When Pigs Fly

This will happen when monkeys fly out of Rick Santorum’s armpit:

The report calls on Republicans to counter the party’s image as an arm of business. It says Republicans should “blow the whistle at corporate malfeasance and attack corporate welfare. We should speak out when a company liquidates itself and its executives receive bonuses but rank-and-file workers are left unemployed. We should speak out when CEOs receive tens of millions of dollars in retirement packages but middle-class workers have not had a meaningful raise in years.”

Yes, you should! Why don’t you? Maybe because it’s really hard to blow a whistle with the same mouth you’re using to fellate corporate interests and Wall Street bankers?

It gets better:

Beyond that, however, there are no policy details. Indeed, the authors point out that they are not a policy committee, in a section calling on the GOP to “embrace and champion” comprehensive immigration reform without further specifics.

In addition, an extensive set of “inclusion” proposals for minority groups, including Latinos, Asians and African Americans, appears to mimic similar, failed outreach efforts by various RNC chairs over the last 30 years.

Of course there are no policy details. The Republican Party hasn’t had a new idea since Ronald Reagan. Conservatism by its very nature is the antithesis to new ideas. These are the same people who don’t believe in science, in evolution, in a living, breathing Constitution. They are cemented in the past, indeed that is the very definition of being conservative.

It’s hard not to look at this RNC “report” as nothing more than another canon fired in the war between establishment Republicans and the Tea Birchers. The RNC’s report is getting a lot of national attention today, and that’s no coincidence: conservatives just spent the weekend grumbling about how they want segregation back and cheering tired old Telepromptr jokes at the CPAC freak show. The Teanuts are the Neanderthals of conservatism, trying to drag the Republican Party back to the swamp. Reince Priebus has thrown this post mortem out as a warning to those rabble rousers that they’d better step in line or get thrown under the bus. Good luck with that!

Fun fact: remove all of the vowels from Reince Priebus and you get RNC PR BS. Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor?