Tag Archives: This So-Called American Life

Stop Calling It Road Rage

It’s just gun culture reacting in predictable ways, with completely predictable results:

LAS VEGAS – The family of a Las Vegas mother of four who was killed in an apparent road rage shooting last week says she was just trying to protect her daughter when she went home to get her son and his gun, then drove around the neighborhood searching for a man who may have eventually killed her.

[…]

“My mom was protecting me this night, you know? She was doing what every mother would do is protect her baby,” 15-year-old Kristal Meyers said Tuesday night at a candlelight vigil in the cul-de-sac where the family lives, about 5 miles west of the Las Vegas Strip.

Yeah, how’d that work out for you guys, now that you’re making funeral arrangements? She could have gone inside and called the police but no, gun culture and the NRA says you gotta take matters into your own hands and hunt down your fucked up, also-armed neighbor. Because Freedumb:

Meyers said his wife and son went looking for Nowsch after the road rage incident because they knew him and where he lived.

This isn’t road rage. Road rage implies a randomness, strangers whose chance encounter on the highway escalates because one person can’t control their emotions. These people knew each other. Both were armed. And that’s what changed everything.

I’m done feeling sorry for you people. Live by the gun, die by the gun. Constitution, Founding Fathers, blah blah. This is the country you want to live in? These are the neighborhoods you’re creating for our families? Fuck you.

21 Comments

Filed under gun control, gun violence

SHOCKED To Find Gambling In This Establishment

Conservatives are finally learning that grifters gotta grift and a whole lot of them are doing it on their side of the aisle. Hilarious.

I love this:

For example, did you know that despite the fact that it raised a staggering 13 million dollars, The National Draft Ben Carson for President isn’t affiliated with Ben Carson and the small percentage of money it spent on independent expenditures didn’t go to him?

I’m sorry but Ben Carson is batshit insane. He’s a loon, barking mad, a total crackpot. If you’re giving money to get this raging narcissist elected president, I don’t feel sorry for you. You’re as divorced from reality as he is.

Sigh. If only someone had seen this coming.

Oh, wait. We did. Hell, we told you Sarah Palin’s teasing “campaigns” are nothing but one giant exercise in graft.

Don’t say we didn’t try to warn you. But no, you were too busy waving your Gadsden flags and screaming about socialism to pay attention.

Sucks to be you.

3 Comments

Filed under conservatives, Republican Party, scam, Tea Party

Fun With Crowdfunding

Some Texas open carry loons are trying to crowdfund their lawsuit against the Arlington PD, which arrested them during one of their lame demonstrations. They’ve only raised $160 out of a needed $10,000 but they’ve generated a few hilarious comments in the process. Friends, I bring you the Wrongfully Arrested Oppression Fund!

Some of my favorite comments:

fund1

fund 2

Fund 3

Is there nothing more precious than an open carry crybaby? I think not.

5 Comments

Filed under gun control, internet

Death Panels

Pearls of wisdom from our corporate overlords at Koch Industries the American Enterprise Institute. You can’t make this shit up:

In a world of scarce resources, a slightly higher mortality rate is an acceptable price to pay for certain goals — including more cash for other programs, such as those that help the poor; less government coercion and more individual liberty; more health-care choice for consumers, allowing them to find plans that better fit their needs; more money for taxpayers to spend themselves; and less federal health-care spending. This opinion is not immoral. Such choices are inevitable. They are made all the time.

Consider, for example, speed limits. By allowing people to drive their cars at speeds at which collisions result in death, our government has decided that the socially optimal number of traffic fatalities is not zero. Some poor souls die: There were more than 30,000 traffic fatalities on America’s roads in 2013. If we didn’t accept that risk, we’d lower the speed limit to a rate at which accidents simply don’t kill, such as 10 mph. Instead, we’ve raised it periodically over the years, and you can now go as fast as 85 mph on a few highways.

Collateral damage, y’all. Well, I suppose if you overlook the fact that we do lower speed limits all the damn time (in places like school zones, neighborhoods, construction zones, high-density pedestrian areas, etc.) AND if you blithely avoid acknowledging that the auto industry spends bazillions (and the government mandates) safety measures like air bags and seat belts etc. etc., not to mention mandatory insurance coverage for when accidents do happen, if you ignore all these and dozens of other things you might have a point. But since I won’t, you don’t.

You, sir, win the Failed Analogy Award of the year. You’re also an asshole. And a sociopath.

God these corporate idiots and their free market fairy tales. And yet, they’re always the first ones to go whining to the courthouse when something happens to them and their precious darlings. Just Go Galt on your freedom island already and leave running the country to the rest of us who have some common sense.

BTW, no discussion of the American Enterprise Institute is complete without providing a list of who they represent.

9 Comments

Filed under conservatives, moral values

At Least We Didn’t Start A War This Time

So, it’s starting to look like North Korea was not responsible for the Sony hack after all. Hilarious:

The FBI was briefed Monday by a security firm who believe the signs point to former Sony employees as responsible for the hacking. The briefing was first reported by Politico and later confirmed by CBS News MondayNight.

Researchers with Norse, a cybersecurity firm say their information points to both hackers working with a piracy group and a laid-off, disgruntled worker.

That’s the same version that Norse gave CBS News’ Ben Tracy in a story reported Dec. 23.

Oh, you silly fools. Yes, this story speaks to the difficulty of navigating the brave new world of cybersecurity. But the knee-jerk response by millions of Americans and our sensationalistic news media speaks to something far worse.

That millions of Americans would flock to a sophomoric movie as a sign of “patriotism” shows how shallow American civic sentiment is today. I’m also appalled at how easily a media firestorm can spread through every corner of this country, devoid of any rational thought. Have we not learned any lessons from the past 15 years? Look how quickly it was simply taken on faith that North Korea was responsible for the hacking of Sony Pictures because hey, that’s what they said on the TeeVee! An irresponsible news media picked up the narrative, tweaked the American amygdala, and manipulated the emotions of millions of people — driving them to see a film most of them in all likelihood would have had no interest in seeing. But they did it because, “America, fuck yeah!” Well, at least we didn’t start a war this time.

Let’s turn this one over to Albert Brooks:

AlbertBrooks

Ha! This is without a doubt the most brain-dead population in human history, and the most completely useless news media in the free world.

Here in Tennessee, movie marquees blared “Freedom prevails” and people showed up to screenings waving American flags and expressing their dislike of the North Korean dictator:

It was Linda Ranz’s idea to see “The Interview” at the Belcourt Theatre. It was husband David Ranz’s idea to bring the outfit.

Decked out in American flag colors while wearing a blue Santa hat with an American flag and a photo of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s face pinned to it, David said Thursday he was fulfilling his patriotic duty. About this time last year, the couple were on vacation standing outside the North Korean border.

The experience opened their eyes to how great America’s freedoms are, they said. And like many of the hundreds there for the sold-out 1:30 p.m. showing, they arrived to make a statement that art will prevail.

“They think they can change how we live our lives, but we can’t let that happen,” said David Ranz, 62, a Murfreesboro resident. “I have grandchildren now, and we have to set an example for them to hold on to the things that are so special to us.”

If the best way you can set an example is to see a movie filled with foul language and sophomoric frat boy jokes, then you, Mr. Ranz, are an idiot. I despair for this country and our world.

4 Comments

Filed under politics and film, pop culture

Where Your Treasure Is

… there your heart will be also.

And with a record $4 billion+ — that’s billion, with a B — spent on this midterm election, it’s safe to say that America’s heart is with power.

That’s it. Very simple and terribly sad. Slow clap, Murrica. This is why we can’t have nice things. When I think what we could do with $4 billion — free college education, healthcare, assistance to small businesses or child care for single moms or what about high speed rail or hey, let’s fix our roads and bridges, maybe? — and realize it’s all been squandered on something as dumb as trying to sway the outcome of a midterm election, I just have to despair at how shallow we are as a nation.

Remember, too, that a large chunk of that sum was spent by people (*cough*cough*KOCH BROTHERS*cough*cough) who are fighting against even the teeniest tiniest increase in their taxes. That billionaires would spend millions to sway an election and hold onto their power pretty much proves why we need to raise their taxes in the first place.

Here’s something that makes me want to guzzle bleach:

beshearTWEET

Note the date. And time.

Are you people even fucking serious? We haven’t even had this midterm election and you’re already ginning up ideas for the next Senate campaign?

Here’s another sobering thought, from the same Wall Street Journal story linked to above:

What’s even more startling is that the $4 billion figure—which also includes $315 million spent on operating costs by PACs—doesn’t include the full picture of outside spending in this year’s races. The projection only includes spending disclosed to the Federal Election Commission. The CRP estimates that another $100 million will likely be spent on the election by next month, though the exact number is impossible to know because of disclosure rules.

Well, I suppose what we don’t know won’t hurt us, right? Meanwhile, remind me about how we can’t afford this, that and the other because of freedom and free markets and whatever. Right. Keep pretending this shit doesn’t matter, everyone.

22 Comments

Filed under elections, media

War On Halloween

[UPDATE]:

Welcome, Crooks & Liars!

———————————-

Next time someone says we need to let “charity” deal with the poor, remind them that the reason that doesn’t work is because people are selfish assholes:

Dear Prudence,

I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets—mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I have noticed that on Halloween, what seems like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween isn’t a social service or a charity in which I have to buy candy for less fortunate children. Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person, because what’s the big deal about making less fortunate kids happy on a holiday? But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services. Should Halloween be a neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a free-for-all in which people hunt down the best candy grounds for their kids?

—Halloween for the 99 Percent

OMG. Prudence responds:

Your whine makes me kind of wish that people from the actual poor side of town come this year not with scary costumes but with real pitchforks. Stop being callous and miserly and go to Costco, you cheapskate, and get enough candy to fill the bags of the kids who come one day a year to marvel at how the 1 percent live.

A part of me has to wonder if some of these kids from “less fortunate areas” aren’t maybe, you know, of a different skin color from our letter writer? And that maybe a big part of her beef is that her neighborhood is overrun with black and brown families for a night? Just a guess, but certainly one that has to be considered.

This isn’t the first time the holidays have brought out the less charitable side of Americans. A few years ago I wrote about local Nashvillians begrudging the trash collectors their Christmas tip because “mah tax dollahs!” Funny how some folks seem to think that paying taxes entitles them to be selfish, self-satisfied pricks.

Get over yourselves and STFU. And if our letter writer really doesn’t think those poor kids deserve her candy because of all the free stuff they get from the taxpayers, she can turn off all the house lights, shut the curtains, and hole up under her blanket for a night, blocking out the cries from the less fortunate outside her window. Seems to be working for her so far.

14 Comments

Filed under Holidays, poverty