So it looks like tomorrow is the big day! You know, the day when Herman Cain assembles the political press and finally gets to say: “Psych! Gotcha suckers, I really fooled you! Rubes!”
I have been waiting for this day for a long time. I simply have never believed this is a serious campaign. I’ve always said Cain is indulging in an elaborate piece of performance art, Yes Men-style, to make a statement about our corrupt and flawed political process. I mean, that has to be it. That’s the only explanation for this seriously farcical campaign.
And trust me, folks: we are long overdue. Every time I think Cain is going to do his big reveal he’s upped the ante. It’s truly brilliant. I thought it was all over when he started reciting poetry from Pokemon movies, then when he cribbed his “9-9-9” plan from a video game, and then when he released that strange cigarette-smoking ad that ended with a creepy leer. But he keeps bouncing back because, geez I dunno, either Republican voters are that stupid or (more likely) our political news media is just having too much fun.
But it’s got to be all over now. Did you see the hilarious “Women For Herman Cain” web page supposedly launched by Cain’s wife, Gloria? (And yes, I’m calling bullshit on that one, big-time. No way in hell did Herm’s wife sign off on this.) The web page features a stock photo featuring the appropriate racial diversity of young females (UPDATE: stock photo image has been ditched as of 12/3), plus testimonials from Cain’s supposed female fan club. It’s a jaw-dropping display of denial, self-delusion and tragic Christianity. Go read a few, and you’ll see what I mean (if the page has been dismantled, Little Green Footballs has excerpted a few posts). Some of these items, like the word salad from Adrienne (Caos) Sinclair, are downright bizarre. What campaign puts this stuff on their web page?
So once again I’m left with no other choice than to conclude this is a fake campaign. And since the whole world is laughing at Herman Cain, it has to be a fake campaign with a purpose. What could that be? I say it’s to make a point — a gloriously satirical one, at that — revealing our political process to be a cesspool of political sycophants and a pathetically uneducated electorate.
Because what else can it be? For Herman Cain to actually be running for president and for his campaign to actually be taking itself seriously requires a leap of logic that I just can’t take. If this all isn’t one elaborate hoax, then that means our political institutions and media are so hopelessly broken that we truly are fucked as a nation. There will be no recovery from this morass that is the Republican presidential primary.
So please, I beg of you: tell us this has all been a massive joke, already. I really can’t live with the alternative. Please tell me I’m not the delusional one here.
Southern Beale 
…sry, but he’s been dead serious all along.
we are sooooooo fucked…
You gotta be kidding to say you’re ‘unsure’ if it’s a joke or not. Of course it’s a parody and a joke. ….all that’s missing — some animal rights folks to say he never bothered their pet poodles…..
THANK GOD I’m not the only one!
Whew!
I’m with themadkansan – sort of, almost.
The performance art idea comes from Rachel Maddow, I believe, and it does have a lot of appeal. The extraordinary thing here is that so many people jumped on his bandwagon. This reflects Rethug despair over the ultimate Romney candidacy, and also the profound stupidity of the Rethug electorate.
It’s tempting to cite Poe’s law as well, but let’s use Occam’s razor. The simplest explanation is that this is publicity promotion for his book tour and motivational speaking enterprise. (Cue Palin and Gingrich) While it’s certainly possible that he got caught up in it, and took it semi-seriously himself, for a while – hence the nod to kansan – I really don’t think he ever truly believed in it.
It’s hard to find a person less prepared and suited for the presidency than Herm (cue Palin again.)
Unless you survey the rest of the Rethug field. What a god-damned clown car of ignorance and idiocy.
Huntsman is actually the best of the bunch, and he’s a turd.
WASF!
JzB
I followed the link to “Women for Cain”, noticed a comment near the bottom signed with a very unusual name, and googled that name. Google found one person in the US with that name; it’s plausible that she might have written the words on that site.
So if it’s a parody, it’s a fairly deep and elaborate parody.
The performance art idea comes from Rachel Maddow, I believe ….
No I had it first. I just didn’t blog it, but I definitely commented it over at Balloon Juice and some other places. I’m quite certain that if Rachel Maddow didn’t get the idea from me, then we at least arrived at it independently. And other people have had the same idea, too.
Which gives it even more credibility. If it’s that obvious to so many people, it simply has to be true.
And to answer Joel Hanes, just because Cain’s campaign is a satirical parody does not preclude people from actually believing it and supporting the candidate. That, in fact, is the whole point! That’s why the big reveal will be so important. Because if so many people could be suckered into thinking this clown is actually suited to be president despite all glaring evidence to the contrary, that makes a huge statement about modern America and how unsuitable our electorate is for democracy. We’ve dumbed down our population so much that they will now follow any sheep out of the pasture.
Remember the movie “Being There”? Great movie, won a bunch of awards. This is “Being There” in living color.
Time to call “Big John” out of hibernation. I can see it now, “CainMcCainCaingit’erdone!”.
After reading about four of the comments on the ‘Women For Cain” website I’m beginning to think that there are LOTS of KKKrazzeepants mofos out there, waylotz.
Yes! Thanks, SB, for putting the correct label on this phony. And since Cain is TOTALLY funded by the racist dogs, the KOCH brothers, I knew this ‘campaign’ another of their bigoted jokes on the crazy TEA PARTY followers, those who professed such hatred of our 1/2 black, brilliant President. They knew what a shallow, egotistical nitwit he is and used his “blackness” to embarrass African Americans. Since I live in a black community in East Knoxville, worship with a black pastor (awesome young teacher), I received a copy of a ‘letter’ aimed at Cain that was brilliant, compelling, and truth-telling about how his “candidacy” was a fraud and a sham and that he should stop his campaign immediately.
Yeah, and I do wonder how many REALLY believed in him, even before all his “women” came out of their closets.
Someone suggested that Cain was funded & pushed by the Koch Brothers to make Newt Gingrich seem palatable. Which is silly, I think, but an interesting idea nonetheless.
The Cain campaign has replaced the smiling young women on the ‘Women for Cain’ site with one of Herman and Gloria. She looks like she’s gritting her teeth and muttering under her breath, “I swear, Herman, this is positively the last time I’m posing like this for you.”
My dear husband points out that “Women for Cain” should now read “Woman for Cain”.
Oh, my. All these poor women who will be so devastated now that Herman has suspended his campaign. America is doomed! DOOMED!
Snerk.
I call shenanigans. I’ve read more believable letters in Penthouse Forum.
Michael Tomasky believes Teh Herminator’s campaign was serious, and unlike most of us, Tomasky has actually read the silly horndog’s book (Tomasky’s NYRB book review is here).
I think Tomasky makes a pretty strong case.
Oops, second link should be this.