the governor of one of the country’s largest states. But Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has ordered the Texas National Guard to monitor the exercise. Hilarious.

I find that so interesting. When right-wingers needlessly crap their pants over some ludicrous conspiracy theory, everyone jumps to attention. When left-wingers do the same thing, no one even notices it. I don’t think it’s because right-wing freakouts are more legitimate than left-wing ones, I just think it’s a sign of how the Republican Party in general has been completely co-opted by the crazy train known as the Tea Party. Gov. Abbott is a Teanut, so of course when the Alex Jones set starts donning their tinfoil hats, he’s going to follow suit. And that gets the attention of the national news media.

It’s just another signal that one of our two major political parties in America is completely batshit insane.


Filed under fear porn, Tea Party

They Are Children

Arkansas’ Tea Party Senator Tom Cotton, showing yet again that he’s not ready for prime time, decided to call the Iranian foreign minister a coward on Twitter:


We all know that Cotton is an idiot, but this reaches a new level of hilarity. A United States Senator calling the Iranian foreign minister a coward on social media? What are you, 10 years old? Is this seriously how you think the U.S. Senate should address foreign policy issues?

So much for “the world’s greatest deliberative body.” Tea Party idiots like Cotton have it resembling a schoolyard.


Filed under Republicans, Tea Party

A Losing Message

Here’s a picture of a campaign sign in front of a polling place near my house:

We Said No To Saying No

We Said No To Saying No

This is an anti-immigrant, bigoted message. And it is the message that lost, big-time, state-wide on Thursday. It’s the same message that was rejected by Tennesseans four years ago when they said no to Ron Ramsey for governor. This is the same message that lost, big-time, in Nashville five years ago when Eric Crafton’s English Only effort went down in flames. It’s a message that begins with racist whackjob John Tanton and filters down into his various front groups like NumbersUSA and the Center For Immigration Studies and FAIR.

I wonder when far-right Republicans will give up on this message? Probably never. Because the constant drumbeat of immigrant-bashing on Fox News and Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity has given the far-right fringe the mistaken idea that this idea works. They think, “People agree with this message. This is the message I need to repeat. This needs to be my position.”

What they forget is that the Rush Limbaugh Show, Sean Hannity and Fox News are trying to win a ratings game, not an election. It is in their interests to be outrageous, inflammatory, even controversial. What we learned this week, what we learn every election, is that politicians playing to the Rush/Fox crowd by aping their messaging are going to lose. Even in Tennessee.


Filed under immigration, Republican Party, Tea Party, Tennessee

Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer Asshole

Buh-bye, Eric Cantor. Lost his primary to a completely off-the-rails Teanut named David Brat.

I heard Brat on Chuck Toad Todd’s show this morning and he dished up some word salad that never had a coherent point. Chuck patted him on the head and told him to run along. So excuse me if I can relish in the delicious comeuppance of both the hated Chuck Todd and the wretched Eric Cantor.

Seriously, I have to wonder: it’s not like Cantor is some hippie. You don’t get much further to the right. Yet nobody saw this coming? How did this upset happen? Virginia has open primaries: did Democrats cross over and skew the results? (Yes, I still hate open primaries, always and forever. Pick a side. If you can’t, then wait for the general and you get to pick your candidate then. You do not get to pick my candidate if you aren’t in my party).

I just find that really hard to believe. My understanding is that the Democratic candidate, Mike Dickinson, is not endorsed by the Virginia Democratic Party and is something of a weirdo. In fact, he apparently missed the filing deadline to be on the Democratic ticket. So if he runs at all, it will have to be as an independent.

Cantor basically engineered the gridlock which has ground all of the peoples’ business to a halt. If Eric fucking Cantor is too liberal for Virginia Republicans, you just gotta wonder … It’s hard to see this as anything other than a big victory for the Tea Party. For a movement which has seen precious few of them of late, it’s a good reminder that there are still hotbeds of knuckle-dragging Know-nothings out there.

And Republicans: you have only yourselves to blame for this one. You gerrymandered yourselves into a Tea Party conundrum. Congratulations.


So evidently the candidate is Jack Trammel.


Filed under Congress, Tea Party

Controlling The Beast


In a warning shot to outside conservative groups, the National Republican Senatorial Committee this week informed a prominent Republican advertising firm that it would not receive any contracts with the campaign committee because of its work with a group that targets incumbent Senate Republicans.

Even more striking, a senior official at the committee called individual Republican Senate campaigns and other party organizations this week and urged them not to hire the firm, Jamestown Associates, in an effort to punish them for working for the Senate Conservatives Fund, a group founded by Jim DeMint, then a South Carolina senator, that is trying to unseat Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the Republican leader, and some other incumbents up for re-election next year whom it finds insufficiently conservative.

Thus the civil war inside the Republican Party has spread into the politico-industrial complex. I’m trying to think how blacklisting contractors who work for Tea Party candidates will do anything constructive. Aside from inflaming the base, isn’t that kinda going after low-hanging fruit?

What about the sugar daddies financing these folks? It’s fine to go after an ad agency, but what about the people paying the bills? What about the Koch Brothers or people like Nashville’s own Lee Beaman, a generous contributor to affiliated groups like the Club For Growth (a major backer of Ted Cruz) and Americans For Prosperity. Wonder if any of these people will get their hands slapped? It doesn’t sound like it.

The problem with the Republican Party, as I’ve written a gazillion times, is that the moderates are already extinct from a functional perspective. Even the most reasonable Republican imaginable, once elected, ends up playing on the same team as the knuckle-dragging Neanderthals who remain stubbornly committed to failed policies and ignorant ideas like “defaulting on our debt is just a pin-prick.” Time and time again we see the so-called “moderates” kow-tow to the mouthbreathers; this is how we ended up with a shuttered government for two weeks, folks. Even our spineless governor, Bill Haslam, is too weak-kneed to take on the fringe.

I’m reminded of a quote from a book I read years and years ago — I think it was Asne Seierstad’s The Bookseller Of Kabul — where a Pakistani man says he doesn’t support the brutal tactics of the Taliban in nearby Afghanistan, but he thinks Pakistan could benefit from “just a little bit of the Taliban.”

But there is no “little bit.” It’s all or nothing. And it’s the same with today’s Republicans. There’s no “little bit of the Tea Party,” it’s the whole thing. They just shut down the entire government because the moderates are extinct as a party force. That should tell you something right there.

The fact that party leadership still thinks they can control this beast they created without going after the Hydra’s head — the Koch billions — is just pathetic.


Filed under politics, Republican Party, Tea Party

Tea Party Dumbasses

In my neighborhood people are having serious flooding issues from “infill” development — that’s where they tear down one house and put two, three or four on the same lot. Naturally the extra paving and loss of grass causes drainage problems for neighbors and right now Nashville regulations don’t require developments of under 10,000 square-feet to file a stormwater plan. That’s going to change because we’re not fucking idiots in this city, but not if people like my dumbass Tea Party neighbor have their way. My neighbor informed me that city stormwater regs are “big government” and people just need to individually take care of their perimeter and all will be well.

“Build a wall” he said because, really, what could possibly go wrong?

So here’s my suggestion: clearly you people are too dumb for urban living. Why not move out to the country and get yourself 25 acres or so. Something where you can bootstrap yourselves all the livelong day and just pat yourselves on the back for being so self-sufficient and individualistic and all.

Then you won’t have to worry about living in close quarters with neighbors, unless of course your neighbors happen to be Muslims, and then you can pop your copy of the Constitution in the shredder and eminent domain yourselves silly.


Filed under Nashville, religion, Tea Party, Tennessee

Republicans In Disarray, Episode Eleventybillion

Anyone who doubts how completely off the rails the Republican Party has gone need look no further than so-called “moderate” (as in, “not crazy”) Republican Senator Lamar Alexander, Tennessee’s elder statesman who supposedly left his leadership post two years ago so he could be freed from the toe-the-party-line restraints of leadership and work to “make the Senate a more effective institution” and “deal with serious issues.”

Serious issues like immigration reform? The fiscal cliff? Taxation? Indeed! That has the nut wing of the GOP calling for the fainting couches, however:

In Alexander’s case, the disgruntlement keeps alive the possibility of a primary challenge in 2014, when he will run for a third term, say Cunningham and other tea party leaders in the state.

“There is a lot of chatter (about challenging Alexander),” said Mark Herr, head of the Mid-South Tea Party in Memphis.

In addition to immigration reform, the Tennessee senators have drawn flak from some conservatives this year for supporting sales taxes on Internet purchases, accepting dinner invitations from President Barack Obama, supporting income tax increases on upper incomes in order to avoid a “fiscal cliff” and supporting a cloture motion that allowed Senate Democrats to bring up a proposal for expanded background checks on gun sales. Despite voting for cloture, Corker and Alexander opposed expanded background checks themselves.

He had dinner with President Obama? Traitor!!!

Hilarious. Alexander has high approval ratings in Tennessee, and one would think his reputation as a “moderate,” “serious” politician and growing war chest would allay any fears that his seat is threatened by mouthbreathers in tricorner hats.

Still, Alexander appears to be taking this Tea Party primary threat seriously. The election is still over a year away, but Tennesseans are being reminded of what a massive defender of freedom Alexander is, with this TV ad featuring a cameo by Tea Party darling Rand Paul. Here’s “Man of the people” Lamar Alexander, standing up to Dah Man (ahem, Army Corps of Engineers) to protect your right to fish below a dam (and possibly drown). Take that, Big Government! That’s some world class populism, and just to prove what Defender Of Freedom Alexander is, he made sure to have BFF Rand Paul’s ugly mug in the ad, too. Brush with greatness, I tell ya!

That oughta stomp on any Tea Party primary challenge, amiright? I’m sure the Freedom To Fish Act and Rand Paul will completely make up for all the other stuff Lamar Alexander did to piss off the Tea Party.

Alternately, Lamar Alexander thinks the Tea Party is that stupid? Who knows, he could be right. Why else spend the money and run the ad in the first place? Either way it sure speaks volumes about how the Tea Party has so-called moderates running scared.


Filed under Sen. Lamar Alexander, Tea Party, Tennessee

“The Dog That Caught The Bus”


The hits just keep on coming:

LOS ANGELES — After years of grueling battles over state budget deficits and spending cuts, California has a new challenge on its hand: too much money. An unexpected surplus is fueling an argument over how the state should respond to its turn of good fortune.

The amount is a matter of debate, but by any measure significant: between $1.2 billion, projected by Gov. Jerry Brown, and $4.4 billion, the estimate of the Legislature’s independent financial analyst. The surplus comes barely three years after the state was facing a deficit of close to $60 billion.

Governor Moonbeam did what Ah-nuld was unable to do in two terms. Brown is a Democrat, but a fiscally responsible one. Which just goes to show: if you want to actually balance budgets, not harp and moan about them, elect Democrats.


Ruh-roh. Republicans have made budget deficit alarmism the main reason for their existence, but facts and math have thrown a wrench in their political plans:

Republicans who have made the deficit their central ideological focus are, in some sense, the dog that caught the bus. The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office estimated this month that the deficit for this fiscal year, which ends Sept. 30, will fall to about $642 billion, or 4 percent of the nation’s annual economic output, less than half the 2011 deficit and about $200 billion lower than the agency had estimated three months ago.

The agency forecast that the deficit, which topped 10 percent of the gross domestic product in 2009, could shrink to as little as 2.1 percent of the G.D.P. by 2015, a level most analysts say would be easily sustainable over the long run.

In fact, Republicans’ insistence on chasing the “exploding budget deficit” fairy tale has been problematic for their political strategizing:

House Republicans had envisioned a plan to reach a comprehensive deficit reduction deal predicated on a showdown in July over the debt ceiling. That showdown was supposed to drive both sides back to the bargaining table, but a rapidly falling deficit, rising tax payments and huge infusions of cash from the newly profitable, federally controlled home financing agencies Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have scrambled those plans. Now, the debt ceiling may not have to be raised until October or November, in the next fiscal year.

Awwww…. Meanwhile, the Tea Party is digging its heels in, continuing to call for cuts and refusing to negotiate with the Senate on reconciling the two chambers’ differing budget proposals. This is all because the Republicans are in utter disarray. I’m not sure an image of a Republican Party unable to find its own ass with a map and a compass is how the GOP envisioned going into the 2014 midterms.


Filed under budget, deficit, Republican Party, Tea Party

They Won’t Ever Be Satisfied

photo-451-e1362947626984-140x140“Dozens” of Tea Party crazies “rallied” at the Tennessee State Capitol, not to protest Obamacare’s expansion of Medicaid as was the stated purpose of the event, but really just to protest Obama. Because the Teanuts will never, ever be happy as long as the Kenyan Usurper Nobummer Blackety Black Man is in “their” house:

DesJarlais spoke at the rally, which was sparsely attended. And in the crowd of around 100, most of the discontent was less with expanding Medicaid, and more with President Obama. Linda Tomasik traveled from Memphis.

The only reason I’m here is not to protest Obamacare. I’ll put it that way. It’s just because I don’t think he should be president.

Is this not hilarious? The last gasps of the disgraced Tea Party show up to hear disgraced Rep. Scott DesJarlaid talk about being “principled” in a protest of a president who just got overwhelmingly re-elected.

DesJarlais, of course, is the pro-life serial philanderer who begged his mistress to get an abortion. Yes, do tell me about how Tennessee needs to lead the nation in being “principled.” I’m all ears.

Also: There’s nothing like a pro-life doctor protesting providing healthcare to the poor. That, my friends, is the definition of fail.

I’ve said from day one that the Tea Party stands for nothing more than an inchoate rage at their cultural irrelevance, with a dash of fear of change. Doesn’t seem like the message has “evolved” in any way.


Filed under Tea Party, Tennessee

Payback, Republican Style?

Oh my God, how did I not know that the WWE had created a villainous Tea Party wrestling character, with an evil manager sidekick? To wit:

Appearing on Monday Night Raw last week, Swagger and Colter were booed by the crowd as they overzealously talked about the Constitution, the scourge of illegal immigration, and “true patriotism.” Other promotional videos of the two show them talking about freeloading immigrants and welfare recipients in front of the Gadsden flag, which has become symbolic of the Tea Party movement.

Swagger is set to battle for the “World Heavyweight Championship” (or whatever it’s called) against Mexican wrestler Alberto Del Rio — clearly a play on the stereotypical tension between anti-immigration types and Mexicans.

Further hyping the “Tea Party” gimmick, during one match ringside commentators Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler continually referred to Colter as Swagger’s “nutjob” manager, and said that the pair had received “fan mail” from controversial conservatives like Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and Alex Jones.

Conservative blog Twitchy hit back at the WWE with a clever swipe at pro-”wrestling” itself: “WWE’s racist Tea Party villain as realistic as pro wrestling.”

Oooh yes, clever indeed. Nobody ever made that joke before!

Trying to think of why WWE would make fun of the Tea Party. I wonder if it has anything to do with Linda McMahon’s failed run for Connecticut Senate? McMahon, whose husband owns and operates WWE, lost handily to Democrat Chris Murphy. But I had thought McMahon was the Tea Party candidate?

Odd, but there’s no fuck you like a Republican fuck you.


Filed under Republican Party, Tea Party